6.  ^^.  ©an; 


Stom  f  ^e  £i6rati?  of 

(ptoftBBox  ^amuef  (Qtiffer 

in  (glemoti?  of 

3ubge  ^amuef  (ttliffer  Q0tecfeinribge 

(presented  6i> 

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to  f  ^e  £i6rati^  of 

iptincdon  C^eofogicctf  ^emtndrjj 

BV  660  .S36  1841 

Scott,  Thomas,  1747-1821. 

The  force  of  truth 


^^. 


THE 


FORCE    OF    TR  UTH 


AUTHENTIC    NARRATIVE, 


By  Rev.  THOMAS  SCOTT,  D.  D. 


WITH    A    RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER, 

Br  Rev.  SAMUEL  MILLER,  D.  D. 

TO   WHICH   ARE   ADDED, 

EIGHT  LETTERS  ADDRESSED  TO  DR.  SCOTT,    BY   REV. 
JOHN    NEWTON. 


PHILADELPHIA: 

PRESBYTERIAN    BOARD    OF    PUBLICATION. 
James  rcssell,  publishing  agent. 

1841. 


Printed  by 

WILLIAM    S.    MARTIEN. 


PREFACE. 

If  a  book  do  not  apologize  for  itself, 
it  is  in  vain  for  the  author  to  attempt  it 
by  a  preface ;  I  shall,  therefore,  only  de- 
clare the  nature  and  intent  of  this  publi- 
cation. 

Indeed,  it  contains  little  more  than  the 
history  of  my  heart,  that  forge  of  iniquity; 
and  my  conscience,  that  friendly,  but  too 
often  neglected  monitor.  By  men  in 
general,  this  latter  is  hated,  because,  as 
far  as  informed,  it  boldly  tells  the  truth: 
and  their  grand  endeavour  seems  to  be, 
to  lay  it  asleep,  or  to  render  it  as  in- 
sensible as  if  seared  with  a  hot  iron. 
Through  the  deceitfulness  of  the  human 
heart,  the  allurements  of  the  world,  and 
the  artifices  of  Satan,  this,  at  length,  is 
commonly  accomplished;  and  in  the 
meantime,  they  deafen  themselves  to  its 


PREFACE. 


remonstrances,  by  living  in  a  continual 
noise  and  bustle.  The  conflict  in  my 
soul  between  these  two  is  here  related; 
and  some  account  given  of  the  artifices 
which  Satan,  in  confederacy  with  my 
heart,  made  use  of  to  keep  my  conscience 
quiet,  and  silence  its  remonstrances;  and 
also  of  the  means  which  the  Lord  em- 
ployed to  defeat  this  conspiracy,  to  give 
conscience  its  due  ascendency,  and  to 
incline  my  before  unwilhng  heart  to  be- 
come obedient  to  its  friendly  admoni- 
tions; with  the  effect  thereof  upon  my 
religious  views  and  conduct. 

As  to  the  effect  of  this  publication  re- 
specting my  character  and  worldly  in- 
terest, myself,  and  all  that  is  dear  to 
me,  I  would  leave  in  his  hands,  who 
causeth  all  to  work  together  for  good, 
to  them  that  love  him,  whom  be  hath 
called  according  to  his  purpose.  And 
he  hath  so  evinced  his  care  over  me, 
and  goodness  to  me,  in  all  the  concerns 
of  my  past  life,  that  it  were  shameful,  if 


PREFACE. 


I  did  not  most  willingly  cast  all  my  care 
upon  him  for  the  future.  But,  reader, 
the  effect  of  it  respecting  thee,  I  have 
much  at  heart ;  and  have  had,  and  shall, 
I  trust,  continue  to  have  it  much  in  my 
prayers. 

If  thou  art  a  believing  servant  of  God, 
I  hope  thou  wilt  see  cause  to  bless  God 
in  me,  and  wilt  be  established  and  com- 
forted thereby ;  according  to  the  fervent 
desire  of  my  soul,  for  all  that  love  the 
Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity.  If  thou 
art  one,  whose  experience  answers  in 
many  things  to  what  is  related  in  the 
former  part  of  this  narrative,  as  face 
answers  to  face  in  the  water,  may  the 
Lord,  the  Spirit  who  convinceth  of  sin, 
alarm  thy  drowsy  conscience,  and  bring 
thee  under  a  serious  concern  for  thy  pre- 
cious soul,  and  its  eternal  interests :  may 
he  incline  thine  heart  diligently  to  use 
the  means  here  spoken  of,  as  far  as  con- 
science evidences  it  to  be  thy  duty ;  and 
may  he  bless  the  means  for  enlightening 


PREFACE. 


thy  mind  with  the  knowledge  of  the 
truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus;  and  guiding  thy 
wandering  feet  into  the  ways  of  peace. 
This,  be  assured,  is  my  hearty  prayer 
for  thee;  and  with  this  prayer  I  com- 
mend this  w^ork  unto  the  Lord,  that  if  it 
be  his  blessed  will,  he  may  employ  it  as 
an  instrument  for  advancing  his  glory, 
and  the  salvation  of  souls. 

THOMAS  SCOTT. 
Weston,  Underwood,  Feb.  26,  1779. 


PREFACE  TO  THE  SECOND  EDITION. 

About  ten  years  have  elapsed  since  the 
first  pubUcation  of  the  ensuing  narra- 
tive. In  that  space  I  have  had  much 
opportunity  of  re-examining  the  Scrip- 
tures, and  of  making  observations,  both 
in  the  world  and  in  the  professing  church; 
as  well  as  of  getting  a  further  measure 
of  self-knowledge.  But  I  bless  God,  that 
upon  a  revisal  of  The  Force  of  Truth, 
in  order  to  a  second  edition,  I  see  no 
cause  to  retract  a  single  sentence,  or  to 
propose  any  matter  differently  than  be- 
fore. If  any  one  should  bestow  the 
pains  to  compare  this  with  the  former 
edition,  he  will  indeed  find  severaX  verbal 
alterations,  in  which  brevity,  perspicuity, 
and  precision  alone  have  been  consulted: 
but  he  will  not  meet  with  a  single  varia- 
tion, which  in  any  measure  changes  the 
meaning  of  the  passage.     Had  I  mate- 


y  PREFACE. 

rially  altered  my  sentiments,  I  would 
either  have  refused  to  concur  in  publish- 
ing a  second  edition,  or  have  fairly 
avowed  that  alteration :  but,  on  the  con- 
trary, I  deem  it  incumbent  upon  me  to 
declare,  that  I  am  more  than  ever  estab- 
lished in  the  belief  of  all  those  doctrines 
that  I  before  proposed,  as  the  leading 
truths  of  Christianity. 

THOMAS  SCOTT. 
London,  Chapel-street,  March  31,  1789. 


RECOMMENDATORY  LETTER. 


To  the  Chairman  of  the  Executive  Committee  of  the 
Board  of  Publication  of  the  General  Assembly  of  the 
Presbyterian  Church,  in  the  United  States: 

Reverend  and  Dear  Brother, 

It  is  extensively  known  that  the  pious  and 
eminently  useful  Dr.  Thomas  Scott,  the  Com- 
mentator, who  for  a  number  of  years,  occu- 
pied so  high  a  place  in  the  confidence  and  af- 
fections of  the  friends  of  evangelical  truth  and 
of  vital  piety,  entered  the  sacred  office,  with- 
out any  practical  acquaintance  with  the  re- 
ligion of  which  he  undertook  to  be  a  teacher. 
For  several  years  after  his  ordination,  and 
after  he  had  made  the  solemn  subscription 
to  the  thirty-nine  Articles,  &c.,  required  of 
those  who  are  received  into  the  Ministry  of 
the  Church  of  England,  he  was,  in  spirit 
and  in  creed,  a  Unitarian  and  Pelagian, 
and  deliberately  acting  upon  the  most  selfish 
and  worldly  principles  in  all  his  studies  and 

pursuits.     From  this  dream  of  proud  self- 
1 


10  RECOMMENDATORY     LETTER. 

confidence  it  pleased  God  to  awaken  him, 
by  a  series  of  events  apparently  accidental; 
to  lead  him  to  renounce  his  errors  one  after 
another,  and  eventually  to  enable  him  to  re- 
pose and  rejoice  in  that  precious  system  of 
free  and  sovereign  grace,  which  once  he 
despised. 

With  the  account  which  he  has  himself 
given  of  this  change  in  his  views  under  the 
title  of  *'  The  Force  of  Truth,"  you  have 
been  long  acquainted;  and,  if  I  mistake  not, 
more  than  one  edition  of  this  account  has, 
within  the  last  twenty  years,  been  given  to 
the  American  public.  Still  the  work  has  not 
that  general  circulation  which  its  deeply 
interesting  character  renders  desirable.  I 
could  earnestly  wish  to  see  it  take  a  place 
among  the  volumes  issued  by  our  Board  of 
Publication,  and  finding  its  way  to  every 
Presbyterian  family  in  the  land.  I  am  per- 
suaded it  is  in  your  power  greatly  to  extend 
its  circulation;  and,  in  my  opinion,  it  is  hardly 
possible  unduly  to  multiply  the  copies  of  a 
work  so  eminently  adapted  to  illustrate  and 
magnify  the  grace  of  God. 

What  though  the  venerable  Author  of  this 
narrative  belonged  to  a  different  ecclesiasti- 


RECOMMENDATORY   LETTER.  11 

cal  pale  from  that  in  which  it  is  our  happi- 
ness to  find  ourselves,  and  to  labour?  This 
circumstance  does  not,  with  me,  form  the 
least  deduction  from  its  value.  Perhaps  it 
may  be  said  to  be  one  of  the  chief  glories  of 
that  system  which  we  adopt,  as  Presbyte- 
rians, that  it  turns  away  the  minds  of  men 
from  an  undue  regard  to  the  external  forms 
of  the  Gospel,  to  that  simple  purity  of  evan- 
gelical truth,  which  is  "the  power  of  God 
unto  salvation  to  every  one  that  belie veth;" 
that  it  guards  us  against  the  miserable  wor- 
ship of  heartless  rites  and  genealogies,  as  a 
ground  of  hope  towards  God,  and  teaches  us 
to  place  all  our  confidence  on  the  atoning 
sacrifice  and  perfect  righteousness  of  "  Him 
who,  through  the  eternal  Spirit,  offered  him- 
self without  spot,  the  just  for  the  unjust,  that 
He  might  bring  us  to  God.^'  May  it  ever  be 
so !  I  regard  every  man  as  my  brother  in 
Christ,  however  he  may  differ  from  me  in 
other  respects,  who  teaches  me  to  "glory  in 
nothing  save  in  the  cross  of  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ;"  and  who  represents  salvation,  in  its 
beginning,  its  sum,  and  its  completion,  as 
wholly  of  free,  rich,  and  sovereign  grace 
"abounding,    through    righteousness,  unto 


12  RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER. 

eternal  life  by  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord ;"  and 
who,  while  he  unceasingly  proclaims,  that 
my  title  to  heaven  rests  solely  on  the  ground 
of  the  atonement  and  righteousness  of  the 
Redeemer  as  my  surety,  ceases  not  to  insist 
that  my  preparation  for  heaven  can  be 
effected  only  by  the  renewal  and  sanctifi- 
cation  of  my  heart  by  the  power  of  the  Holy 
Spirit,  and  inclining  me  to  "deny  ungodliness 
and  worldly  lusts,  and  to  live  soberly,  right- 
eously and  godly,  in  this  present  evil  world," 
and  to  walk  before  God  in  all  the  ways  of 
holy  obedience. 

When,  therefore,  I  open  the  volumes  of 
such  men  as  Scott,  and  Newton,  and  Cecil, 
I  entirely  forget  the  system  of  Prelacy  with 
which  they  happened  to  be  connected,  and 
drink  in  the  precious  streams  of  evangelical 
and  experimental  truth  which  they  pour 
forth,  without  thinking  that  they  belonged  to 
a  different  fold  from  myself;  or  rather  feeling 
that  they  and  I  belong,  in  reality,  to  the 
SAME  Church,  the  same  precious  body  which 
the  Redeemer  has  purchased  with  his  blood, 
and  sanctified  by  his  blessed  Spirit.  Let  my 
soul  be  with  the  souls  of  such  men,  in  what- 
ever ecclesiastical  connection  they  may  be 

M  M  ^  B  ^ 


RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER.  13 

found,  and  by  whatever  name  they  may  be 
called!  If  the  inspired  Apostle  Paul  presich.- 
ed  the  true  Gospel,  these  men  preached  it, 
for  their  language  and  spirit  are  all  as  exactly 
his,  as  if  he  spoke  by  them.  The  remark  made, 
many  years  since,  in  regard  to  their  great 
predecessor,  the  celebrated  George  White- 
field,  of  the  same  ecclesiastical  connection 
with  them,  applies  here  with  equal  force. 
More  than  seventy  years  ago,  while  that 
"  prince  of  preachers  "  was  daily  address- 
ing admiring  crowds  in  the  city  of  Phila- 
delphia, a  group  of  his  opposers  was  seated 
in  the  Coffee-house  in  that  city,  listening  to 
an  animated  harangue  of  Mr.  P.  who  sus- 
tained an  important  office,  and  a  high  secu- 
lar character.  He  was  loading  the  person 
and  the  ministry  of  Mr.  Whitefield  with 
abuse,  and  warning  his  hearers  against  his 
alleged  errors  and  fanaticism.  In  the  midst 
of  this  harangue.  Dr.  Chovet,  an  eminent 
physician,  but  a  bold  and  profane  infidel,  en- 
tered the  Coffee-house,  and,  after  listening 
for  a  few  minutes  to  the  violent  language  of 
the  speaker,  broke  out  upon  him  in  the  fol- 
lowing homely  but  pointed  style  :  "  P.  I  am 
surprised  at  you !   You  profess  to  believe  the 


14  RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER. 

New  Testament.  Now  I  do  not;  but  you 
do.  I  am  amazed  that  you  can  speak  as  you 
are  doing  against  a  man  who  preaches  as 
Whitejield  does.  I  do  not  undertake  to  de- 
cide who  is  right  and  who  is  wrong,  for  I 
consider  it  all  as  a  fable;  but  if  the  Apostle 
Paul  was  right,  Whitejield  is  right,  for  he 
preaches  as  much  like  him  as  if  Paul  had 
spit  him  out  of  his  mouth."  The  verdict  of 
the  coarse  and  blunt  infidel  was  undoubtedly 
correct.  I  can  never  open  the  pages  of  Scott, 
or  those  of  the  affectionate  friends,  contem- 
porary with  him,  already  named,  without 
feeling  confident  that,  if  the  holy  Apostle  of 
the  Gentiles  were  now  to  rise  from  the  dead, 
and  revisit  our  earth,  he  would,  without  hesi- 
tation, recognize  them  as  sincere  and  enlight- 
ened fellow-disciples,  and  fellow-workers  in 
the  cause  of  their  common  Master. 

It  is  no  doubt  true,  that  the  doctrines 
usually  denominated  Calvinistic,  which  JDr, 
Scott  slowly,  but  firmly  embraced,  are  every 
where  unpopular,  and  ever  will  be  so  as 
long  as  human  nature  remains  what  it  is. 
All  men  are  by  nature  proud  and  self-right- 
eous, and  whenever  their  minds  are  turned 
towards  the  great  question  concerning  the 


RECOMMENDATORY   LETTER.  15 

way  of  salvation,  they  are  prone  to  imagine, 
that  they  can,  in  part,  at  least,  if  not  in  whole, 
save  themselves.  When,  therefore,  they  hear 
doctrines  proclaimed  which  lay  the  sinner  in 
the  dust  before  God,  and  ascribe  all  the  glory 
of  his  salvation,  from  first  to  last,  to  the 
merit  and  power  of  Christ ;  when  they  hear 
it  maintained,  that  "  by  the  works  of  the  law 
shall  no  flesh  hving  be  justified,"  but  that 
we  are  "justified  freely  by  the  grace  of  God, 
through  the  redemption  that  is  in  Christ 
Jesus,"  they  are  offended.  They  cannot  con- 
sent utterly  to  renounce  their  own  merit  and 
strength,  and  to  accept  of  salvation  as  a  mere 
gift  of  free  and  sovereign  grace.  "The  car- 
nal mind  is  enmity  against  God;  for  it  is  not 
subject  to  the  law  of  God,  neither  indeed  can 
be."  Almost  every  where,  then,  the  popu- 
lar voice  is  against  the  genuine  doctrines  of 
the  Gospel ;  and  if  the  question,  whether  they 
are  true  or  not,  were  put  to  vote  before  the 
mass  of  society,  the  decision  would  probably 
be  two  to  one,  if  not  three  or  four  to  one 
against  them.  If  the  Bible  be  true,  the  hu- 
man heart  is  on  the  side  of  error.  We  are 
all,  by  nature,  Pelagians,ox  semi- Pelagians, 


16  RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER. 

until  the  grace  of  God  teaches  us  better. 
This  fact,  however,  instead  of  being  a  solid 
objection  to  the  doctrines  in  question,  ob- 
viously furnishes  one  out  of  many  proofs  that 
they  are  of  God.  For  the  word  of  God  every 
where  declares  that  ^'  the  truth  as  it  is  in 
Jesus,"  is  distasteful  to  the  carnal  heart; 
that  to  the  children  of  this  world  it  is  every 
where  a  "  stumbUng  block  and  foolishness." 
Of  course,  if  the  doctrines  for  which  we  plead 
were  generally  acceptable  and  popular  among 
the  unrenewed  and  worldly,  it  would  show 
conclusively  that  they  were  not  such  as  the 
apostles  preached. 

D7\  Scott  found  this  attestation  given  to 
his  new  creed,  as  soon  as  his  having  em- 
braced it  was  made  known.  The  great  ma- 
jority of  his  early  friends  and  acquaintances, 
especially  the  wealthy,  the  refined,  the  ho- 
nourable, almost  with  one  voice  condemned 
it,  and  considered  him  as  a  sort  of  degraded 
man.  Only  a  small  number,  and  those  by  no 
means  among  the  world's  favourites,  felt  pre- 
pared to  approve  the  change,  and  to  bid  him 
"God  speed."  So  it  was  in  the  beginning; 
so  it  is  now;  and  so  it  ever  will  be,  as  long 


RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER.  17 

as  man  is  by  nature  an  "alien  from  the 
commonwealth  of  Israel,  and  a  stranger  to 
the  covenant  of  promise." 

It  is  generally  known  that  the  brother  in 
the  ministry  with  whom  Mr.  Scott  corres- 
ponded, while  his  mind  was  undergoing  that 
conflict  which  issued  in  his  conversion,  was 
the  venerable  John  Newton,  whose  works 
have  been  so  eminently  popular  and  useful 
among  the  friends  of  vital  piety.  This  cor- 
respondence undoubtedly  had  no  small  in- 
fluence among  the  means  which  were  blessed 
to  the  benefit  of  Mr.  Scott.  In  most  of  the 
editions  of  "  The  Force  of  Truth"  which  I 
have  seen,  the  name  of  Mr.  Newton  is  not 
given.  I  hope,  if  your  committee  should 
concur  with  me  in  judging  that  this  work 
ought  to  be  made  one  of  the  standing  publi- 
cations of  our  Board,  that  they  will  introduce 
that  venerated  name  at  full  length  in  its 
proper  place.  I  can  think  of  no  good  reason 
why  it  should  any  longer  be  withheld. 

It  is  an  interesting  fact  in  the  history  of  the 
following  "  Narrative,"  that,  in  drawing  it 
up,  the  author  consulted  William  Cowper, 
the  celebrated  English  poet,  his  friend,  and, 
at  that  time,  his  neighbour.  The  eminent 
2 


18  RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER. 

talents,  the  ardent  piety,  and  the  deplorable 
mental  sufferings  of  that  great  and  good  man, 
from  a  morbid  physical  constitution,  are  well 
known  to  every  admirer  of  genius  where  the 
English  language  is  spoken.  That  he  gave 
to  this  work  his  friendly  supervision;  that  he 
advised  in  regard  to  its  style  and  arrange- 
ment; and  that  he  gave  to  the  whole  his  cor- 
dial imprimatur,  will  be  regarded  with  in- 
terest by  every  intelligent  reader. 

One  suggestion  more.  Allow  me  to  re- 
commend that  the  eight  letters  of  Mr.  New- 
ton, addressed  to  Mr.  Scott,  while  he  was 
anxious  and  inquiring,  be  added  at  the  end 
of  the  volume.  They  are  so  excellent,  both 
in  matter  and  manner,  that  they  are  well 
worthy  of  accompanying  the  narrative  with 
which  they  were,  historically,  so  closely  con- 
nected. They  may  be,  in  a  few  cases,  in  a 
small  degree  abridged,  if  there  be  a  fear  of 
swelling  the  volume  too  much.  I  am  per- 
suaded that  all  its  readers  will  thank  you  for 
the  addition.  Scarcely  any  religious  -letter- 
writer  ever  exceeded  Mr.  Newton.  ^  Ttiose  in 
question,  in  particular,  have  one  excellence 
which  renders  them  a  model  in  this  class  of 
writings.     Forty-nine  fiftieths  of  all  the  con- 


RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER.  19 

troversial  writings  on  the  subject  of  religion, 
that  I  have  ever  met  with,  in  the  course  of  a 
long  life,  have  been  by  far  too  polemical  in 
their  language  and  spirit.  That  is,  they  too 
often  reminded  the  reader,  however  decent, 
and  even  polite  the  style,  of  "  the  tug  of  war." 
JNewton  had  the  rare  talent  of  arguing  with 
an  errorist  with  so  much  paternal  benigni- 
ty, as  well  as  force,  and  of  conducting  all  his 
controversial  arguments  with  such  constant 
practical  appeals  to  the  heart,  as  entirely  to 
disarm  the  polemical  spirit.  This  is  a  happy 
art;  or  rather,  Ishould  say,  a  precious  gift  of 
grace,  which  nothing  but  a  large  measure  of 
the  Spirit  of  Christ  can  enable  any  man  with 
entire  success  to  exhibit.  We  are  never  so 
likely  to  convince  and  win  an  adversary,  as 
when  we  can  so  address  him  as  to  make  him 
forget  that  we  are  arguing  against  him,  and 
'Open  his  whole  heart  to  our  affectionate 
appeals.  Newton  had  this  talent  in  as  great 
a  degree  as  almost  any  man  ever  had. 

Dr.  Scott YiB.^  given  a  very  satisfactory  note 
in  regard  to  the  popular  use  of  the  name 
Methodist,  as  a  term  of  reproach  in  England. 
If  our  reading  population  were  as  familiar 
with  the  state  of  things  there  as  here,  nothing 


20  RECOMMENDATORY    LETTER, 

more  would  be  necessary;  but  as  they  cannot 
be  supposed  to  be,  I  will  take  the  liberty  of 
adding  one  word  of  caution.  In  this  country 
the  name  Methodist  is  never  applied  to  any 
other  religious  denomination  than  that  which 
was  originally  founded  by  the  Rev.  John 
Wesley.  Whereas,  in  England,  this  name 
is  applied,  not  merely  to  the  Wesley  an  body, 
but  also  to  all  ministers  and  members  ever  so 
closely  connected  with  the  established  church, 
who  hold  evangelical  sentiments,  and  con- 
tend for  the  reality  and  necessity  of  heart  re- 
ligion. Dr.  Scott  had  no  connection  with 
the  Wesleyan  Methodists.  He  was  as  much 
opposed  to  their  Arminianism  as  any  Calvin- 
ist  in  the  land.  Still,  in  that  country,  where 
the  name  in  its  popular  application,  is  gene- 
ric, rather  than  specific,  he  was  constantly 
reproached  as  being  a  Methodist. 

Persuaded  that  you  will  concur  with  me 
in  my  general  estimate  of  this  work,  and 
hoping  that  you  will  be  disposed  to  adopt  it 
as  one  in  your  catalogue  of  publications, 
I  am,  reverend  and  dear  sir. 

Your  brother  in  Christ, 

Samuel  Miller. 

Princeton,  Jan.  12,  1841. 


THE  FORCE  OF  TRUTH. 


PART  I. 

Giving  an  account  of  the  state  of  the  author's  mind  and 
conscience,  previous  to,  and  at  the  commencement  of 
that  change,  whereof  he  purposes  to  give  the  history. 

Notwithstanding  that  !  was  not  educated 
in  what  is  commonly  considered  as  ignorance 
of  God  and  religion;  yet,  until  the  sixteenth 
year  of  my  age,  I  do  not  remember  that  I 
ever  was  under  any  serious  conviction  of  my 
being  a  sinner,  in  danger  ofwrath,  orinneed 
of  mercy;  nor  did  I  ever,  during  this  part  of 
my  life,  that  I  recollect,  offer  one  hearty 
prayer  to  God  in  secret.  Being  alienated 
from  God,  thraugh  the  ignorance  that  was 
in  me,  I  lived  without  him  in  the  world: 
and  as  utterly  neglected  to  pay  him  any  vol- 
untary service,  as  if  I  had  been  an  atheist  in 
principle. 

But  about  my  sixteenth  year  I  began  to 
see  that  I  was  a  sinner  ;  a  leper  in  every  part, 
"there  being  no  health  in  me  ;"  out  of  many 
external  indications  of  inward  depravity,  con- 
science discovered,  and  reproached  me  with 
one;  and  I  was,  for  the  first  time,  disquieted 
3 


26  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

with  apprehensions  of  the  wrath  of  an  of- 
fended God.  My  attendance  at  the  Lord's 
table  being  expected  about  the  same  time, 
(though  I  was  very  ignorant  of  the  meaning 
and  end  of  that  sacred  ordinance,)  this  cir- 
cumstance, united  with  the  accusations  of  my 
conscience,  brought  an  awe  upon  my  spirits, 
and  interrupted  my  before  undisturbed  course 
of  sin. 

Being,  however,  an  utter  stranger  to  the 
depravity  and  helplessness  of  fallen  nature, 
I  had  no  doubt  but  I  could  amend  my  hfe 
whenever  I  pleased.  Previous,  therefore,  to 
communicating,  I  set  about  an  unwilling  re- 
formation ;  and  procuring  a  form  of  prayer, 
I  attempted  to  pay  my  secret  addresses  to  the 
Majesty  of  Heaven.  In  this  manner  having 
silenced  my  conscience,  I  partook  of  the  or- 
dinance, held  my  resolutions,  and  continued 
my  devotions,  such  as  they  were,  for  a  little 
space :  but  they  were  a  weariness  and  a  task 
to  me ;  and  temptations  soon  returning,  I  re- 
lapsed  ;  my  prayer  book  was  thrown  aside, 
and  no  more  thought  of,  till  my  conscience 
was  again  alarmed  by  the  next  warning  giv- 
en for  the  celebration  of  the  Lord's  supper. 
Then  the  same  ground  was  gone  over  again, 
and  with  the  same  issue.  My  goodness  was 
like  the  morning  dew,  that  passeth  away; 
and  loving  sin,  and  disrelishing  religious  du- 
ties as  much  as  ever,  I  returned,  as  the  sow 
that  is  washed,  to  her  wallowing  in  the  mire. 

With  little  variation,  this  was  my  course 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        27 

of  life  for  nine  years:  but  in  that  time  I  had 
such  experience  of  my  own  weakness,  and 
the  superior  force  of  temptation,  that  I  secret- 
ly concluded  reformation  in  my  case  to  be 
impracticable.  "  Can  the  Ethiopian  change 
his  skin,  or  the  leopard  his  spots  ?"  I  was 
experimentally  convinced  that  I  was  equally 
unable,  with  the  feeble  barrier  of  resolutions 
and  endeavours,  to  stem  the  torrent  of  my 
impetuous  inclinations,  when  swelled  by 
welcome,  suitable,  and  powerful  tempta- 
tions; and  being  ignorant  that  God  had  re- 
served this  to  himself  as  his  own  work,  and 
had  engaged  to  do  it  for  the  poor  sinner,  who 
feeling  his  own  insufficiency,  is  heartily  de- 
sirous to  have  it  done  by  him;  I  stifled  my 
convictions  as  well  as  I  could,  and  put  off 
my  repentance  to  a  more  convenient  season. 
But  being  of  a  reflecting  turn,  and  much 
alone,  my  mind  was  almost  constantly  em- 
ployed. Aware  of  the  uncertainty  of  life, 
I  was  disquieted  with  continual  apprehen- 
sions, that  this  more  convenient  season  would 
never  arrive  ;  especially,  as  through  an  un- 
confirmed state  of  health,  I  had  many  warn- 
ings, and  near  prospects  of  death  and  eter- 
nity. For  a  long  time  I  entertained  no  doubt, 
but  that  impenitent  sinners  would  be  misera- 
ble for  ever  in  hell;  and  at  some  seasons  such 
amazing  reflections  upon  this  awful  subject 
forced  themselves  into  my  mind,  that  I  was 
overpowered  with  them,  and  my  fears  be- 
came intolerable.     At  such  times  my  extem- 


28  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

pore  cries  for  mercy  were  so  wrestling  and 
persevering,  that  I  was  scarcely  able  to  give 
over;  though  at  other  times  I  lived  without 
prayer  of  any  sort;  yet,  in  my  darkest  hours, 
though  my  conscience  was  awakened  to  dis- 
cover more  and  more  sinfulness  in  my  whole 
behaviour,  there  remained  a  hope  that  I 
should  one  day  repent  and  turn  unto  God.  If 
this  hope  was  from  myself,  it  was  a  horrid 
presumption,  but  the  event  makes  me  willing 
to  acknowledge  a  persuasion  that  it  was  from 
the  Lord;  for  had  it  not  been  for  this  hope,  I 
should  probably  have  given  way  to  tempta- 
tions, which  frequently  assaulted  me,  of  put- 
ting an  end  to  my  own  life,  in  proud  discon- 
tent with  my  lot  in  this  world,  and  mad  des- 
pair about  another. 

A  hymn  of  Dr.  Watts',  in  his  admirable 
little  book  for  children,  entitled,  *' The  All- 
seeing  God,"  at  this  time  fell  in  my  way;  I 
was  much  affected  with  it,  and  having  com- 
mitted it  to  memory,  was  frequently  repeat- 
ing it,  and  was  thereby  continually  remind- 
ed of  my  guilt  and  danger.  Parents  may 
from  this  inconsiderable  circumstance  be  re- 
minded, that  it  is  of  great  importance  to  store 
their  children's  minds  with  such  useful  mat- 
ter, instead  of  suffering  them  to  be  furnished 
with  such  corrupting  trash,  as  is  commonly 
taught  them.  They  know  not  what  use  God 
may  make  of  these  early  rudiments  of  in- 
struction in  future  life.  At  this  period, 
though  I  was  the  slave  of  sin,  yet  as  my  con- 


AN   AUTHENTIC    NARRATIVE.  29 

science  was  not  pacified,  nor  my  principles 
greatly  corrupted,  there  seemed  some  hope 
concerning  me  ;  but  at  length  Satan  took  a 
very  effectual  method  of  silencing  my  con- 
victions, that  I  might  sleep  securely  in  my 
sins:  and  justly  was  I  given  over  to  a  strong 
delusion  to  believe  a  lie,  when  I  held  the 
truth  that  I  did  know  in  unrighteousness.  A 
Socinian  comment  on  the  Scriptures  came  in 
my  way,  and  I  greedily  drank  the  poison  be- 
cause it  quieted  my  fears,  and  flattered  my 
abominable  pride.  The  whole  system  coin- 
cided exactly  with  my  inclinations,  and  the 
state  of  my  mind,  and  approved  itself  to  me. 
In  reading  this  exposition,  sin  seemed  to  lose 
its  native  ugliness,  and  appear  a  very  small 
and  tolerable  evil;  man's  imperfect  obedi- 
ence seemed  to  shine  with  an  almost  divine 
excellency;  and  God  appeared  so  entirely  and 
necessarily  merciful,  that  he  could  not  make 
any  of  his  creatures  miserable  without  con- 
tradicting his  natural  propensity.  These 
things  influenced  my  mind  so  powerfully, 
that  I  concluded  that  notwithstanding  a  few 
little  blemishes,  I  was,  upon  the  whole,  a 
very  worthy  creature.  Then  further  the 
mysteries  of  the  Gospel  being  explained 
away,  or  brought  down  to  the  level  of  man's 
comprehension  by  such  proud  and  corrupt, 
though  specious  reasonings ;  by  acceding  to 
these  sentiments,  I  was  in  my  own  opinion, 
in  point  of  understanding  and  discernment, 
exalted  to  a  superiority  above  the  general 


30  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

run  of  mankind ;  and  amused  myself  with 
looking  down  with  contempt  upon  such  as 
were  weak  enough  to  believe  the  orthodox 
doctrines.  Thus  I  generally  soothed  my  con- 
science: and  if  at  any  time  I  was  uneasy  at 
the  apprehension  that  I  did  not  thoroughly 
deserve,  and  was  not  entirely  fit  for  heaven, 
the  same  book  afforded  me  a  soft  pillow,  on 
which  to  lull  myself  to  sleep  ;  it  argued,  and 
I  thought  it  proved,  that  there  were  no  eter- 
nal torments ;  and  insinuated,  that  there 
were  no  torments  except  for  the  notorious 
sinners;  and  that  such  as  should  fall  just 
short  of  heaven,  would  sink  into  their  origi- 
nal nothing.  With  this  welcome  scheme  I 
silenced  all  my  fears,  and  told  my  accusing 
conscience,  that  if  I  fell  short  of  heaven,  I 
should  be  annihilated,  and  never  be  sensible 
of  my  loss. 

By  experience,  I  am  well  acquainted  with 
Satan's  intention,  in  employing  so  many  of 
his  servants  to  invent  those  pestilent  errors, 
whether  in  speculation  or  practice,  that  have 
in  all  ages  corrupted  and  enervated  the  pure 
and  powerful  doctrine  of  the  Gospel;  for 
they  lead  to  forgetfuhiess  of  God,  and  secu- 
rity in  sin,  and  are  deadly  poison  to  every 
soul  that  imbibes  them,  unless  a  miracle  of 
grace  prevent.  Such,  on  one  hand,  are  all 
the  superstitious  doctrines  of  popery,  pur- 
gatory, penances,  absolutions,  indulgences, 
merits  of  good  works,  and  the  acceptable- 
ness  of  will-worship,  and  uncommanded  ob- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         31 

servances ;  what  are  these  but  engines  of 
the  devil,  to  keep  men  quiet  in  their  sins  ? 
Man,  resolved  to  follow  the  dictates  of  his 
depraved  inclination,  and  not  to  bound  his 
pursuits  and  enjoyments  within  the  limits 
of  God's  holy  law,  catches  at  any  thing  to 
soften  the  horrible  thought  of  eternal  misery. 
This  is  the  awakening  reflection,  God's  sword 
in  the  conscience,  which  'tis  Satan's  business, 
by  all  his  diabolical  artifice,  to  endeavour  to 
sheath,  blunt,  or  turn  aside;  knowing,  that 
whilst  the  alarming  apprehension  is  present 
to  the  soul,  he  can  never  maintain  his  pos- 
session of  it  in  peace.  By  such  inventions, 
therefore,  as  these,  he  takes  care  to  furnish 
the  sinner  with  that  which  he  seeks  for,  and 
to  enable  him  to  walk  according  to  the  course 
of  this  wicked  world,  and  the  desires  of  de- 
praved nature,  without  being  disturbed  by 
such  dreadful  thoughts.  The  same,  on  the 
other  hand,  is  the  tendency  of  all  those  spe- 
culations of  reasoning  men,  which  sets  God's 
attributes  at  variance  with  each  other ;  which 
represent  the  Supreme  Governor  so  iveakly 
merciful,  as  neither  to  regard  the  demands 
of  his  justice,  the  glory  of  his  holiness,  the 
veracity  of  his  word,  nor  the  peaceable  order 
and  subordination  of  the  universe;  which  ex- 
plain away  all  the  mysteries  of  the  Gospel; 
and  represent  sin,  that  fruitful  root  of  evil, 
that  enemy  of  God,  that  favourite  of  Satan, 
as  a  very  little  thing,  scarcely  noticed  by  the 
Almighty;  and  which,  contrary  to  Scripture, 


32  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

and  universal  experience  and  observation, 
would  persuade  us,  that  man  is  not  a  depra- 
ved creature. 

These  latter  sentiments  I  acceded  to,  and 
maintained  as  long  as  I  could;  and  I  did  it, 
most  assuredly,  because  they  soothed  my 
conscience,  freed  me  from  the  pressing  fears 
of  damnation,  and  enabled  me  to  think  fa- 
vourably of  myself.  For  these  reasons  alone 
I  loved,  and  chose  this  ground;  1  fixed  my- 
self upon  it,  and  there  I  fortified  myself  with 
all  the  arguments  and  reasonings  I  could 
meet  with.  These  things  I  wished  to  be- 
lieve; and  I  had  my  wish;  for  at  length  I 
did  most  confidently  believe  them.  Being 
taken  captive  in  this  snare  by  Satan,  I  should 
here  have  perished  with  a  lie  in  my  right 
hand,  had  not  that  Lord,  whom  I  dishonour- 
ed, snatched  me  as  a  brand  from  the  burning. 

In  this  state  of  mind  I  attempted  to  ob- 
tain admission  into  holy  orders.  Wrapped  up 
in  the  proud  notion  of  the  dignity  of  human 
nature,  I  had  lost  sight  of  the  evil  of  sin,  and 
thought  little  of  my  own  sinfulness;  I  was 
filled  with  a  self-important  opinion  of  my 
own  worth,  and  the  depth  of  my  understand- 
ing; I  had  adopted  a  system  of  religion,  ac- 
commodated to  that  foolish  pride,  having 
almost  wholly  discarded  mysteries  from  my 
creed,  and  regarding  with  sovereign  contempt 
those  who  believed  them.  As  far  as  I  un- 
derstood those  controversies,  I  was  nearly  a 
Socinian,  and  a  Pelagian,  and  wholly  an  Ar- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        33 

minian;  yet,  to  my  shame  be  it  spoken,  I 
sought  to  obtain  admission  into  the  ministry, 
in  a  church  whose  doctrines  are  diametrical- 
ly opposed  to  all  the  three;  without  once  con- 
cerning myself  about  those  barriers,  which 
the  wisdom  of  our  forefathers  have  placed 
about  her,  purposely  to  prevent  the  intrusion 
of  such  dangerous  heretics  as  I  then  was. 

Whilst  I  was  preparing  for  this  solemn 
office,  I  lived,  as  before,  in  known  sin,  and 
in  utter  neglect  of  prayer :  my  whole  pre- 
paration consisting  of  nothing  else  but  an 
attention  to  those  studies  which  were  more 
immediately  required,  for  my  reputably  pass- 
ing through  the  previous  examination. 

And  thus  after  some  difficulty,  with  a  heart 
full  of  pride,  and  all  manner  of  wickedness, 
my  life  being  polluted  with  many  unrepent- 
ed,  unforsaken  sins,  without  one  cry  for  mer- 
cy, one  prayer  for  direction,  or  assistance  in, 
or  a  blessing  upon  what  I  was  about  to  do; 
after  having  concealed  my  real  sentiments 
under  the  mask  of  general  expressions;  after 
having  subscribed  articles  directly  contrary 
to  my  then  belief;  and  after  having  blas- 
phemously declared  in  the  presence  of  God 
and  of  the  congregation,  in  the  most  solemn 
manner,  sealing  it  with  the  Lord's  supper, 
that  I  judged  myself  to  be  inwardly  moved 
by  the  Holy  Ghost  to  take  this  office  upon 
me,  (not  knowing  or  believing  that  there  was 
a  Holy  Ghost,)  on  September  the  20th,  1772, 
I  was  ordained  a  deacon.     For  ever  blessed 


34  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

be  the  God  of  all  long  suffering  and  mercy, 
who  had  patience  with  such  a  rebel  and 
blasphemer,  such  an  irreverent  trifler  with 
his  majesty,  and  such  a  presumptuous  intru- 
der into  his  sacred  ministry  !  I  never  think  of 
this  daring  wickedness  without  being  filled 
with  amazement  that  I  am  out  of  hell  j  with- 
out adoring  that  gracious  God,  who  permit- 
ted such  an  atrocious  sinner  to  live,  yea,  to 
serve  him,  and  with  acceptance,  I  trust,  to 
call  him  Father,  and  as  his  minister  to  speak 
in  his  name.  "Praise  the  Lord,  0  my  soul, 
and  all  that  is  within  me,  bless  his  holy  name  ; 
Praise  the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  forget  not 
all  his  benefits ;  who  forgiveth  all  my  sins, 
and  healeth  all  thy  infirmities;  who  saveth 
thy  life  from  destruction,  and  crowneth  me 
with  mercy  and  loving  kindness."  May  I 
love  much,  and  very  humbly  and  devotedly 
serve  that  God  who  has  multiplied  his  mer- 
cies, in  abundantly  pardoning  my  complicated 
provocations  ! 

My  views  in  entering  into  the  ministry,  as 
far  as  I  can  ascertain  them,  were  these  three  : 
I.  A  desire  of  a  less  laborious  and  more  com- 
fortable way  of  procuring  a  livelihood,  than 
otherwise  I  had  a  prospect  of. — 2.  The  ex- 
pectation of  more  leisure  to  employ  in  read- 
ing, of  which  I  was  inordinately  fond. — And, 
3.  A  proud  conceit  of  my  abilities,  and  a  vain- 
glorious imagination,  that  I  should  some  time 
distinguish  and  advance  myself  in  the  literary 
world.     These  were  my  ruling  motives  in 


AN   AUTHENTIC    NARRATIVE.  35 

taking  this  bold  step:  motives  as  opposite  to 
those  which  should  have  influence  therein, 
as  pride  is  opposite  to  humility  ;  ambition  to 
contentedness  in  a  low  estate,  and  a  willing- 
ness to  be  the  least  of  all,  and  the  servant  of 
all ;  as  opposite  as  love  of  self,  of  the  world, 
of  filthy  lucre,  and  slothful  ease,  is  opposite 
to  the  love  of  God,  and  of  souls,  and  of  the 
laborious  work  of  the  ministry.  Mine,  there- 
fore be  the  shame  of  this  heinous  sin ;  and  to 
God  be  all  the  glory  of  overruling  it  for  good, 
I  trust  both  to  unworthy  me,  and  to  his 
dear  people,  the  church,  which  he  hath  pur- 
chased with  his  own  blood. 

My  subsequent  conduct  was  suitable  to 
these  motives.  No  sooner  was  I  fixed  in  a 
curacy,  than  with  close  application  I  sat 
down  to  the  study  of  the  learned  languages, 
and  such  other  matters  as  I  considered  most 
needful,  in  order  to  lay  the  foundation  of  my 
future  advancement.  And  would  I  were  now 
as  diligent  in  serving  God,  as  I  was  then  in 
serving  self  and  ambition!  I  spared  no  pains; 
I  shunned,  as  much  as  I  well  could,  all  ac- 
quaintance and  diversions;  and  I  retrenched 
upon  my  usual  hours  of  sleep,  that  I  might 
keep  more  closely  to  this  business.  As  a 
minister,  I  attended  just  enough  to  the  public 
duties  of  my  station  to  support  a  decent  cha- 
racter, which  I  deemed  subservient  to  my 
main  design :  and  from  the  same  principle  I 
aimed  at  morality  in  my  outward  deport- 
ment, and  affected  seriousness  in  my  con- 


36  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  I 

versation.  As  to  the  rest,  I  still  lived  in  the 
practice  of  what  I  knew  to  be  sinful,  and  in 
the  entire  neglect  of  all  secret  religion  :  If 
ever  inclined  to  pray,  conscious  guilt  stopped 
my  mouth,  and  I  seldom  went  further  than 
''  God  be  merciful  unto  me."  However, 
perceiving  that  my  Socinian  principles  were 
very  disreputable  ;  and  being  conscious 
from  my  own  experience,  that  they  were  un- 
favourable to  morality,  I  concealed  them,  in 
a  great  measure,  both  for  my  credit's  sake, 
and  from  a  desire  I  entertained,  subservient 
to  my  main  design,  of  successfully  inculcating 
the  practice  of  the  moral  duties  upon  those 
to  whom  I  preached.  My  studies,  indeed, 
lay  very  little  in  divinity,  but  this  little  all 
opposed  that  part  of  my  scheme  which  re- 
spected the  punishment  of  the  wicked  in  the 
other  world;  and,  therefore,  (being  now  re- 
moved at  a  distance  from  those  authors 
whence  I  had  imbibed  my  sentiments,  and 
from  whose  reasonings  I  had  learned  to  de- 
fend them,)  I  began  gradually  to  be  shaken 
in  my  former  confidence,  and  once  more  to 
be  under  some  apprehensions  of  eternal  mise- 
ry. Being  also  statedly  employed,  and  with 
the  appearance  of  solemnity,  in  the  public 
worship  of  God,  whilst  I  neglected  and  pro- 
voked him  in  secret ;  my  conscience  clamor- 
ously reproached  me  with  base  hypocrisy, 
and  I  began  to  conclude,  that  if  eternal  tor- 
ments were  reserved  for  any  sinners,  I  cer- 
tainly should  be  one  of  the  number.     And 


AN   AUTHENTIC    NARRATIVE.  37 

now  again  I  was  filled  with  anxious  fears 
and  terrifying  alarms  ;  especially  as  I  was 
continually  meditating  upon  what  might  be 
the  awful  consequence,  should  I  be  called 
hence  by  sudden  death.  Even  my  close  ap- 
plication to  study  could  not  soothe  my  con- 
science, nor  quiet  my  fears  :  under  the  affect- 
ed air  of  cheerfulness,  I  was  truly  miserable. 
This  was  my  state  of  mind  when  the  change 
I  am  about  to  relate,  began  to  take  place. 
How  it  commenced,  in  what  manner,  and  by 
what  steps  it  proceeded,  and  how  it  was 
completed,  will  be  the  subject  of  the  second 
part  of  this  work.  This  first  part  I  shall  con- 
clude by  observing,  that  though  I  was  stag- 
gered in  my  favourite  sentiment  before  men- 
tioned, and  in  my  views  of  the  person  of 
Christ,  was  verging  toward  Arianism;  yet 
in  my  other  opinions  I  was  more  confirmed 
than  ever.  What  those  opinions  were,  I 
have  already  in  brief  declared  ;  and  they  will 
occur  again,  and  be  more  fully  explained,  as 
I  proceed  to  relate  the  manner  in  which  I 
was  constrained  to  renounce  them,  one  after 
another,  and  to  accede  to  those  that  were  di- 
rectly contrary  thereto.  Let  it  suffice  to  say, 
that  I  was  brim  full  of  proud  self  sufficiency, 
very  positive,  and  very  obstinate:  and  being 
situated  in  the  neighbourhood  of  some  of 
those  whom  the  world  calls  Methodists,*  I 

*  Methodists,  as  a  stigma  of  reproach,  was  first  applied 
to  Mr.  Wesley,  Mr.  Whitfield,  and  their  followers;  to  those 
who,  though  professing  an  attachment  to  our  established 


38  THE   FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

joined  in  the  prevailing  sentiment,  held  them 
in  sovereign  contempt,  spoke  of  them  in  de- 
rision, declaimed  against  them  from  the  pul- 
pit, as  persons  full  of  bigotry,  enthusiasm  and 
spiritual  pride ;  laid  heavy  things  to  their 
charge,  and  endeavoured  to  prove  the  doc- 
trines which  I  supposed  them  to  hold,  (for  I 
had  never  read  their  books,)  to  be  dishonour- 
able to  God,  and  destructive  to  morality. 
And  though  in  some  companies  I  chose  to 
conceal  some  part  of  my  sentiments,  and  in 
all  affected  to  speak  as  a  friend  to  universal 
toleration ;  yet  scarce  any  person  could  be 
moreproudly  and  violently  prejudiced  against 
both  their  persons  and  principles. 

church,  and  disclaiming  the  name  of  Dissenters,  were  not 
conformists  in  point  of  parochial  order,  but  had  separate 
seasons,  places,  and  assemblies  for  worship.  The  term 
has  since  been  extended  by  many  to  ail  persons,  whether 
clergy  or  laity,  who  preach  or  profess  the  doctrines  of  the 
reformation,  as  expressed  in  the  articles  and  liturgy  of  our 
church.  For  this  fault  they  must  all  submit  to  bear  the 
reproachful  name  alike,  especially  the  ministers  ;  nor  will 
the  most  regular  and  peaceable  compliance  with  the  in- 
junctions of  the  rubric,  exempt  them  from  it,  if  they  avow  the 
authorized,  but  now  exploded  doctrines  to  which  they  have 
subscribed.  My  acquaintance  hitherto  has  been  only  with 
Methodists  of  this  latter  description :  and  I  have  them  only 
in  view,  whenever  I  use  the  term. 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        39 


PART  II. 


Containing  a  history  of  this  change  :  the  manner  in  which, 
and  the  means  bj  which  it  was  at  length  effected. 


In  JanuarVj  1774,  two  of  my  parishioners,  a 
man  and  his  wife,  lay  at  the  point  of  death. 
I  had  heard  of  it,  but  according  to  my  gene- 
ral custom,  not  being  sent  for,  I  took  no 
notice  of  it :  but  one  evening,  the  woman 
being  already  dead,  and  the  man  dying,  I 

heard   that  my  neighbour,   Mr.  ,  had 

been  several  times  to  visit  (hem.  Immedi- 
ately my  conscience  reproached  me  with  be- 
ing shamefully  neghgent,  in  sitting  at  home 
within  a  few  doors  of  dying  persons,  my  ge- 
neral hearers,  and  never  going  to  visit  them. 
Directly  it  occurred  to  me,  that  whatever 
contempt  I  might  have  for  Mr. 's  doc- 
trines, I  must  acknowledge  his  practice  to  be 
more  consistent  with  the  ministerial  charac- 
ter than  mine.  He  must  have  more  zeal  and 
love  for  souls  than  I  had,  or  he  would  not 
have  walked  so  far  to  visit  and  supply  my 
lack  of  care  to  those  who,  as  far  as  I  was 
concerned,  might  have  been  left  to  perish  in 
their  sins. 

This  reflection  aff"ected  m.e  so  much,  that 
earnestly,  yea,  with  tears  and  without  delay, 


40 


THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 


I  besought  the  Lord  to  forgive  my  past  neg- 
lect ;  and  resolved  thenceforth  to  be  more 
attentive  to  this  duty  :  which  resolution, 
though  at  first  formed  in  ignorant  depen- 
dence on  my  own  strength,  I  have  by  divine 
grace  been  enabled  hitherto  to  keep.  Imme- 
diately I  went  to  visit  the  survivor ;  and  the 
affecting  sight  of  one  person  already  dead, 
and  another  expiring  in  the  same  chamber, 
served  more  deeply  to  impress  my  serious 
convictions  ;  and  from  that  time  I  have  con- 
stantly visited  the  sick  of  my  parishes,  as 
far  as  I  had  opportunity;  and  have  endea- 
voured, to  the  best  of  my  knowledge,  to  per- 
form that  essential  part  of  a  parish  minister's 
duty. 

Some  time  after  this,  a  friend  recommend- 
ed to  my  perusal  the  conclusion  of  Bishop 
Burnet's  History  of  His  Own  Times,  espe- 
cially that  part  which  respects  the  clergy. 
It  had  the  intended  effect :  I  was  considera- 
bly instructed  and  impressed  thereby ;  I  was 
convinced,  that  my  entrance  into  the  ministry 
had  been  the  result  of  very  wrong  motives, 
was  preceded  with  a  very  unsuitable  prepa- 
ration, and  accompanied  with  a  very  impro- 
per conduct;  some  uneasiness  was  also  ex- 
cited in  my  mind,  concerning  my  neglect  of 
the  important  duties  of  that  high  calling. — 
And  though  I  was  too  much  the  slave  of  sin, 
devoted  to  other  studies,  and  in  love  with 
this  present  world,  to  relinquish  my  flattering 
pursuit  of  reputation   and  preferment,  and 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         41 

change  the  course  of  my  hfe,  studies,  and 
employments:  yet  I  experienced,  by  inter- 
vals, desires,  and  purposes,  at  some  future 
period  of  devoting  myself  wholly  to  the  work 
of  the  ministry,  in  the  manner  to  which  he 
exhorts  the  clergy. 

All  these  things  increased  the  clamorous 
remonstrances  of  my  conscience;  and  at  this 
time  I  lived  without  any  secret  religion,  be- 
cause, without  some  reformation  in  my  con- 
duct as  a  man  and  a  minister,  I  did  not  dare 
to  pray.  My  convictions  would  no  longer  be 
silenced  or  appeased;  and  they  became  so 
intolerably  troublesome,  that  I  resolved  to 
make  one  more  effort  toward  amendment. 
In  good  earnest,  and  not  totally  without  seek- 
ing the  assistance  of  the  Lord  by  prayer,  I 
attempted  to  break  the  chains  wherewith 
Satan  had  hitherto  held  my  soul  in  bondage. 
It  pleased  the  Lord,  that  I  at  this  time  should 
obtain  some  advantages;  part  of  my  grosser 
defilements  I  was  enabled  to  relinquish,  and 
to  enter  upon  a  form  of  devotion.  Formal 
enough  indeed  it  was;  for  I  neither  knew  that 
Mediator,  through  whom,  nor  that  Spirit,  by 
whom,  prayers  are  offered  with  acceptance 
to  God;  and  yet,  though  utterly  in  the  dark 
as  to  the  true  and  living  way  to  the  throne 
of  grace,  lam  persuaded,  there  were  even 
then  seasons,  when  I  was  enabled  to  rise 
above  a  mere  form,  and  to  offer  petitions  so 
far  spiritual,  as  to  be  accepted  and  an 
swered. 

4 


42  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH.* 

I  was  now  somewhat  reformed  in  my  out- 
ward conduct ;  but  the  renewing  in  the  spirit 
of  my  mind,  if  begun,  was  scarce  discerni- 
ble. As  my  life  was,  in  my  own  judgment, 
less  wicked,  my  heart  grew  more  proud  ; — 
the  idol  self  was  the  object  of  my  adoration 
and  obeisance ;  my  worldly  advancement 
was  more  eagerly  sought  than  ever ;  some 
flattering  prospects  seemed  to  open,  and  I 
resolved  to  improve  my  advantage  to  the 
uttermost.  At  the  same  time  every  thing 
tended  to  increase  my  good  opinion  of  my- 
self; I  was  treated  with  kindness  and  friend- 
ship, by  persons,  from  whom  I  had  no  reason 
to  expect  it;  my  preaching  was  well  re- 
ceived ;  my  acquaintance  seemed  to  be  court- 
ed; my  foolish  heart  verily  believed,  that  all 
this,  and  much  more,  was  due  to  my  superi- 
or worth  ;  whilst  conscience,  which  before,  by 
its  mortifying  accusations  was  useful  to  pre- 
serve some  sense  of  unworthiness  in  my 
mind,  was  now  silenced,  or  seem.ed  to  author- 
ize that  pride,  which  before  it  checked.  And 
because  I  had  the  disadvantage  of  convers- 
ing in  general  with  such  persons,  as  either 
favoured  my  sentiments ;  or  out  of  good  man- 
ners, or  because  they  saw  it  would  be  in 
vain,  would  not  contradict  me  ;  I  concluded 
that  my  scheme  of  doctrine  was  the  exact 
standard  of  truth,  and  that  by  my  superior 
abilities  I  was  capable  of  confuting  or  con- 
vincing all,  who  were  otherwise  minded.  In 
this  view  of  the  matter,  I  felt  an  eager  desire 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        43 

of  entering  into  a  religious  controversy,  espe- 
cially with  a  Calvinist. 

It  was  at  this  time  that  my  correspond- 
ence Avith  Mr. *  commenced.     At  the 

visitation,  May,  1775,  we  exchanged  a  few 
words  in  an  argumentative  way,  in  the  room 
among  the  clergy,  which  I  believe  drew 
many  eyes  upon  us.  At  that  time  he  pru- 
dently declined  the  discourse,  but  a  day  or 
two  after  sent  me  a  short  note,  and  a  little 
book  for  my.  perusal.  This  was  the  very 
thing  I  wanted,  and  I  gladly  embraced  the 
opportunity,  which,  according  to  my  wishes, 
seemed  now  to  offer.  This  I  did,  God  know- 
eth,  with  no  inconsiderable  expectations,  that 
my  arguments  would  prove  irresistibly  con- 
vincing, and  that  I  should  have  the  honour  of 
rescuing  a  well-meaning  person  from  his  en- 
thusiastical  delusions. 

Indeed  at  this  time  I  had  conceived  a  very 
favourable  opinion  of,  and  sort  of  respect  for 
him ;  because  I  was  acquainted  with  the 
character  he  sustained  even  among  some  per- 
sons, who  expressed  a  disapprobation  of  his 
doctrines ;  they  were  forward  to  commend 
him  as  a  benevolent,  disinterested  and  inof- 
fensive person,  and  a  laborious  minister.  On 
the  other  hand,  I  looked  upon  his  religious 
sentiments  as  rank  fanaticism,  and  entertained 
a  very  contemptuous  opinion  of  his  abilities, 
natural  and  acquired.  Once  I  had  the  curi- 
osity to  hear  him  preach,  and  not  understand- 

*Rev.  John  Newton. 


44  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

ing  his  sermon,  I  made  a  very  great  jest  of  it, 
where  I  could  do  it  without  giving  offence. 
I  had  also  read  one  of  his  publications;  but 
for  the  same  reason,  I  thought  the  greater 
part  of  it  to  be  whimsical,  paradoxical  and 
unintelligible. 

Concealing,  therefore,  the  true  motives  of 
my  conduct  under  the  offer  of  friendship,  and 
a  professed  desire  to  know  the  truth,  (which, 
amidst  all  ray  self-sufficiency  and  prejudice, 
I  trust  the  Lord  had  even  then  given  me,) 
with  the  greatest  affectation  of  candour,  and 
a  mind  open  to  conviction,  I  wrote  him  a 
long  letter ;  purposing  to  draw  from  him  such 
an  avowal,  and  explanation  of  his  sentiments, 
as  would  introduce  a  controversial  discussion 
of  our  religious  differences. 

The  event  by  no  means  answered  my  ex- 
pectation; he  returned  me  a  very  friendly 
and  long  answer  to  my  letter;  in  which  he 
carefully  avoided  the  mention  of  those  doc- 
trines, which  he  knew  would  offend  me:  he 
declared,  that  he  believed  me  to  be  one  that 
feared  God,  and  that  was  under  the  teaching 
of  his  Holy  Spirit ;  that  he  gladly  accepted 
my  offers  of  friendship,  and  was  nowise  in- 
clined to  dictate  to  me;  but  leaving  me  to  the 
guidance  of  the  Lord,  would  be  glad,  as  occa- 
sion served,  from  time  to  time,  to  bear  testi- 
mony to  the  truths  of  the  Gospel,  and  to 
communicate  his  sentiments  unto  me,  on  any 
subject,  with  all  the  confidence  of  friendship. 

In  this  manner  our  correspondence  began, 
and  was  continued  in  the  interchange  of  nine 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        45 

or  ten  letters,  until  December  the  same  year. 
Throughout  I  held  my  purpose,  and  he  his. 
I  made  use  of  every  endeavour  to  draw  him 
into  controversy,  and  filled  my  letters  with 
definitions,  inquiries,  arguments,  objections, 
and  consequences,  and  required  explicit  an- 
swers ;  he,  on  the  other  hand,  shunned  every 
thing  controversial,  as  much  as  possible,  and 
filled  his  letters  with  the  most  useful,  and 
least  offensive  instructions;  except  that  now 
and  then  he  dropped  hints  concerning  the  ne- 
cessity, and  the  true  nature  and  efficacy  of 
faith,  and  the  manner  in  which  it  was  to  be 
sought  and  obtained ;  and  concerning  some 
other  matters,  suited,  as  he  judged,  to  help 
me  forward  in  my  inquiry  after  truth.  But 
they  much  offended  my  prejudices,  afforded 
me  matter  of  disputation,  and  at  that  time 
were  of  little  use  to  me. 

This,  however,  is  certain,  that  through 
the  whole  of  the  correspondence,  I  disputed 
with  every  argument  I  could  devise  against 
almost  every  thing  he  advanced;  was  very 
much  nettled  at  many  things  he  asserted  :  I 
read  great  part  of  his  letters,  and  some  books 
he  sent  me,  with  much  indifference  and  con- 
tempt ;  construed  his  declining  controversy 
into  an  acknowledgment  of  weakness;  and 
triumphed  in  many  companies  as  having  con- 
futed his  arguments.  And  at  the  last,  when 
I  could  not  obtain  my  end,  at  my  instance 
the  correspondence  was  dropped. 

His  letters  and  my  answers  are  now  by  me; 


46  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

and  on  a  careful  perusal  of  them,  compared 
with  all  that  I  can  recollect  concerning  this 
matter,  I  give  this  as  a  faithful  account  of 
this  correspondence,  though  different  from 
what  has  been  represented.  His  letters  will, 
I  hope,  shortly  be  made  public,  being  such  as 
promise  greater  usefulness  to  others,  than, 
through  my  proud, contentious  spirit,  I  expe- 
rienced from  them.  Mine  deserve  only  to  be 
forgotten,  except,  as  they  are  useful  to  me  to 
remind  me  what  I  was,  and  to  mortify  my 
pride ;  as  they  illustrate  my  friend's  patience 
and  candour,  in  so  long  bearing  with  my  ig- 
norance and  arrogance  ;  and  notwithstanding 
my  unteachable,  quarrelsome  temper,  con- 
tinuing his  benevolent  labours  for  my  good  ; 
and  especially  as  they  remind  me  of  the 
goodness  of  God,  who,  though  he  abominates 
and  resists  the  proud,  yet  knows  how  to 
bring  down  the  stout  heart,  not  only  by  the 
iron  rod  of  his  wrath,  but  by  the  golden  scep- 
tre of  his  grace. 

In  this  manner  our  correspondence  and 
acquaintance,  for  the  present,  were  almost 
wholly  broken  off;  for  along  time  we  seldom 
met,  and  then  only  interchanged  a  few  words 
on  general  topics  of  conversation.  Yet  all 
along  he  perseveringly  told  me,  to  my  no 
small  offence,  that  I  should  accede  one  day  to 
his  religious  principles;  that  he  had  stood  on 
my  ground,  and  that  I  should  stand  on  his ; 
and  he  constantly  informed  his  friends,  that, 
though  slowly,  I  was  surely  feeling  my  way 


AN    AUTHENTIC    NARRATIVE.  47 

to  the  knowledge  of  the  truth.  So  clearly 
could  he  discern  the  dawnnigs  of  grace  in  my 
soul,  amidst  all  the  darkness  of  depraved  na- 
ture, and  obstinate  rebellion  to  the  will  of 
God. 

This  expectation  was  principally  grounded 
on  my  conduct  in  the  folio  wing  circumstances: 
Immediately  after  the  commencement  of  our 
correspondence,  namely,  in  May,  1775,  whilst 
my  thoughts  were  much  engrossed  by  some 
hopes  of  preferment ;  one  Sunday,  during  the 
time  of  divine  service,  when  the  psalm  was 
named,  I  opened  the  prayer  book  to  turn  to 
it ;  but,  (accidentally  shall  I  say,  or  provi- 
dentially ?)  I  opened  upon  the  articles  of  re- 
ligion: and  the  eighth, respecting  the  authority 
and  warrant  of  the  Athanasian  creed,  imme- 
diately engaged  my  attention.  My  disbelief 
of  the  doctrine  of  a  trinity,  co-equal  persons 
in  the  unity  of  the  Godhead,  and  my  preten- 
sions to  candour,  both  combined  to  excite  my 
hatred  to  this  creed  ;  for  which  reasons,  I  had 
been  accustomed  to  speak  of  it  with  con- 
tempt, and  to  neglect  reading  it  officially.  No 
sooner,  therefore,  did  I  read  the  words, 
"  That  it  was  to  be  thoroughly  received  and 
believed;  for  that  it  might  be  proved  by  most 
certain  warrants  of  holy  scripture;"  than  my 
mind  Avas  greatly  impressed  and  affected. — 
The  matter  of  subscription  immediately  oc- 
curred, and  from  that  moment  I  conceived 
such  scruples  about  it,  that  until  my  view  of 


48  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

the  whole  system  of  gospel  doctrine  was  en- 
tirely changed,  they  remained  insuperable. 

'Tis  wisely  said  by  the  son  of  Sirach, 
"My  son,  if  thou  come  to  serve  the  Lord, 
prepare  thy  soul  for  temptation."  I  had 
twice  before  subscribed  these  articles,  with 
the  same  religious  sentiments  I  now  enter- 
tained. But  conscience  being  asleep,  and  the 
service  of  the  Lord  no  part  of  my  concern,  I 
considered  subscription  as  a  matter  of  course, 
a  necessary  form,  and  very  little  troubled 
myself  about  it.  But  now,  though  full  of 
pride,  of  ambition,  and  of  the  love  of  the 
world,  my  heart  was  sincerely  toward  the 
Lord,  and  I  dared  not  to  venture  on  a  known 
sin  deliberately,  for  the  sake  of  temporal  in- 
terest. Subscription  to  articles  which  I  did 
not  believe,  paid  as  a  price  for  church  prefer- 
ment, I  looked  upon  as  an  impious  lie,  a 
heinous  guilt,  that  could  never  truly  be  re- 
pented of  without  throwing  back  the  wages 
of  iniquity.  The  more  I  pondered  it,  the 
more  strenuously  my  conscience  protested 
against  it.  At  length,  after  a  violent  conflict 
betwixt  interest  and  conscience,  I  made 
known  my  scruples,  and  my  determination 
not  to  subscribe :  thus  my  views  of  prefer- 
ment were  deliberately  given  up,  and  with 
an  increasing  family  I  was  left,  as  far  as 
mere  human  prudence  could  discern,  with 
little  other  prospect  than  that  of  poverty  and 
distress.  My  scruple  was,  as  I  now  see,  a  mis- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        49 

taken  one ;  much  self-sufficiency,  undue 
warmth  of  temper,  and  obstinacy,  were  be- 
trayed in  the  management  of  this  affair,  for 
which  I  ought  to  be  humbled.  But  my  ad- 
herence to  the  dictates  of  my  conscience,  and 
holding  fast  my  integrity  in  such  trying  cir- 
cumstances, I  never  did,  nor  I  trust  ever 
shall,  repent  of. 

No  sooner  was  my  determination  known, 
than  I  was  much  blamed  by  many  of  my 
friends.  They  all,  I  am  sensible,  did  it  out  of 
kindness  to  me,  but  they  used  arguments  of 
different  kinds.  And  though  I  was  confirm- 
ed in  niy  resolution  by  the  reasonings  used  to 
induce  me  to  alter  it;  yet  were  they  at  length 
made  instrumental  in  bringing  me  to  this  im- 
portant determination:  "  not  to  believe  what 
any  man  said,  as  to  take  it  upon  his  authority, 
but  to  search  the  word  of  God  with  this  sin- 
gle intention,  to  discover  whether  the  articles 
of  the  church  of  England  in  general,  and  this 
creed  in  particular,  were,  or  were  not  agree- 
able thereto.''  I  had  studied  the  Scriptures  in 
some  measure  before,  for  the  sake  of  becom- 
ing acquainted  with  the  original  languages, 
and  in  order  to  fetch  thence  detached  texts  to 
support  my  own  system;  and  I  had  a  tolera- 
ble acquaintance  with  the  historical  and  pre- 
ceptive parts  of  them:  but  I  had  not  searched 
this  precious  repository  of  divine  knowledge, 
with  the  express  design  of  discovering  the 
truth  in  controverted  matters  of  doctrine. 
I  had  very  rarely  been  troubled  with  suspi^ 
5 


50  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

cions  that  I  was  or  might  be  mistaken;  and 
now  rather  thought  of  becoming  better  quaU- 
fied  upon  scriptural  grounds  to  defend  my 
determination,lhanof  being  led  to  any  change 
of  sentiments. 

However,  I  set  about  the  inquiry;  and  the 
first  passage,  as  I  remember,  which  made  me 
suspect  that  I  might  be  wrong,  was  James 
i.  5.  "  If  any  of  you  lack  wisdom  let  him  ask 
of  God,  who  giveth  to  all  men  liberally,  and 
upbraideth  not,  and  it  shall  be  given  him." 
On  considering  these  words  with  some  at- 
tention, I  became  conscious,  that  though  I 
had  thought  myself  wise,  yet  certainly  I  had 
obtained  none  of  my  wisdom  in  this  man- 
ner ;  for  I  had  never  offered  one  prayer  to 
that  effect  in  my  life :  and  I  also  perceived 
this  text  contained  a  suitable  direction,  and 
an  encouraging  promise  in  my  present  in- 
quiry :  and  from  this  time,  in  my  poor  man- 
ner, I  began  to  ask  God  to  give  me  this  pro- 
mised wisdom. 

Shortly  after  I  meditated  upon,  and 
preached  from  John  vii.  16,  17.  "My  doc- 
trine is  not  mine,  but  his  that  sent  me;  if  any 
man  will  do  his  will,  he  shall  know"  of  the 
doctrine  whether  it  be  of  God,  or  whether  I 
speak  of  myself"  I  was  surprised  that  I 
had  not  before  attended  to  such  remarkable 
words.  I  discovered  that  they  contained  a 
direction  and  a  promise  calculated  to  serve 
as  a  clue  in  extricating  the  sincere  inquirer 
after  truth  from  that  labyrinth  of  controversy 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         51 

wherein,  at  his  first  setting  out,  he  is  likely  to 
be  bewildered.  And  though  my  mind  was 
too  much  leavened  with  the  pride  of  reason- 
ing, as  yet,  to  reap  that  benefit  from  this 
precious  text,  which  it  is  capable  of  afford- 
ing to  the  soul  that  is  humbly  willing  to  be 
taught  of  God;  yet,  being  conscious  that  I 
was  willing  to  risk  every  thing  in  doing  what 
I  thought  his  will ;  I  was  encouraged  with 
the  assurance,  that  if  I  were  under  a  mistake, 
I  should  some  time  discover  it. 

I  was  further  led  to  suspect  that  I  might 
possibly  be  wrong,  because  I  had  not  hitherto 
sought  the  truth  in  the  proper  manner,  by 
attending  to  Proverbs  iii.  5,  6.  "  Trust  in 
the  Lord  with  all  thine  heart,  and  lean  not 
to  thine  own  understanding  :  in  all  thy  ways 
acknowledge  him,  and  he  shall  direct  thy 
paths.'^  Evidently  I  had  not  hitherto  trust- 
ed in  the  Lord  with  all  my  heart,  nor  ac- 
knowledged him  in  all  my  ways,  nor  de- 
pended on  his  directions  in  all  my  paths;  but 
in  my  religious  speculations,  had  leaned 
wholly  to  my  own  understanding. 

But  though  these  passages,  and  some 
others,  made  for  the  present  a  great  impres- 
sion upon  me,  and  influenced  me  to  make  it 
a  part  of  my  daily  prayers,  that  I  might  be 
directed  to  a  right  understanding  of  the  word 
of  God;  yet  my  pride  and  addictedness  to 
controversy  had,  as  some  desperate  disease, 
infected  my  whole  soul,  and  I  was  not  to  be 
cured  all  at  once.     I  was  far  from  being  like 


52  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

a  little  child,  sitting  humbly  and  simply  at 
the  Lord's  feet,  to  learn  from  him  the  very 
first  rudiments  of  divine  knowledge.  I  had 
yet  no  abiding  suspicion,  that  all  which  I 
had  heretofore  accounted  wisdom  was  fool- 
ishness, and  must  be  unlearned,  and  counted 
loss,  before  I  could  attain  to  the  excellency 
of  the  true  knowledge  of  Jesus  Christ:  for 
though  I  began  to  allow  it  probable,  that  in 
some  few  matters  I  might  have  been  in  an 
error,  yet  in  the  main  I  still  was  confident 
my  scheme  of  doctrine  was  true.  When  I 
was  pressed  with  objections  and  arguments 
against  any  of  my  sentiments,  and  when 
doubts  began  to  arise  in  my  mind,  to  put  off 
the  uneasiness  thereby  occasioned,  my  con- 
stant practice  was  to  recollect,  as  far  as  I 
could,  all  the  reasonings  and  interpretations 
of  Scripture,  on  the  other  side  of  the  question; 
and  when  this  failed  of  affording  satisfaction, 
I  had  recourse  to  controversial  writings. — 
This  drew  me  aside  from  the  pure  word  of 
God,  occasioned  my  being  more  remiss  and 
formal  in  prayer,  and  furnished  me  with  de- 
fensive armour  against  my  convictions,  with 
fuel  for  my  passions,  and  food  for  my  pride 
and  self  sufficiency. 

At  this  time,  "  Locke's  Reasonableness  of 
Christianity,"  together  with  his  "  vindica- 
tions of  it,"  became  my  favourite  piece  of 
divinity.  1  studied  this,  and  many  other  of 
Mr.  Locke's  works,  with  great  attention,  and 
a  sort  of  bigoted  fondness ;  taking  him  almost 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         53 

implicitly  for  my  master,  adopting  almost  all 
his  conclusions,  borrowing  many  of  his  argu- 
ments, and  being  scarcely  able  to  endure  such 
as  would  not  agree  with  me  in  my  partiality 
for  him.  This  was  of  great  disservice  to 
me,*  as,  instead  of  getting  forward  in  my  in- 
quiry after  truth,  I  was  thereby  furnished 
with  more  ingenious  and  specious  arguments 
wherewith  to  defend  my  mistakes. 

But  I  read  one  book  at  this  time,  because 
mentioned  with  approbation  by  Mr.  Locke, 
that  was  of  singular  use,  namely,  "  Bishop 
Burnet's  Pastoral  Care."  Therein  I  found 
but  little  that  offended  my  prejudices,  and 
many  things,  which  came  home  to  my  con- 
science, respecting  my  ministerial  obligations. 
A  few  short  extracts  I  shall  lay  before  the 
reader,  that  were  most  affecting  to  my  own 
mind.  Page  111,  having  mentioned  the  ques- 
tion proposed  to  those  who  are  about  to  be 
ordained  deacons :  "  Do  you  trust  that  you 
are  inwardly  moved  by  the  Holy  Ghost  to 
take  upon  you  this  office,  to  serve  God,  for 

*  After  having  spoken  so  freely  of  Mr.  Locke's  divinity, 
which  I  once  so  highly  esteemed,  it  seems  a  piece  of  jus- 
tice to  acknowledge  the  very  great  obligations,  which 
the  whole  religious  world  is  under  to  this  great  man,  for 
his  Treatise  on  Toleration,  and  his  answers  to  those  who 
wrote  against  it.  The  grounds  of  religious  liberty,  and 
the  reasons  why  every  one  should  be  left  to  his  own 
choice,  to  worship  God  according  to  his  conscience, 
were  perhaps  never  generally  understood  since  the  foun- 
dation  of  the  world,  until  by  these  publications,  Mr. 
Locke  unanswerably  made  them  manifest. 


54  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

promoting  his  glory,  and  the  edifying  of  his 
people?"  He  adds,  "Certainly  the  answer 
that  is  made  to  this,  ought  to  be  well  consid- 
ered ;  for  if  any  one  says,  '  I  trust  so,'  that 
yet  knows  nothing  of  any  such  motion,  and 
can  give  no  account  of  it,  he  Ues  to  the  Holy 
Ghost,  and  makes  his  first  approach  to  the 
altar  with  a  lie  in  his  mouth,  and  that  not  to 
men,  but  to  God."  And  again,  p.  112, 
"  Shall  not  he  (God)  reckon  with  those,  who 
dare  to  run  without  his  mission,  pretending 
that  they  trust  they  have  it,  when  perhaps 
they  understand  not  the  importance  of  it; 
nay,  and  perhaps  some  laugh  at  it,  as  an  en- 
thusiastical  question,  who  yet  will  go  through 
with  the  office!  They  come  to  Christ  for 
the  loaves;  they  hope  to  live  by  the  altar  and 
the  gospel,  how  little  soever  they  serve  at 
the  one,  or  preach  at  the  other;  therefore 
they  will  say  any  thing  that  is  necessary  for 
qualifying  them  to  this,  whether  true  or 
false." 

Again,  page  122,  having  interwoven  a 
great  part  of  the  excellent  office  of  the  ordi- 
nation of  priests,  into  his  argument  concern- 
ing the  importance  of  the  work  and  weight 
of  the  ministry;  he  adds,  "  Upon  the  whole 
matter,  either  this  is  all  a  piece  of  gross  and 
impudent  pageantry,  dressed  up  in  grave  and 
lofty  expressions,  to  strike  upon  the  weaker 
part  of  mankind,  and  to  furnish  the  rest  with 
matter  to  their  profane  and  impious  scorn ; 
or  it  must  be  confessed  that  priests  come  un- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        55 

der  the  most  formal  and  express  engage- 
ments to  constant  and  diligent  labour,  that 
can  be  possibly  contrived,  or  set  forth  in 
words."  He  concludes  this  subject  of  the 
ordination  offices,  with  exhorting  all  candi- 
dates for  orders,  to  read  thern  frequently  and 
attentively,  during  their  season  of  prepara- 
tion; that  they  may  be  aware  beforehand  of 
the  obligations  they  are  about  so  solemnly  to 
enter  into;  and  to  peruse  them  at  least  four 
times  in  a  year,  ever  after  their  ordination,  to 
keep  in  their  minds  a  continual  remembrance 
of  their  important  engagements.  How  ne- 
cessary this  counsel  is,  every  minister,  or 
candidate  for  the  ministry,  must  determine 
for  himself:  for  my  part,  I  had  never  read 
the  office  over  once,  when  I  was  ordained, 
and  was  in  great  measure  a  stranger  to  the 
obligations  I  was  about  to  enter  into,  until 
the  very  season ;  nor  did  I  ever  afterward 
attend  thereto,  till  this  advice  put  me  upon  it. 
The  shameful  negligence,  and  extreme  ab- 
surdity of  my  conduct  in  this  respect,  are  too 
glaring  not  to  be  understood,  and  applied  by 
every  one  who  hath  been  guilty  of  a  similar 
omission.  I  would  therefore  only  just  men- 
tion, that  hearty,  earnest  prayer  to  God,  for 
his  guidance,  help,  and  blessing,  may  be  suit- 
ably recommended  as  a  proper  attendant  on 
such  perusal  of  our  obligations. 

Again,  p.  147,  he  thus  speaks  of  a  wicked 
clergyman :  "  His  whole  life  has  been  a  course 
of  hypocrisy  in  the  strictest  sense  of  the  word, 


56  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

which  is  the  acting  of  a  part,  and  the  coun- 
terfeiting another  person.  His  sins  have  in 
them  ail  possible  aggravations;  they  are 
against  knowledge  and  against  vows,  and 
contrary  to  his  character:  they  carry  in  them 
a  deliberate  contempt  of  all  the  truths  and 
obligations  of  religion;  and  if  he  perishes,  he 
doth  not  perish  alone,  but  carries  a  shoal 
down  with  him,  either  of  those  who  have 
perished  in  ignorance  through  his  neglect,  or 
of  those  who  have  been  hardened  in  their 
sins  through  his  ill  example."  Again,  p. 
138,  having  copiously  discoursed  of  the  stu- 
dies befitting  ministers,  especially  the  study 
of  the  Scriptures,  he  adds,  "But  to  give  all 
these  their  full  effect,  a  priest  that  is  much  in 
his  study,  ought  to  employ  a  great  part  of 
his  time  in  secret  and  fervent  prayer,  for  the 
direction  and  blessing  of  God  in  his  labours, 
for  the  constant  assistance  of  his  Holy  Spirit, 
and  for  a  lively  sense  of  divine  matters;  that 
so  he  may  feel  the  impressions  of  them  grow 
deep  and  strong  upon  his  thoughts;  this, and 
this  only,  will  make  him  go  on  with  his  work 
whhout  wearying,  and  be  always  rejoicing 
in  it.'' 

But  the  chief  benefit  that  accrued  to  me 
from  the  perusal  of  this  book  was  this:  I 
was  excited  by  it  to  an  attentive  considera- 
tion of  those  Scriptures  which  speak  of  the 
obligations  and  duties  of  a  minister,  and 
which  hitherto  I  had  not  observed,  or  very 
loosely  attended  to.    In  particular,  it  is  yet 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        57 

fresh  in  my  memory,  thai  I  was  much  affect- 
ed with  considering  the  charge  of  precious 
souls  committed  to  me,  and  the  awful  ac- 
count one  day  to  be  rendered  of  them;  as 
this  subject  occurred  to  me  in  meditating  on 
Ezekiel  xxxiii.  7,  9.  "So  thou,  Oson  of  man! 
I  have  set  thee  as  a  watchman  unto  the  house 
of  Israel:  therefore  thou  shalt  hear  the  word 
at  my  mouth,  and  warn  them  from  me. — 
When  I  say  unto  the  wicked,  0  wicked  man, 
thou  shalt  surely  die;  if  thou  dost  not  speak 
to  warn  the  wicked  from  his  way,  that  wick- 
ed man  shall  die  in  his  iniquity,  but  his  blood 
will  I  require  at  thine  hand.  Nevertheless, 
if  thou  warn  the  wicked  of  his  way,  to  turn 
from  it;  if  he  do  not  turn  from  his  way,  he 
shall  die  in  his  iniquity,  but  thou  hast  de- 
livered thy  soul."  I  was  fully  convinced 
with  Bishop  Burnet,  that  every  minister  is 
as  much  concerned  in  this  solemn  warning, 
as  the  prophet  himself.  Acts  xx.  17 — 35, 
was  another  portion  of  Scripture,  which,  by 
means  of  this  book  was  brought  home  to  my 
conscience;  especially  ver.  26,  27,28,  which 
serve  as  an  illustration  of  the  foregoing  Scrip- 
ture: "Wherefore  I  take  you  to  record  this 
day,  that  I  am  pure  from  the  blood  of  all 
men,  for  I  have  not  shunned  to  declare  unto 
you  all  the  counsel  of  God.  Take  heed, 
therefore,  unto  yourselves,  and  to  all  the 
flock  over  which  the  Holy  Ghost  hath  made 
you  overseers,  to  feed  the  church  of  God, 


58  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

which  he  hath  purchased  with  his  own 
blood. '^ 

III  short,  at  his  instance  I  was  put  upon 
the  attentive  and  repeated  perusal  of  the 
Epistles  to  Timothy  and  Titus,  as  containing 
the  sum  of  a  minister's  duty  in  all  ages.  I 
searched  out,  and  carefully  considered  every 
text  I  could  find  in  the  whole  Scripture, 
which  referred  to  this  argument.  I  was 
greatly  impressed  by  1  Cor.  ix.  16.  "For 
necessity  is  laid  upon  me:  yea,  wo  is  me,  if 
I  preach  not  the  Gospel.''  Nor  was  I  less 
struck  with  Colossians,  iv.  17.  "Say  to  Ar- 
chippus.  Take  heed  to  the  ministry  which 
thou  hast  received  of  the  Lord,  that  thou 
fulfil  it."  This  was  brought  to  my  con- 
science with  power,  as  if  the  Apostle  had 
in  person  spoken  these  words  to  me.  But 
especially  I  was  both  instructed  and  en- 
couraged by  meditating  upon  1  Peter  v.  2 — 
4.  "  Feed  the  flock  of  God  that  is  among 
you,  taking  the  oversight  thereof,  not  by 
constraint,  but  willingly;  not  for  filthy  lucre, 
but  of  a  ready  mind,  neither  as  being  lords 
over  God's  heritage,  but  as  examples  to  the 
flock:  and  when  the  chief  Shepherd  shall 
appear,  ye  shall  receive  a  crown  of  glory, 
that  fadeth  not  away." 

I  hope  the  reader  will  excuse  my  prolixity 
in  speaking  on  this  subject;  because  in  itself 
it  is  very  important;  and  though  I  got  no 
new  views  of  gospel  truth  from  this  book, 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         59 

yet  I  received  such  a  deep  conviction  of  the 
diflicuhy  and  importance  of  that  work,  in 
which  I  had  thoughtlessly  engaged,  and  of 
the  imminent  danger  my  soul  was  exposed 
to,  if  I  neglected  to  devote  myself  wholly 
thereto;  that  therein  was  laid  the  founda- 
tion of  all  my  subsequent  conduct,  and 
change  of  sentiment.  Indeed,  I  was  guilty 
of  very  criminal  procrastination,  after  I  had 
been  thus  convinced;  and  being  engaged 
more  than  I  ought  in  other  matters,  I  post- 
poned and  neglected,  for  a  time,  complying 
with  the  dictates  of  my  conscience.  But  I 
never  lost  sight  of  the  instruction  I  had  re- 
ceived, nor  ever  had  any  comfortable  reflec- 
tion, until  having  broken  off'all  other  engage- 
ments, I  had  given  myself  up  to  those  studies 
and  duties  which  pertain  unto  the  work  of 
the  ministry.  And  I  have  cause  to  bless 
God,  that  this  book  ever  came  in  my  way. 

Still,  however,  my  self-confidence  was  very 
little  abated,  and  my  advance  in  the  know- 
ledge of  the  truth  very  small.  I  next  read 
Tillotson's  sermons,  and  Jorlin's  works;  and 
my  time  being  otherwise  engaged,  I  gave  in 
to  the  indolent  custom  of  transcribing  their 
discourses  with  some  alterations,  to  preach 
to  my  people.  This  precluded  free  medita- 
tion on  the  word  of  God,  and  led  me  for  a 
time  to  take  up  my  opinions  upon  trust.  My 
preaching  was  in  general  that  smooth  pala- 
table mixture  of  law  and  gospel,  which  cor- 
rupts both;  which,  flattering  the  pride  and 


60  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

prejudice, and  soothing  the  conscience, pleases 
the  careless  sinner,  and  self-righteous  formal- 
ist; but  does  real  good  to  none. 

About  this  time  I  foolishly  engaged  in  a 
course  of  diversion  and  visiting,  more  than  I 
had  done  since  my  ordination:  this  unfitted 
me  for  secret  prayer  and  close  meditation, 
and  rendered  the  Scriptures,  and  other  re- 
ligious studies,  insipid  and  irksome  to  me,  (a 
never-faihng  consequence  of  this  vain  com- 
pliance with  the  world.)  For  a  time,  there- 
fore, my  ardour  was  damped,  my  anxiety 
banished,  and  my  inquiries  retarded.  How- 
ever, I  was  not  permitted  entirely  to  drop  my 
religious  pursuits;  generally  I  made  it  a  rule 
to  read  something  in  the  Scriptures  every 
day,  and  had  a  task  of  daily  devotion;  but  I 
was  very  formal  and  lifeless  in  both  of  them. 

Yet  not  long  after  I  was  engaged  in  ear- 
nest meditation  on  our  Lord's  discourse  with 
Nicodemus,  (John  iii.)  1  felt  an  anxious  de- 
sire to  understand  this  interesting  portion  of 
Scripture;  especially  to  know  what  it  was 
to  be  born  again,  or  from  above,  and  of  the 
Spirit;  which  in  five  verses  our  Saviour 
hath  three  times  declared  absolutely  neces- 
sary to  salvation.  It  was  absurd  to  suppose 
that  such  strong  expressions  implied  no  more 
than  baptism  with  water.  Tillotson's  con- 
troversial sermons  on  this  subject,  afforded 
me  no  satisfaction.  Some  great  and  total 
change  I  supposed  to  be  intended,  not  only 
in  the  behaviour  but  also  in  the  heart.    But 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NAKRATIVE.        61 

having  not  yet  clearly  experienced  that 
change,  I  could  not  understand  wherein  it 
consisted.  However,  having  offered  some 
poor  prayers  for  divine  leaching,  I  under- 
took to  preach  upon  it;  but  I  talked  very 
darkly,  employed  a  considerable  part  of  my 
time  in  declaiming  against  visionaries  and 
enthusiasts,  and  reaped  very  little  benefit 
from  it.  Yet  I  was  so  well  satisfied  with 
my  performance,  that  in  the  course  of  my 

correspondence  with  Mr. ,  I  sent  him 

these  sermons  for  his  perusal;  who,  in  re- 
turn, sent  me  some  of  his  own  upon  the 
same  subject.  But  though  sincerely  desirous 
to  understand  our  Lord's  meaning  in  this 
important  matter,  I  was  too  proud  to  be 
taught  by  him:  I  cast  my  eye,  therefore, 
carelessly,  over  some  of  them,  and  returned 
the  manuscript  without  attending  to  any  thing 
contained  in  it. 

Nothing  material  occurred  after  this,  until 
the  next  spring,  1776;  when  I  was  induced 
by  what  I  had  learned  from  Bishop  Burnet, 
to  establish  a  lecture  once  a  week  in  one  of 
my  parishes,  for  expounding  the  Scriptures. 
This  brought  many  passages,  which  I  had 
not  observed,  under  attentive  consideration, 
and  afforded  my  reflecting  mind  abundance 
of  employment,  in  attempting  to  reconcile 
them  with  each  other,  and  with  my  scheme 
of  doctrine. 

Little  progress,  howevler,  had  been  made 
when,  ill  May,  1776,  I   heard  a  dignified 


62  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

clergyman,  in  a  visitation  sermon,  recom- 
mend Mr.  Soame  Jenyns's  "Treatise  on  the 
internal  evidences  of  Christianity."  In  con- 
sequence of  this  recommendation,  I  perused 
it,  and  not  unprofitably.  The  truth  and  im- 
portance of  the  gospel  revelation  appeared 
with  convincing  evidence  to  my  understand- 
ing, and  came  with  efficacy  to  my  heart,  by 
reading  this  book:  thence  I  received  more 
distinct  and  heart-affecting  views  of  the  de- 
sign of  God  in  this  revelation  of  himself;  and 
I  was  led  to  much  serious  reflection,  and 
earnest  prayer,  to  be  led  to,  or  est'^iblished  in 
the  truth,  concerning  the  nature  and  reality 
of  the  atonement  by  the  death  of  Christ,  for 
hitherto  I  was  a  Socinian,  or  very  little  bet- 
ter in  this  respect. 

But  to  counterbalance  this  advantage.  Dr. 
Clarke's  Scripture  doctrine  of  the  Trinity, 
and  the  controversy  which  ensued  upon  its 
publication,  became  a  favourite  part  of  my 
study.  The  Arian  scheme  seems  so  incon- 
sistent with  reason,  that  when  reflecting  men, 
in  order  to  avoid  those  mysterious,  and,  as 
they  imagine,  unreasonable  conclusions, 
which,  according  to  the  true  meaning  of 
words,  the  Scriptures  contain,  have  been  in- 
duced to  become  Arians;  it  is  wonderful 
they  do  not,  for  the  same  cause,  embrace  the 
Socinian  system.  This  is  the  natural  pro- 
gress of  unhumbled  reason;  from  Arian- 
ism  to  Socinianism  ;  from  Socinianism  to  De- 
ism; and  then  to  Atheism.    Many  and  aw- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        63 

ful  have  been  the  examples  of  reasoning  and 
learned  men,  who,  under  the  name  of  phi- 
losophers, arrogating  to  themselves  the  pre- 
rogative of  superior  discernment,  have  mani- 
fested the  propriety  with  which  they  claimed 
this  pre-eminence,  by  treading  this  downhill 
road,  almost,  if  not  quite,  to  the  very  bottom. 
But  when  a  man  has  fallen  so  low  as  So- 
cinianisni,  not  merely  for  want  of  informa- 
tion, or  by  blindly  and  implicitly  adopting 
the  sentiments  of  other  men,  but  by  leaning 
on  his  own  understanding,  and  preferring  the 
conclusions  of  his  own  reason,  to  the  infalH- 
ble  dictates  of  the  Holy  Ghost;  it  is  not  com- 
mon for  him  to  return  gradually  by  the  re- 
trogade  path,  first  to  Arianism,  and  then  to 
the  received  doctrine  of  the  Trinity.  Yet 
this  was  my  case.  Dr.  Clarke  appeared  to 
me  so  undeniably  to  establish  his  argument, 
by  express  Scripture  evidences,  and  so  plau- 
sibly defended  his  system  on  both  hands, 
and  backed  his  cause  with  so  many  seeming 
authorities,  that  on  one  side  I  found  myself 
unable  any  longer  to  maintain  my  Socinian 
principles,  but  was  constrained  to  relinquish 
them  as  untenable;  and  on  the  other,  I  was 
not  aware  of  the  flaw  in  his  reasoning,  and 
the  unavoidable  consequence  of  his  middle 
doctrine;  namely,  that  the  Son,  and  Holy 
Ghost,  however  exalted,  or  dignified  Avith 
names  and  titles,  must  either  be  mere  crea- 
tures, or  that  otherwise  there  must  be  three 
Gods.     Not  perceiving  this,  and  my  newly 


64  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

acquired  reverence  for  Scripture,  and  my  old 
self-confidence  and  fondness  for  reasoning, 
being,  by  this  conciliating  scheme,  both  hu- 
moured, 1  cordially  acceded  to  his  sentiments, 
and  for  a  long  time  could  not  endure  any 
other  doctrine. 

Nothing  further,  of  any  consequence,  oc- 
curred till  about  December,  1776,  when  Mr. 
Law's  "  Serious  Call,"  a  book  I  had  hitherto 
treated  with  contempt,  was  carelessly  taken 
up  by  me.  But  I  had  no  sooner  opened  it, 
than  I  was  struck  with  the  originality  of  the 
work,  and  the  spirit  and  force  of  argument 
wherewith  it  is  written.  This  I  speak  mere- 
ly as  to  his  management  of  the  subject  he 
treats  of;  for  there  are  many  things  in  it, 
that  I  am  far  from  approving ;  and  to  be  sure 
it  contains  as  little  gospel,  as  any  book  of  re- 
ligion I  am  acquainted  with.  But  though  a 
very  uncomfortable  book  for  a  person  who  is 
duly  brought  under  a  serious  concern  for  his 
soul ;  yet  it  is  very  useful  to  prepare  the  way, 
to  show  the  need  which  we  have  of  a  Saviour, 
and  to  enforce  the  practice  of  that  holy  dili- 
gence in  the  use  of  means,  which  the  impor- 
tant interests  of  eternity  reasonably  demand. 
This  was  its  use  to  me.  By  the  perusal  of 
it,  I  was  convinced  that  I  was  guilty  of  great 
remissness  and  negligence;  that  the  duties  of 
secret  devotion  called  for  far  more  of  my  time 
and  attention  than  had  been  hitherto  allotted 
to  them;  that  if  I  hope  to  save  my  own  soul, 
and  the  souls  of  those  that  heard  me,  I  must 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         65 

in  (his  respect  greatly  alter  my  conduct,  and 
increase  njy  diligence  in  seeking  and  serving 
the  Lord.  From  that  time  I  began  to  study 
in  what  manner  my  devotions  might  be  ren- 
dered more  fervent  and  pertinent ;  I  trans- 
cribed and  laid  up  in  my  memory,  Scripture 
petitions;  I  employed  sometime  in  reading 
manuals  of  devotion,  made  attempts  to  com- 
pose prayers  myself,  and  became  more  fre- 
quent and  earnest,  and  I  trust  more  spiritual 
than  heretofore,  in  my  secret  addresses  to  the 
Majesty  of  Heaven. 

About  this  time,  after  many  delays,  I  com- 
plied with  the  admonitions  of  my  conscience, 
and  disengaged  myself  from  all  my  other  em- 
ployments, with  a  solemn  resolution  of  leav- 
ing all  my  temporal  concerns  in  the  hands  of 
the  Lord,  and  of  entirely  devoting  myself  to 
the  work  of  the  ministry.  Being  thus  become 
master  of  all  my  time,  I  dropped  every  other 
study,  and  turned  the  whole  current  of  my 
reflections,  inquiries,and  reading  into  another 
channel,  and  thenceforth  scarce  opened  a 
book,  which  treated  of  any  thing  beside  re- 
ligion. 

The  first  step  I  took  after  this  disengage- 
ment, was  to  keep  common-place  books;  one 
I  had  for  noting  down  remarkable  passages 
out  of  other  authors ;  and  another  for  collect- 
ing into  one  view  every  text  I  could  meet  with 
in  Scripture,  respecting  the  most  important 
and  controverted  doctrines  of  the  gospel. — 
Though  I  held  to  this  but  a  little  time,  (for 
6 


66  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

when  my  engagements  multiplied,  I  dropped 
it,)  yet  I  found  it  very  useful,  in  bringing  me 
acquainted  with  many  passages  of  the  word 
of  God,  to  which  I  had  not  hitherto  much  at- 
tended; and  it  prepared  the  way  for  penning 
my  sermons  on  doctrinal  subjects,  with  the 
scripture  testimonies  concerning  the  point  in 
hand,  in  one  view  before  me. 

In  January,  1777,  I  met  with  a  very  high 
commendation  of  Mr.  Hooker's  works,  with 
the  honourable  distinction  of  judicious  be- 
stowed upon  him.  This  excited  my  curi- 
osity to  read  his  book,  which  accordingly  I 
did,  with  great  profit.  In  his  discourse  upon 
justification,  page  496,  folio  edition,  printed 
1682,  I  met  with  the  following  remarkable 
passage,  which,  as  well  for  its  excellency,  as 
for  the  effect  thereof  upon  my  religious  views, 
I  shall,  though  somewhat  long,  transcribe. 
"If  our  hands  did  never  offer  violence  to  our 
brethren,  a  bloody  thought  doth  prove  us 
murderers  before  him.  If  we  had  never 
opened  our  mouth  to  utter  any  scandalous, 
offensive,  or  hurtful  word,  the  cry  of  our 
secret  cogitations  is  heard  in  the  ears  of 
God.  If  we  did  not  commit  the  sins,  which 
daily  and  hourly,  in  deed,  word,  or  thoughts, 
we  do  commit;  yet  in  the  good  things  which 
we  do,  how  many  defects  are  there  inter- 
mingled! God,  in  that  which  is  done,  re- 
specteth  the  mind  and  intention  of  the  doer; 
cut  off  then  all  those  things,  Avherein  we 
have  regarded  our  own  glory,  those  things 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         67 

which  men  do  to  please  men,  and  to  satisfy 
our  own  liking,  those  things  which  we  do 
for  any  by  respect,  not  sincerely,  and  purely 
for  the  love  of  God;  and  a  small  score  will 
serve  for  the  number  of  our  righteous  deeds. 
Let  the  holiest  and  best  things  which  we  do, 
be  considered:  we  are  never  better  affected 
nnto  God,  than  when  we  pray;  yet  when  we 
pray,  how  are  our  affections  many  times  dis- 
tracted! how  little  reverence  do  we  show 
tmto  the  grand  Majesty  of  heaven,  unto 
whom  we  speak!  how  little  remorse  of  our 
own  miseries!  how  little  taste  of  the  sweet 
influence  of  his  tender  mercies  do  we  feel! 
Are  we  not  as  unwilling  many  times  to  be- 
gin, and  as  glad  to  make  an  end,  as  if  in  say- 
ing, ^  Call  upon  me,'  he  had  set  us  a  very 
burdensome  task?  It  may  seem  somewhat 
extreme,  which  I  will  speak;  therefore  let 
every  one  judge  of  it,  even  as  his  own  heart 
shall  tell  him,  and  no  otherwise.  I  will  but 
only  make  a  demand !  if  God  should  yield 
unto  us,  not  as  unto  Abraham;  if  fifty, forty, 
thirty,  twenty,  yea,  or  if  ten  good  persons 
could  be  found  in  a  city,  for  their  sakes,  the 
city  should  not  be  destroyed:  but,  and  if  he 
should  make  us  an  offer  thus  large:  Search 
all  the  generations  of  men  since  the  fall  of 
our  father  Adam;  find  one  man,  that  hath 
done  one  action,  which  hath  passed  from 
him  pure  without  any  stain  or  blemish  at 
all;  and  for  that  one  man's  only  action,  nei- 
ther men  nor  angels  shall  feel  the  torments 


68  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

which  are  prepared  for  both.  Do  yoa  think 
that  this  ransom  to  deliver  men  and  angels 
could  be  found  among  the  sons  of  men?  The 
best  things  which  we  do  have  somewhat  in 
them  to  be  pardoned;  how  then  can  we  do 
any  thing  meritorious,  or  worthy  to  be  re- 
warded? Indeed,  God  liberally  promiseth 
whatsoever  appertaineth  to  a  blessed  life  to 
as  many  as  sincerely  keep  his  law,  though 
they  be  not  exactly  able  to  do  it.  Where- 
fore we  acknowledge  a  dutiful  necessity  of 
doing  well,  but  the  meritorious  dignity  of 
doing  well  we  utterly  renounce.  We  see 
how  far  we  are  from  the  perfect  righteous- 
ness of  the  law;  the  little  fruit,  which  we 
have  in  holiness,  it  is,  God  knoweth,  corrupt 
and  unsound;  we  put  no  confidence  at  all  in 
it;  we  challenge  nothing  in  the  world  for  it; 
we  dare  not  call  God  to  reckoning,  as  if  we 
had  him  in  our  debt  books.  Our  continual 
suit  to  him  is,  and  must  be,  to  bear  with  our 
infirmities,  and  pardon  our  offences." 

I  had  no  sooner  read  this  passage,  than  I 
acquired  such  an  insight  into  the  strictness 
and  spirituality  of  the  divine  law,  and  the 
perfection  which  a  just  and  holy  God,  accord- 
ing to  that  law,  cannot  but  require  in  all  the 
services  of  his  reasonable  creatures;  that  I 
clearly  perceived  my  very  best  duties  on 
which  my  main  dependence  had  hitherto 
been  placed,  to  be  mere  specious  sins;  and 
my  whole  life  appeared  to  be  one  continued 
series  of  transgressions.     I  now  understood 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        69 

the  apostle's  meaning,  when  he  affirms, 
"  That  by  the  works  of  the  law  can  no  flesh 
be  justified  before  God."  All  my  difficul- 
ties in  this  matter  vanished;  all  my  distinc- 
tions and  reasonings  about  the  meaning  of 
the  words  law  and  justification,  and  all  my 
borrowed  criticisms  about  them,  failed  me  at 
once.  I  could  no  longer  be  thus  amused; 
for  I  was  convinced,  beyond  the  possibility 
of  a  doubt,  that  all  men  were  so  notoriously 
transgressors  of  every  law  of  God,  that  they 
none  of  them  could  be  justified  in  his  sight, 
according  to  any  law:  I  was  sensible  that  if 
God  should  only  call  me  into  judgment  be- 
fore him,  according  to  the  strictness  of  his 
perfect  law,  for  the  best  duty  I  ever  per- 
formed, I  must  be  condemned  as  a  trans- 
gressor; when  weighed  in  these  exact  bal- 
ances, it  would  be  found  wanting.  Thus 
was  I  effectually  convinced,  that  if  ever  I 
were  saved,  it  must  be  in  some  way  of  un- 
merited mercy  and  grace,  though  I  under- 
stood not  clearly  in  what  way,  till  long  after. 
Immediately,  therefore,  I  took  for  my  text, 
Galatians  iii.  22.  "But  the  Scripture  hath 
concluded  all  under  sin,  that  the  promise 
that  is  by  faith  in  Jesus  Christ,  might  be 
given  to  them  that  believe;"  and  preached 
from  it  according  to  Hooker's  doctrine;  ex- 
pressing, as  strongly  as  I  could,  the  defile- 
ments of  our  best  actions,  and  our  need  of 
mercy  in  every  thing  we  did;  in  order  the 
more  evidently  to  show  that  salvation  was 


70  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

of  grace,  through  faith,  not  of  works,  lest 
any  man  should  boast.  However,  I  had 
not  yet  attained  unto  the  knowledge  of  the 
foulness  of  that  fountain  whence  all  these 
poHuted  streams  flow  forth  so  plentifully  into 
our  lives  and  conversations. 

I  was  not  then  able  to  receive  the  follow- 
ing nervous  passages  concerning  justification, 
(p.  495.)  "But  the  righteousness,  wherein  we 
must  be  found,  if  we  will  be  justified,  is  not 
our  own;   therefore  we  cannot  be  justified 
by  any  inherent  quality;  Christ  hath  merited 
righteousness  for  as  many  as  are  found  in 
him.     In  him  God  findeth  us  if  we  be  faith- 
ful; for  by  faith  we   are  incorporated  into 
Christ.     Then,  although  in  ourselves  we  be 
altogether  sinful   and  unrighteous,  yet  even 
the  man  who  is  impious  in  himself  full  of 
iniquity,  full   of  sin;    him    being   found   in 
Christ  through  faith,  and  having  his  sin  re- 
mitted  through  repentance;   him   God  up- 
holdeth  with  a  gracious  eye,  putteth  away 
his  sin  by  not  imputing  it;  taketh  quite  away 
the  punishment  due  thereunto  by  pardoning 
it;  and  accepteth  him  in  Jesus  Christ  as  per- 
fectly righteous,  as  if  he  had  fulfilled  all  that 
was  commanded  him  in  the  law.     Shall  I 
say  more  perfectly  righteous,  than  if  himself 
had  fulfilled  the  whole  law?   I  must  take 
heed   what   I   say;    but   the   apostle    saith, 
*  God  made  him  to  he  sin  for  us,  who  kneiv 
no  sin,  that  we  might  he  made  the  righte- 
ousness of  God  in  him.''    Such  are  we  in 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        71 

the  sight  of  God  the  Father,  as  is  the  very- 
Son  of  God  himself.  Let  it  be  counted  folly, 
or  frenzy,  or  fury,  whatsoever;  it  is  our  com- 
fort and  our  wisdom;  we  care  for  no  know- 
ledge in  the  world  but  this,  that  man  hath 
sinned,  and  God  hath  suffered;  that  God 
hath  made  himself  the  Son  of  man,  and  that 
men  are  made  the  righteousness  of  God/' 

Equally  determinate  and  expressive  is 
what  he  says,  p.  500,  "  As  for  such  as  hold 
with  the  church  of  Rome,  that  we  cannot  be 
saved  by  Christ  alone  without  works,  they 
do  not  only  by  a  circle  of  consequence,  but 
directly,  deny  the  foundation  of  faith  ;  they 
hold  it  not;  no,  not  so  much  as  by  a  single 
thread."  If  the  judicious  Mr.  Hooker's 
judgment  may,  in  this  important  concern,  be 
depended  on,  as  I  suppose  it  will  not  easily 
be  proved  erroneous,  I  fear  the  foundation, 
of  faith  is  only  held  by  a  small  part  of  that 
church  which  has  honoured  her  champion 
with  this  distinction. 

Page  50S  and  509,  he  thus  defends  his 
doctrine  against  the  objections  of  the  Papists, 
(for  at  that  time  none  but  the  Papists  object- 
ed to  it,)  "  It  is  a  childish  cavil,  wherewith,  in 
the  matter  of  justification,  our  adversaries  do 
so  greatly  please  themselves,  exclaiming  that 
we  tread  all  Christian  virtues  under  our  feet, 
and  require  nothing  of  Christians  but  faith; 
because  we  teach  that  faith  alone  justifieth. 
Whereas,  by  this  speech  we  never  meant  to 
exclude  either  hope  or  charity  from  being 


72  THE    FOKCE    OF   TRrTH  : 

always  joined  as  inseparable  mates  with  faith, 
in  the  man  that  is  justified;  or  works  from 
being  added  as  necessary  duties  required  at 
the  hands  of  every  justified  man;  but  to  show 
that  faith  is  the  only  hand  which  putteth  on 
Christ  unto  justification  ;  and  Christ  the  only 
garment,  which  being  so  put  on,  covereth  the 
shame  of  our  defiled  natures — hideth  the 
imperfection  of  our  works — preserveth  us 
blameless  in  the  sight  of  God  :  before  whom, 
otherwise,  the  weakness  of  our  faith  were 
cause  sufficient  to  make  us  culpable,  yea,  to 
shut  us  from  the  kingdom  of  heaven,  where 
nothing  that  is  not  absolute  can  enter/' 

Had  I  at  this  time  met  with  such  passages 
in  the  writings  of  the  Dissenters,  or  any  of 
those  modern  publications,  which,  under  the 
brand  of  methodistical,  are  condemned  with- 
out reading,  or  perused  with  invincible  pre- 
judice, I  should  not  have  thought  them  worth 
regard,  but  should  have  rejected  them  as  wild 
enthusiasm.  But  I  knew  that  Hooker  was 
deemed  perfectly  orthodox,  and  a  standard 
writer,  by  the  prelates  of  the  church  in  his 
own  days.  I  learned  from  his  dispute  with 
Mr.  Travers,  that  he  was  put  upon  his  de- 
fence, for  making  concessions  in  this  matter 
to  the  church  of  Rome,  which  the  zealous 
Protestants  did  not  think  warrantable;  that 
he  was  judged  by  the  more  rigid,  too  lax  in 
his  doctrines;  by  none  too  rigid.  I  had  never 
heard  that  it  had  been  insinuated,  that  he 
was  tinctured  with  enthusiasm;  and  the  so- 


AN   AUTHENTIC    NARRATI\'^E.  73 

lidity  of  his  judgment,  and  acuteness  of  his 
reasoning  faculties,  needed  no  voucher  to  the 
attentive  reader.  His  opinion  therefore  car- 
ried great  weight  with  it ;  made  me  suspect 
the  truth  of  my  former  sentiments,  and  put 
me  upon  serious  inquiries,  and  deep  medita- 
tion upon  this  subject,  accompanied  with  ear- 
nest prayers  for  the  teaching  and  direction  of 
the  Lord  therein.  The  result  was,  that  after 
many  objections,  and  doubts,  and  much  ex- 
amination of  the  word  of  God,  in  a  few 
months  I  began  to  accede  to  Mr.  Hooker's 
sentiments.  And  at  the  present  my  opinion 
in  this  respect,  as  far  as  I  know,  coincides 
with  these  passages  of  this  eminent  author, 
and  is  supported  and  vindicated  with  the 
same  arguments ;  he,  therefore,  who  would 
prove  our  doctrine  of  justification  by  faith 
alone  to  be  an  error,  will  do  well  to  answer 
in  the  first  place  these  quotations  from  Mr. 
Hooker. 

And,  indeed,  as  far  as  I  can  understand 
him,  there  is  scarce  any  doctrine,  which, 
with  no  inconsiderable  offence,  I  now  preach, 
that  is  not  as  evidently  contained  in  his 
writings,  as  in  my  sermons.  Witness  parti- 
cularly his  "  Discourse  of  the  certainty,  and 
perpetuity  of  faith  in  the  elect,"  in  which  the 
doctrine  of  the  final  perseverance  of  true  be- 
lievers, as  far  as  seems  worth  contending  for, 
is  expressly  taught  and  maintained  :  And  he 
closes  it  with  this  noble  triumph  of  full  assu- 
rance, as  resulting  from  that  comfortable 
7 


74  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  I 

doctrine  in  the  hearts  of  confirmed  and  ex- 
perienced Christians  :  (page  532.)  "I  know 
in  whom  I  have  beUeved  ;  I  am  not  ignorant 
whose  precious  blood  has  been  shed  for  me  ; 
I  have  a  shepherd  full  of  kindness,  full  of 
care,  full  of  power  ;  unto  him  I  commit  my- 
self. His  own  finger  hath  engraven  this  sen- 
tence in  the  tables  of  my  heart :  Satan  hath 
desired  to  winnow  thee  as  wheat,  but  I  have 
prayed  that  thy  faith  fail  not;  therefore 
the  assurance  of  my  hope  I  will  labour  to  keep 
as  a  jewel  unto  the  end,  and  by  labour  through 
the  gracious  mediation  of  his  prayers,  I  shall 
keep  it."  With  such  words  in  my  mouth, 
and  such  assurance  in  my  heart,  I  wish  to 
live,  and  hope  to  die. 

The  insertion  of  these  quotations  from  this 
old  author,  I  hope  will  need  no  apology; 
many  have  not  his  works,  and  these  extracts 
are  worthy  of  their  perusal;  others,  from 
these  specimens,  may  be  prevailed  on  to  read, 
what  perhaps  hath  hitherto  been  an  unnoticed 
book  in  their  studies.  Especially  I  recom- 
mend to  those  who  admire  him  as  the  cham- 
pion of  their  external  order  and  discipline  of 
the  church,  and  such  as  willingly  allow  him 
the  honour  of  being  distinguished  by  the  epi- 
thet judicious;  that  they  would  attentively 
read,  and  impartially  consider  his  doctrine. 
This  would  put  an  effectual  stop  to  those 
declamations,  that  either  ignorantly  or  mali- 
ciously are  made  against  those  very  doctrines 
as  novel  inventions,  which  have  just  now 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        75 

been  explained  and  defended,  in  Mr.  Hook- 
er's own  words.  For  my  own  part,  though 
I  acknowledge  that  he  advances  many- 
things  I  should  be  unwilling  to  subscribe  to; 
yet  I  heartily  bless  God,  that  at  this  time  I 
read  him;  the  first  material  alteration  that 
took  place  in  my  views  of  the  Gospel,- being 
in  consequence  thereof. 

One  more  quotation  I  shall  produce,  and 
so  take  my  leave  of  him;  (page  552,)  ad- 
dressing himself  unto  the  pastors,  who  are 
appointed  to  feed  the  chosen  in  Israel,  he 
says,  "  If  there  be  any  feeling  of  Christ,  any 
drop  of  heavenly  dew,  any  spark  of  God's 
good  Spirit  within  you,  stir  it  up:  be  careful 
to  build  and  edify,  first  yourselves,  and  then 
your  flocks,  in  his  most  holy  faith.  I  say, 
first  yourselves;  for  he,  which  will  set  the 
hearts  of  other  men  on  fire  with  the  love  of 
Christ,  must  himself  burn  with  love.  It  is 
want  of  faith  in  ourselves,  my  brethren, 
which  makes  us  watchless,  (careless,)  in 
building  others.  We  forsake  the  Lord's  in- 
heritance, and  feel  it  not.  What  is  the  rea- 
son of  this?  Our  own  desires  are  settled 
where  they  should  not  be.  We  ourselves 
are  like  those  women,  which  have  a  longing 
to  eat  coals,  and  lime,  and  filth;  we  are  fed, 
some  with  honour,  some  with  ease,  some 
with  wealth.  The  Gospel  waxeth  loathsome 
and  unpleasant  in  our  taste.  How  should 
we  then  have  a  care  to  feed  others  whh  that 
we  cannot  fancy  ourselves?      If  faith  wax 


76  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

cold  and  slender  in  the  heart  of  the  prophet, 
it  will  soon  perish  from  the  ears  of  the  peo- 
ple.'' 'Tis  not  needful  to  add  any  reflections 
upon  this  passage;  every  one  will  readily 
make  them  for  himself;  we  are,  however, 
reminded  thereby  of  Solomon's  words, 
(Eccl.  i.  9,  10.)  "There  is  no  new  thing 
under  the  sun;  is  there  any  thing  whereof  it 
may  be  said,  see  this  is  new?  It  hath  been 
already  of  old  time  which  was  before  us." 
(Eccl.  iii.  15.)  "That  which  hath  been,  is 
now,  and  that  which  is  to  be,  hath  already 
been." 

To  my  shame  be  it  spoken,  though  I  had 
twice  subscribed  the  articles  which  allow  the 
book  of  Homilies  to  be  sound  and  wholesome 
doctrine,  I  had  never  yet  seen  them,  and  un- 
derstood not  what  that  doctrine  was.  But 
now,  being  engaged  in  a  serious  inquiry  after 
truth,  and  Hooker's  works  having  given  me 
a  most  favourable  opinion  of  these  old  au- 
thors, I  was  inclined  to  examine  them;  and 
read  part  of  the  book  with  some  degree  of 
attention.  And  though  many  things  seemed 
hard  sayings,  that  I  could  not  receive;  yet 
many  others  were  made  very  useful  to  me, 
especially  concerning  justification.  In  short, 
I  perceived  that  that  doctrine  which  I  had 
hitherto  despised  as  methodistical,  was  the 
standard  doctrine  of  the  established  church, 
when  that  book  was  composed;  and,  conse- 
quently, that  it  was  so  still:  for  that  book 
has  lost  none  of  its  authority;  though  much 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        77 

of  its  esteem  with  those  who  subscribe  the 
thirty-nine  articles.  This  weakened  my  pre- 
judice, though  it  did  not  prove  the  doctrine 
true. 

About  this  time  anew  and  unexpected  ef- 
fect was  produced  by  my  preachitig.  I  had 
hitherto  been  satisfied  to  see  people  regularly 
frequent  the  church,  listen  attentively  to 
what  was  discoursed,  and  lead  moral,  decent 
lives.  The  way  in  which  I  had  been  led  was 
so  smooth,  and  the  progress  I  had  made  so 
gradual;  I  had  lately  so  little  experienced  dis- 
tressing concern  for  my  own  soul,  and  had  so 
little  acquaintance  with  persons  conversant 
with  these  matters,  that  though  I  declared 
the  strictness,  and  spirituality,  and  sanction 
of  the  law  of  God  in  an  alarming  manner,  yet 
it  never  occurred  to  me  but  that  they  who 
profited  thereby,  would  proceed  in  the  same 
easy  gradual  way.  But  I  had  scarce  begun 
this  new  method  of  preaching,  when  applica- 
tion was  made  to  me  by  persons  in  great  dis- 
tress about  their  souls;  their  conscience  being 
awakened  to  a  sense  of  their  lost  condition 
by  nature  and  practice,  they  were  anxious  in 
inquiring,  what  they  must  do  to  be  saved? 
I  knew  not  well  what  to  say  to  them,  my 
views  being  very  clouded,  and  my  sentiments 
very  perplexed  concerning  justification:  but 
being  willing  to  give  them  the  best  counsel  I 
could,  I  exhorted  them  to  believe  in  the  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  though  I  was  neither  capable 
of  instructing  them  concerning  the  true  na- 


78  THE   FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

ture  of  faith,  nor  in  what  manner  they  were 
to  seek  for  it.  However,  I  better  understood 
my  own  meaning,  when  I  advised  them  to 
the  study  of  the  Scriptures,  accompanied 
with  prayer  to  God,  to  be  led  to  the  right 
understanding  of  them;  and  when  I  incul- 
cated amendment  of  life.  In  this  manner  the 
Lord  slowly  brought  them  forward:  and 
though,  for  want  of  a  better  instructer,  they 
were  a  considerable  time  before  they  arrived 
at  establishment  in  the  faith,  yet  some  of 
them,  having  their  minds  less  leavened  with 
prejudice  and  the  pride  of  reasoning,  were 
more  apt  scholars  in  the  school  of  Christ  than 
I  was,  and  got  the  start  of  me  in  the  know- 
ledge both  of  doctrine  and  duty;  and  in  their 
turns  became,  though  without  intending  it,  in 
some  things  my  monitors,  to  my  no  small  ad- 
vantage. 

This  singular  circumstance  of  being  the 
instrument  of  a  work  of  grace  in  others, 
whilst  I  myself  so  little  understood  the  true 
Gospel  of  Jesus  Christ,  very  much  increased 
my  perplexity.  I  became  doubly  earnest  to 
know  the  truth  lest  I  should  mislead  those 
who  confided  their  precious  souls  to  me,  as 
their  spiritual  instructer.  This  added  to  my 
diligence  in  reading  and  meditating  on  the 
word  of  God;  and  made  me  more  earnest  in 
prayer  to  be  guided  to  the  knowledge  of  the 
truth.  And  under  every  difficulty  I  con- 
stantly had  recourse  unto  the  Lord  to  pre- 
serve me  from  ignorance  and  error,  and  to 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         79 

enable  me  to  distinguish  between  the  doc- 
trines of  his  word,  and  the  inventions  and 
traditions  of  men. 

At  this  time  I  established  a  weekly  lecture 
for  expounding  Scripture  in  my  other  parish, 
which  occasioned  my  further  acquaintance 
with  the  various  parts  of  the  word  of  God. 
It  was  my  general  practice  in  penning  these 
lectures,  to  search  out  all  the  Scriptures  re- 
ferred to  in  the  margin,  and  all  others  I  could 
recollect  upon  the  subject,  and  to  make  use 
of  them  in  explaining  each  other.  This  me- 
thod enabled  me  to  store  my  memory  with 
texts  of  Scripture,  and  made  way  for  a  greater 
exactness  in  discussing  doctrinal  subjects, 
than  I  had  hitherto  been  acquained  with. 

In  the  course  of  this  winter,  1777,  I  was 
engaged  in  deep  meditation  upon  Luke  xi.  9. 
13;  concerning  the  Holy  Spirit  being  given 
in  answer  to  prayer.  And,  at  length,  having 
made  a  collection  of  all  the  Scriptures  I  could 
meet  with  which  respected  that  important 
doctrine,  and  having  diligently  compared 
them  together,  and  meditated  upon  them, 
and  besought  the  Lord  to  fulfil  the  promise 
to  my  soul,  I  wrote  two  sermons  upon  the 
subject;  one  from  Luke  xi.  13. — "If  ye  then, 
being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts  unto 
your  children,  how  much  more  shall  your 
heavenly  Father  give  the  Holy  Spirit  to  them 
that  ask  him."  The  other  from  James  i.  16, 
17. — "Do  not  err,  my  beloved  brethren, 
every  good  gift,  and  every  perfect  gift,  is  from 


80  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH.* 

above,  and  cometh  down  from  the  Father  of 
Lights."  By  this  my  views  of  a  Christian's 
privileges  and  duties  in  this  respect,  were 
much  enlarged,  and  my  requests  were  made 
known  unto  the  Lord  in  a  more  full,  exact, 
and  believing  manner,  than  heretofore. — 
Though  much  in  the  dark  in  many  important 
matters  respecting  the  person,  offices,  and 
work  of  the  Holy  Ghost ;  yet  I  had  discover- 
ed more  of  what  was  promised  concerning 
him,  and  therefore  knew  better  what  to  ask 
for. 

My  obhgations  to  Bishop  Beveridge  are 
next  to  be  acknowledged.  When  I  first  be- 
gan to  peruse  his  sermons,  I  conceived  a  mean 
opinion  of  him,  and  it  was  sometime  before 
I  could  prevail  with  myself  to  examine  any 
further  into  his  writings;  but  being  now  fur- 
ther advanced  in  my  inquiry  after  truth, 
those  singularities  which  at  first  offended  me 
became  tolerable,  and  I  began  to  relish  the 
simplicity,  spirituality,  and  love  of  Christ, 
and  affection  for  souls,  which  eminently  shine 
forth  in  many  places  of  his  works.  Indeed  I 
received  considerable  instruction  from  him ; 
but  especially  his  sermon  on  the  real  satisfac- 
tion made  by  the  death  of  Christ  for  the  sins 
of  believers,  was  the  blessed  means  of  clearing 
up  my  views,  and  confirming  my  faith  re- 
specting that  fundamental  doctrine  of  Chris- 
tianity. On  Good  Friday,  1777,  I  preached 
a  sermon  upon  that  subject,  from  Isaiah  liii. 
6.     "All  we  like  sheep  have  gone  astray; — 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         81 

we  have  turned  every  one  to  his  own  way, 
and  the  Lord  hath  laid,  (hath  caused  to  light,) 
on  him  the  iniquities  of  us  all."  Wherein  I 
endeavoured  to  prove  that  which  hath  ever 
since  been  the  sole  foundation  of  all  my 
hopes;  namely,  that  Christ  indeed  bore  the 
sins  of  all  who  should  ever  truly  believe  in  all 
their  guilt,  condennnation,  and  deserved  pun- 
ishment in  his  body  on  the  tree.  And  I  ex- 
plicitly avowed  my  belief,  that  Christ,  as  our 
surety  and  bondsman,  stood  in  our  law  place, 
to  answer  all  our  obligations,  and  to  satisfy 
divine  justice,  and  the  dem.ands  of  the  law 
for  our  offences:  and  I  publicly  renounced, 
as  erroneous  and  grievous  perversions  of 
Scripture,  all  my  former  explanations  and 
interpretations  of  these  subjects. 

This  was  the  first  doctrine  in  which  I  was 
clearly  and  fully  brought  to  acknowledge  the 
truth,  though  I  had  with  no  little  earnestness 
for  two  years  been  inquiring  about  it;  to  so 
astonishing  a  degree  was  my  blinded  under- 
standing filled  with  prejudice  against  the  doc- 
trines of  the  word  of  God ! — Hitherto  they 
had  been  foolishness  to  me,  but  now,  under 
the  divine  teaching,  I  began,  though  very 
dimly,  to  discern  the  wisdom  of  God  in  them. 

I  say  dimly,  for  I  was  still  under  many  and 
great  mistakes,  and  in  much  ignorance  in  the 
most  important  matters.  I  knew  sin  to  be  a 
transgression  of  God's  law;  but  I  did  not  see 
its  odious  deformity,  in  being  deliberate  re- 
bellion  against  God's  sovereign  authority, 


82  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

and  an  express  contradiction  to  his  holy  na- 
ture :  in  charging  God  foolishly,  as   either 
wanting  wisdom  or  goodness  in  laying  such 
restraints  upon  the  inclinations  of  his  crea- 
tures; and  as  tending  to  overturn  all  subor- 
dination in  the  universe,  and  to  introduce 
anarchy,   confusion,   and    misery,   into   the 
whole  creation  of  God.     My  own  best  ac- 
tions I  perceived  to  be  defiled;  but  I  under- 
stood not  that  this  was  the  effect  of  a  deprav- 
ed nature,  and  a  polluted  heart.     The  doc- 
trine of  original  sin,  as  the  fruitful  root  of 
these  multiplied  evils,  was  not  yet  a  part  of 
my  creed.     Inconsistently  I  was  an  Arian  or 
a  Clarkist  in  my  sentiments  concerning  the 
person  of  Christ,  and  the  divinity  of  the  Holy 
Ghost.     Some  faint  conception  I  had  formed 
of  that  sanctifying  work  of  the  Holy  Spirit 
in  the  soul;  the  beginnings  of  it  I  little  un- 
derstood.    And  I  continued  to  entertain  an 
implacable  enmity  to  the  doctrine  of  election, 
and  those  connected  with  it.     But  my  faith 
was  now  fixed  upon   a  crucified  Saviour ; 
(though  I  dishonoured  his  person  and  denied 
his  deity,)  and  I  had  a  sincere  desire  of  being 
devoted  to  the  Lord.  He,  therefore,  in  mercy 
accepted  his  own  work  in  my  heart,  and  par- 
doned all  that  was  mine,  and  at  length  extri- 
cated me  out  of  that  labyrinth  of  difficulties, 
in  which  I  was  entangled. 

About  this  time,  in  the  course  of  my  lec- 
tures, our  Lord's  discourse  with  Nicodemus 
came  again  under  my  consideration.     Not- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        83 

withstanding  much  meditation  and  many 
prayers,  I  could  not  satisfy  my  mind  about 
it.  I  was  convinced  some  internal  change 
must  be  implied  in  the  expressions,  being 
born  from  above,  and  being  born  of  the  Spi- 
rit; and  according  to  what  I  had  experienced, 
I  endeavoured  to  explain  it;  but  I  was  much 
in  the  dark,  and  had  many  doubts  whether  I 
was  right  or  wrong. 

Hitherto,  excepting  "Leland  on  the  De- 
istical  Writers,'^  I  had  not  read  any  book 
written  by  a  dissenter,  with  the  least  degree 
of  candour  and  attention;  but  at  this  crisis  I 
met  with  the  first  volume  of  Doctor  Evan's 
sermons,  entitled,  "  The  Christian  Temper.'' 
I  was  induced  to  read  it  by  the  recommenda- 
tion of  a  friend  ;  but  such  was  my  proud, 
foolish  heart,  that  I  opened  it  with  great  pre- 
judice, because  I  understood  the  author  was 
a  dissenter.  However,  this  book  came  with 
a  blessing ;  for  by  perusing  it,  I  at  length  per- 
ceived, that  fallen  man,  both  body  and  soul, 
is  indeed  carnal,  and  sold  under  sin;  that  by 
nature,  in  every  man  living,  the  reasonable 
and  immortal  part  is  destitute  of  spirituality, 
immersed  in  matter,  and  by  a  dishonourable 
and  miserable  prostitution,  is  given  up  to 
make  provision  for  the  flesh  to  fulfil  the  lust 
thereof;  and  that  man  must  be  renewed  in 
the  spirit  of  his  mind,  new  created  unto  good 
works,  born  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  made  par- 
taker of  a  new  and  divine  nature,  before  he 
can  possibly  be  made  meet  for,  or  admitted 


84  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

into  the  kingdom  of  God.  In  a  very  little 
time  all  my  difficulties  about  this  matter  van- 
ished, and  the  truth  became  so  exceedingly 
plain  and  evident,  that  until  I  had  made  the 
experiment,  I  could  scarcely  be  persuaded, 
but  that  every  person  who  heard  it  rightly 
explained  must  assent  to  it.  This  doctrine  I 
have  ever  since  invariably  preached  with 
good  effect,  I  trust,  in  opening  the  eyes  of 
sinners,  and  turning  them  from  darkness  unto 
light,  and  from  the  power  of  Satan  unto  God. 
(Acts  xxvi.  28.) 

About   this  time,  my  acquaintance  with 

Mr. was  resumed.  From  the  conclusion 

of  our  correspondence  in  December,  1775, 
till  April,  1777,  it  had  been  almost  wholly 
dropped.  To  speak  plainly,  I  did  not  care  for 
his  company;  I  did  not  mean  to  make  any  use 
of  him  as  an  instructer,and  was  unwilling  the 
world  should  think  us  any-wise  connected. 

But  under  discouraging  circumstances  I 
had  occasion  to  call  upon  him;  and  his  dis- 
course comforted  and  edified  me,  and  my 
heart  being,  by  his  means,  relieved  from  its 
burden,  became  susceptible  of  affection  to 
him.  From  that  time  I  was  inwardly  pleased 
to  have  him  for  my  friend  ;  though  not  as 
now,  rejoiced  to  call  him  so.  However,  I  had 
no  thoughts  of  learning  doctrinal  truth  from 
him,  and  was  ashamed  to  be  detected  in  his 
company;  but  I  sometimes  stole  away  to 
spend  an  hour  with  him.  About  the  same 
time  I  once  heard  him  preach,  but  it  was  still 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        85 

foolishness  to  me ;  his  sermon  being  much 
upon  the  believer's  experience :  and,  there- 
fore, though  I  loved  and  valued  him,  I  con- 
sidered him  as  a  person  misled  by  enthusias- 
tical  notions,  and  strenuously  insisted  that 
we  should  never  think  alike,  till  we  met  in 
heaven. 

All  along,  in  the  progress  of  this  inquiry,  I 
grew  more  and  more  concerned  about  my 
character;  I  saw  myself  continually  verging 
nearer  and  nearer  to  that  scheme  of  doctrine 
which  the  world  called  Methodism:  nor  could 
I  help  it,  without  doing  violence  to  my  con- 
victions. I  had,  indeed,  set  out  with  the 
avowed,  and,  I  trust,  sincere  resolution  of 
seeking  for  the  truth,  as  impartially  as  possi- 
ble; and  of  embracing  it  wherever  I  found 
it,  without  respect  to  interest,  reputation,  or 
any  worldly  consideration  whatsoever:  I  had 
taken  patiently,  and  supported  comfortably, 
the  loss  of  my  opening  prosepct  of  prefer- 
ment, I  trust  mainly  from  the  supports  of 
grace,  and  the  consciousness  of  having  acted 
with  integrity;  but  I  am  not  sure,  but  there 
might  therewith  creep  in  some  consola- 
tion to  my  deceitful  heart,  from  a  vain  imagi- 
nation that  my  character  would  be  no  loser. 
Ambitious  thirst  after  the  praise  of  men  was 
much  more  my  peculiar  corruption,  than 
covetousness;  and  I  had  been  in  no  ordinary 
degree  proud  of  my  natural  understanding ; 
the  people  called  Methodists,  I  had  been 
accustomed  to  hear  mentioned   with  con- 


86  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  I 

tempt,  as  very  silly,  as  fools,  and  sometimes 
as  madaien ;  with  no  small  degree  of  com- 
placency, and  self-preference,  I  too  had  de- 
spised them,  as  weak  enthusiasts.  But  I  now 
began  to  be  apprehensive,  that  the  tables 
were  about  to  be  turned  upon  me;  if  I  pro- 
fessed and  teached  these  doctrines,  I  must  no 
longer  be  considered  as  a  man  of  sober  un- 
derstanding, but  one  of  those  persons,  whose 
heads  being  naturally  weak,  had  been  turned 
by  religious  studies  ;  and  who,  having  fallen 
under  the  power  of  enthusiasm,  are  become 
no  better  than  fools. 

This  was  the  sharpest  trial  I  passed  through, 
having  not  yet  learned,  that,  "when  we  are 
reproached  for  the  name  of  Christ,  happy  are 
we."  Nor  did  I  remember  that  the  Apostles 
were  fools  for  Christ's  sake;  were  deemed  to 
be  beside  themselves  ;  went  through  evil  re- 
port, and  good  report,  as  deceivers,  and  yet 
true ;  that  they  were  every  where  spoken 
against,  as  the  fellows  that  turned  the  world 
upside  down  ;  were  treated  as  vain  babblers, 
and  accounted  the  filth  of  the  world,  and  the 
ofFscouring  of  all  things.  I  did  not  consider 
that  Jesus  himself,  the  brightness  of  the 
Father's  glory,  the  Word  and  Wisdom  of 
God,  who  went  about  doing  good,  and  spake 
as  never  man  spake,  was  not  only  rejected, 
but  despised,  as  not  worth  hearing,  as  one 
that  had  a  devil,  as  in  league  with  the  devil, 
as  a  blasphemer,  a  Samaritan,  a  madman,  a 
devil  himself.    I  read  indeed,  but  my  under- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        87 

Standing  was  not  yet  opened  to  understand 
such  plain  Scriptures  as  these,  (John  xv.  19, 
20;)  "If  ye  were  of  the  world,  the  world 
would  love  his  own  :  but  because  ye  are  not 
of  the  world,  but  I  have  chosen  you  out  of 
the  world;  therefore  the  world  hateth  you. 
Remember  the  word  that  I  said  unto  you  : 
the  servant  is  not  greater  than  the  Lord;  if 
they  have  persecuted  me,  they  will  also  per- 
secute you."  And  Matt.  x.  24,  2^  :  "  The 
disciple  is  not  above  his  master,  nor  the  ser- 
vant above  his  Lord.  If  they  have  called 
the  master  of  the  house  Beelzebub,  how  much 
more  shall  they  call  them  of  the  household?'' 
And  Matt.  v.  11,  12:  "Blessed  are  ye, when 
men  shall  revile  you,  and  persecute  you,  and 
say  all  manner  of  evil  against  you  falsely,  for 
my  sake.  Rejoice,  and  be  exceeding  glad,  for 
great  is  your  reward  in  heaven;  for  so  per- 
secuted they  the  prophets,  that  were  before 
you."  Not  being  aware  of  these  conse- 
quences, when  my  resolution  was  first  form- 
ed, I  was  as  one  who  hath  begun  to  build 
without  counting  the  cost,  and  was  greatly 
disturbed,  when  I  saw  the  favourite  idol  of 
my  proud  heart,  my  character,  in  such  immi- 
nent danger. 

It  must  be  supposed  this  would  make  me 
cautious  what  doctrines  I  admitted  into  my 
creed;  and  unwilling  to  be  convinced,  that 
those  things  were  true  and  miportant,  the 
profession  of  which  was  sure  to  bring  infamy 
on  my  character;   and  that  even  after  the 


88  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

fullest  conviction,  T  should  thereby  be  ren- 
dered very  careful  in  what  manner  I  preach- 
ed them.  In  general,  however,  though  the 
conflict  was  sharp,  I  was  enabled  to  be  faith- 
ful. The  words,  "necessity  is  laid  upon  me, 
yea,  wo  is  me,  if  I  preach  not  the  gospel,'^ 
were  commonly  upon  my  mind  when  I  pen- 
ned my  sermons,  and  when  I  entered  the 
pulpit;  and  though  when  a  bold  declaration 
of  what  I  believed  to  be  the  truth,  with  an 
offensive  application  of  it  to  the  consciences 
of  my  hearers,  drew  opposition  and  calumny 
upon  me,  I  have  secretly  resolved  to  be  more 
circumspect  the  next  time;  yet,  when  that 
time  came,  my  heart  and  conscience  being 
both  engaged,  I  have  not  dared  to  conceal 
one  tittle  of  what  appeared  to  me  to  be  true, 
and  to  promise  usefuhiess.  But  whilst  with 
perturbation  of  mind,  and  with  many  dis- 
quieting apprehensions,  I  declared  the  mes- 
sage with  which  I  supposed  myself  to  be 
intrusted;  to  screen  myself  from  the  charge 
of  Methodism,  and  to  soften  the  oflfence,  I 
was  frequently  throwing  out  slighting  ex- 
pressions, and  bringing  the  charge  of  enthu- 
siasm against  those  who  preached  such  doc- 
trines as  I  was  not  yet  convinced  of  On 
the  other  hand,  my  concern  about  my  cha- 
racter quickened  me  very  much  in  prayer, 
and  increased  my  diligence  in  searching  the 
Scriptures,  that  I  might  be  sure  I  was  not,  at 
this  expense,  preaching  cunningly  devised 
fables,  instead  of  feeding  the  souls  committed 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        89 

to  my  care,  with  the  unadulterated  milk  of 
gospel  truth. 

In  this  state  of  my  mind,  which  is  easier 
understood  by  experience  than  description,  I 
met  whh  Mr.  Venn's  Essay  on  the  prophecy 
of  Zacharias.  I  was  no  stranger  to  the  cha- 
racter he  bore  in  the  eye  of  the  world,  and 
did  not  begin  to  read  his  book  with  great 
alacrity,  or  expectation;  however,  the  im- 
portance of  the  subjects  therein  treated  of 
engaged  my  attention,  and  some  degree  of 
impartiality  as  I  proceeded.  I  disapproved, 
indeed,  and  quarrelled  with  many  things; 
but  others  evidenced  their  truth  and  impor- 
tance to  my  understanding  and  conscience  ; 
especially,  I  found  a  word  in  season,  respect- 
ing my  weak  and  wicked  shame  and  atten- 
tion to  character,  in  inquiring  after  divine 
truth,  and  in  the  performance  of  the  impor- 
tant duties  of  a  gospel  minister.  These 
solemn  words  in  particular  went  home  to 
my  heart:  "  If  the  spirit  of  the  world,  pride, 
carelessness  respecting  the  soul,  and  the  ne- 
glect of  Christ,  be  not  hateful  to  God,  and 
destructive  to  men,  the  gospel,  (with  reve- 
rence I  speak  it,)  is  an  imposition.  Do  you 
abhor  that  thought  as  blasphemy  ?  Abhor  as 
much  a  fawning  upon  Christ  from  year  to 
year  in  your  closet,  calling  him  there  your 
Lord  and  your  God:  and  then  coming  out, 
to  consult  the  world,  how  far  they  will  allow 
you  to  obey  his  plain  commands,  without 
saying  you  are  a  Methodist  ?  Cease  rather 
8 


90  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  I 

to  profess  any  allegiance  to  Christ  than 
treat  him,  under  professions  of  duty,  with 
snch  contempt.  ''I  would,"  saith  he  to  the 
Church  of  Laodicea,  "thou  wert  cold  or  hot, 
so  then  because  thou  art  lukewarm,  and 
neither  cold  or  hot,  I  will  spew  thee  out  of 
my  mouth."    Rev.  iii.  15,  16. 

I  should  as  easily  be  convinced  that  there 
was  no  Holy  Ghost,  as  that  he  was  not  pre- 
sent with  my  soul  when  I  read  this  passage, 
and  the  whole  of  what  Mr.  Venn  has  writ- 
ten upon  the  subject.  It  came  to  my  heart 
with  such  power,  conviction,  and  demonstra- 
tion of  the  Spirit,  that  it  lifted  me  up  above 
the  world,  and  produced  that  victory  which 
faith  alone  can  give;  and  that  liberty,  which 
uniformly  attends  the  presence  of  the  Spirit 
of  the  Lord.  I  became  at  once  ashamed  of 
my  base  ingratitude  and  foolish  fears;  and 
was  filled  with  such  consolation,  and  rejoic- 
ing even  in  the  prospect  of  sacrificing  my 
character,  and  running  the  risk  of  infamy 
and  contempt,  as  made  me  entirely  satisfied 
on  that  head;  and,  some  few  unbelieving 
seasons  excepted,  I  have  ever  since  been 
very  little  troubled  about  being  accounted 
an  enthusiast,  or  a  Methodist. 

But  still  I  remained  as  much,  and  am  now 
more  afraid  of  enthusiasm  itself,  than  ever; 
and  the  nearer  I  verged  to  what  I  had  igno- 
rantly  supposed  to  be  enthusiasm,  the  more 
apprehensive  I  became,  lest  my  earnestness 
in  such  interesting  inquiries,  and  the  warmth 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.         91 

of  my  natural  spirit,  thus  occasionally  in- 
creased, should  put  me  off  my  guard,  and 
betray  me  into  delusions  and  mistakes. — 
From  this  danger  I  could  obtain  no  security, 
but  by  keeping  close  to  the  study  of  the 
word  of  God;  and  by  being  earnest  and 
particular  in  praying  to  be  preserved  from 
enthusiasm,  and  to  be  enabled  to  distinguish 
between  the  pure  revelations  of  the  Holy 
Spirit,  and  the  inventions  of  men,  or  the  de- 
lusions of  the  spirit  of  lies. 

The  doctrine  of  a  trinity  of  co-equal  per- 
sons in  the  Unity  of  the  Godhead,  had  been 
hitherto  no  part  of  my  creed.  I  had  long 
been  accustomed  to  despise  this  great  mys- 
tery of  godliness.  I  had  quarrelled  with  the 
articles  of  the  established  church  about  this 
doctrine:  I  had  been  very  positive  and  open 
in  my  declarations  against  it;  and  my  un- 
humbled  reason  still  retained  objections  to 
it.  But  about  June,  1777,  I  began  to  be 
troubled  with  doubts  about  it,  and  to  suspect 
the  truth  of  Dr.  Clarke's  hypothesis.  I  had 
just  read  Mr.  Lindsey's  Apology  and  Sequel. 
Before  I  saw  them,  I  had  made  a  jest  of 
those  who  thought  of  confuting  him  on  the 
orthodox  scheme,  and  was  not  without 
thoughts  of  maintaining  Dr.  Clarke's  system 
against  him.  But  when  I  understood  that 
he  claimed  Dr.  Clarke  as  a  Socinian,  I  was 
surprised,  and  engaged  in  much  anxious 
consideration  of  the  subject.  The  more  I 
studied,  the  more  I  was  dissatisfied;  many 


92  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

things  now  first  occurred  to  me,  as  strong 
objections  against  my  own  sentiments  upon 
that  head:  and  being  perplexed,  and  unable 
to  make  out  a  scheme  for  myself,  I  easily 
perceived  that  I  was  not  qualified  to  dispute 
with  another  person.  My  pride  and  my  con- 
victions struggled  hard  for  the  victory;  I  was 
very  unwilling  to  become  a  Trinitarian  in 
the  strict  sense  of  the  word,  though  in  my 
own  sense  I  had  for  some  time  pretended  to 
be  one;  and  yet  the  more  I  considered  it, 
the  more  I  was  dissatisfied  with   all  other 

systems.    My  esteem  for  Mr. ,  was  also 

now  very  much  increased ;  and  though  I  had 
hitherto  concealed  this  part  of  my  sentiments 
from  him,  yet  I  knew  his  to  be  very  differ- 
ent; and  though  I  was  not  willing  to  be 
taught  by  him  in  other  matters,  yet  in  this 
respect,  finding  his  opinion  the  same  which 
in  all  former  ages  of  the  church  hath  been 
accounted  orthodox,  while  that  which  I  held 
had  all  along  been  branded  as  heretical,  my 
fears  of  a  mistake  were  thereby  exceedingly 
mcreased.  In  this  perplexity  I  applied  to 
the  Lord  and  besought  him  to  lead  me  to  a 
settled  conclusion  what  was  the  truth.  After 
much  meditation  upon  this  subject,  together 
with  a  careful  examination  of  all  the  Scrip- 
tures which  I  then  understood  to  relate  there- 
to, accompanied  with  a  hearty  prayer  for 
divine  teaching,  I  was  at  length  constrained 
to  renounce,  as  utterly  indefensible,  all  my 
former  sentiments,  and  to  accede  to  that  doc- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NAREATIVE. 


93 


trine  which  I  had  so  long  despised.  I  saw, 
and  could  no  longer  avoid  seeing,  that  the 
offices  and  works  attributed  in  Scripture  to 
the  Son  and  Holy  Ghost,  are  such  as  none 
but  the  infinite  God  could  perform;  that  it  is 
a  contradiction  to  believe  the  real,  and  con- 
sequently infinite  satisfaction  to  divine  jus- 
tice made  by  the  death  of  Christ,  without 
believing  him  to  be  very  God  of  very  God: 
nor  could  the  Holy  Ghost  give  spiritual  life 
unto,  and  dwell  in  the  hearts  of  unbelievers 
at  the  same  time  to  suit  his  work  of  convinc- 
ing, enlightening,  teaching,  strengthening, 
sanctifying  and  comforting  to  the  several 
cases  of  every  individual,  were  he  not  the 
omniscient,  omnipresent,  infinite  God.  And 
being  assured  from  reason,  as  well  as  from 
Scripture,  that  there  is  not,  and  cannot  be 
more  Gods  than  one,  Iwas  driven  from  my 
reasonings,  and  constrained  to  submit  my 
natural  understanding  to  divine  revelation; 
and  allowing  that  the  incomprehensible  God 
alone  can  fully  know  the  unsearchable  mys- 
teries of  his  own  divine  nature,  and  manner 
of  his  own  existence  to  adopt  the  doctrine  of 
a  Trinity  in  Unity,  in  order  to  preserve  con- 
sistency in  my  own  scheme.  But  it  was  a 
considerable  time  before  I  was  disentangled 
from  my  embarrassments  on  this  subject. 

Hitherto  my  prejudices  against  Mr.  Her- 
vey,  as  a  writer  upon  doctrinal  subjects,  had 
been  very  strong.  I  thought  him  a  very 
pious  man,and  I  had  read  with  pleasure  some 


94  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

parts  of  his  meditations;  but  having  consid- 
ered him  an  enthusiast,  I  had  no  curiosity 
to  read  any  other  of  his  writings.  But  about 
July,  1777, 1  providentially  met  with  his  dia- 
logues and  letters  between  Theron  and  As- 
pasio,  and  opening  the  book,  I  was  much 
pleased  with  the  first  passage  on  which  I  cast 
my  eye.  This  engaged  me  to  read  the  whole 
with  uncommon  attention:  nor  did  I,  in 
twice  perusing  it,  ever  meet  with  any  thing 
contrary  to  my  own  sentiments,  without  im- 
mediately beseeching  the  Lord  to  guide  me 
to  the  truth.  I  trust  the  Lord  heard  and  an- 
swered these  my  prayers:  for  though  I  could 
not  but  dissent  from  him,  (as  I  still  do,)  in 
some  few  things,  yet  I  was  very  much  en- 
lightened thereby,  in  every  thing  relative  to 
our  fallen,  guilty,  lost  and  helplessly  misera- 
ble state  by  nature;  and  the  way  and  man- 
ner in  which  the  believer  is  accounted  and 
accepted  as  righteous  in  the  presence  of  a 
just,  holy,  and  heart-searching,  a  faithful,  and 
unchangeable  God;  especially  his  animated 
description  and  application  of  the  stag-chase, 
cleared  up  this  important  matter  to  my  mind, 
more  than  any  thing  I  had  hitherto  met  with 
upon  the  subject. 

I  had  now  acceded  to  most  of  the  doctrines 
which  at  present  I  believe  and  preach;  ex- 
cept the  doctrine  of  personal  election,  and 
those  which  depend  on,  and  are  connected 
with  it.  These  were  still  foolishness  to  me, 
and  so  late  as  August,  1777,  I  told  my  friend 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        95 

Mr. ,  that  I  was  sure  I  never  should  be 

of  his  sentiments  on  that  head;  to  which  he 
answered  that  if  I  never  mentioned  this  sub- 
ject, he  never  should,  as  we  were  now  agreed 
in  all  he  judged  absolutely  needful;  but  he 
had  not  the  least  doubt  of  my  very  shortly 
becoming  a  Calvinist,  as  I  should  presently 
discover  my  system  of  doctrine  to  be  other- 
wise incomplete  and  inconsistent  with  itself. 
And,  indeed,  by  this  time  I  had  so  repeat- 
edly discovered  myself  to  be  mistaken  where 
I  had  been  very  confident,  that  I  began  to 
suspect  myself  in  every  thing  wherein  I  en- 
tertained sentiments  different  from  those  with 
whom  I  conversed.  This  did  not  influence 
me  to  take  their  opinions  upon  trust;  but  it 
disposed  me  more  particularly  and  atten- 
tively to  consider  them;  and  in  every  per- 
plexity to  have  recourse  to  the  Lord,  to  be 
preserved  from  error,  and  guided  to  the 
truth. 

About  the  same  time  also,  I  began  to  have 
more  frequent  applications  made  to  me  by 
persons  under  deep  concern  for  their  souls. 
My  heart  was  much  engaged  in  this  new 
employment;  I  was  much  troubled  to  see 
their  pressing  anxieties,  and  to  hear  their 
doubts,  difllculties,  and  objections  against 
themselves.  Being  sincerely  desirous  to  in- 
struct them  right,  and  to  lead  them  on  to 
establishment  and  comfort,  I  felt  my  defi- 
ciency, and  seemed  to  have  no  ground  to  go 
on,  nor  any  counsel  to  give  them,  but  what 


96  THE   FORCE   OF   TRUTH  : 

led  them  into  greater  perplexity,  instead  of 
relieving  them.  In  this  case  I  earnestly  be- 
sought the  Lord  to  instruct  me  what  word  in 
season  to  speak  unto  them. 

Thus  circumstanced,  I  read  "  Witsius^ 
Economy  of  the  Covenants,"  and  observed 
what  use  he  made  of  the  doctrine  of  election 
for  this  very  purpose.  This  convinced  me 
that  the  doctrine,  if  true,  would  afford  that 
ground  of  comfort  which  my  people  wanted. 
It  would  evince  that  their  being  awakened 
out  of  a  careless  state,  to  an  earnest  concern 
for,  and  anxiety  about  their  souls,  and  to  an 
hearty  desire  of  cleaving  unto  the  Lord;  and 
their  want  of  some  security  that  they  should 
not,  through  the  deceitfulness  of  their  own 
hearts,  their  own  weakness,  the  entangle- 
ments of  the  world,  and  the  temptations  of 
Satan,  fall  back  again  into  their  former  course 
of  sin,  was  the  work  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  If 
this  were  wrought  in  consequence  of  the  de- 
terminate purpose  and  foreknowledge  of  God 
respecting  them,  it  would  follow  from  the 
entire  and  undeserved  freeness  of  this  first 
gift,  bestowed  on  them,  when  neither  desiring 
nor  seeking  it,  but  being  in  a  state  of  enmity 
and  rebellion  against,  and  neglect  of  God,  and 
from  his  unchangeableness  in  his  purposes, 
and  faithfulness  to  his  promises, that  he  would 
assuredly  carry  on,  and  complete  this  good 
work  of  his  grace,  and  keep  the  believing 
soul  as  in  a  castle,  through  faith  unto  salva- 
tion. 


AN   AUTHENTIC    NARRATIVE.  97 

Having  now  considered  one  use  of  this 
doctrine,  which  before  I  objected  to  as  use- 
less and  pernicious,  I  began  to  consider  how 
the  other  objections  which  I  had  been  accus- 
tomed to  urge  against  it  might  be  answered. 
'Tis  true  that  I  began  to  consider  this  whole 
matter  as  a  mystery  not  to  be  comprehended, 
nor  yet  too  curiously  searched  into  by  man's 
natural  reason,  but  humbly  received  by  faith, 
just  as  far  as  it  is  plainly  revealed  in  God's 
unerring  word.  Many  objections,  therefore, 
I  was  constrained  to  leave  unanswered,  re- 
solving them  into  the  incomprehensible  na- 
ture of  God,  whose  judgments,  and  still  more 
his  counsels,  are,  as  the  great  deep,  unfath- 
omable ;  and  into  the  sovereignty  of  God, who 
does  what  he  will  with  his  own,  and  gives  no 
account  of  any  of  his  matters,  let  who  will 
presume  to  find  fault :  and  into  his  declara- 
tions, that  his  thoughts  and  ways  are  as  far 
above  our  thoughts  and  ways,  as  the  heavens 
are  above  the  earth.  Here  I  left  this  matter, 
conscious  at  length,  that  such  knowledge 
was  too  high  for  me,  and  that  if  God  had 
said  it,  it  was  not  my  place  to  cavil  against 
it.  I  acknowledge  this  way  of  answering  ob- 
jections is  not  very  satisfactory  to  man's 
proud  curiosity,  who  would  be  as  God,  and 
know  all  that  God  knows,  and  even  dares  to 
dispute  with  him;  and  there  are  sometimes 
when  I  can  hardly  acquiesce  in  such  a  solu- 
tion: but  surely  it  is  highly  becoming  the 
dependent  stale,  and  limited  understand''^  ' 
9 

\ 


98  THE   FORCE    OF  TRUTH  : 

of  the  creature,  to  submit  the  decision  of  all 
such  high  points  imphcitly  to  the  award  of 
the  infinitely  wise  Creator.  And  the  Christian 
religion  expressly  requires  it  of  us,  for  our 
Lord  declares,  that  "  Except  we  receive  the 
kingdom  of  God,"  (not  as  a  disputing  philo- 
sopher, but)  "as  a  little  child,  we  shall  in  no- 
wise enter  therein."  The  day  is  coming, 
when  we  shall  be  able  to  answer  all  objec- 
tions. Here  we  are  to  walk  by  faith,  and  see 
in  part,  and  as  through  a  glass  darkly;  here- 
after we  shall  see  face  to  face,  and  know 
even  as  we  are  known. 

Leaving,  therefore,  all  difficulties  of  a  met- 
aphysical nature  to  be  cleared  up  in  that 
world  of  light  and  knowledge,  I  began  to 
consider  the  abuses  of  this  doctrine,  which  I 
had  always  looked  upon  as  being  a  very  for- 
midable objection  against  it.  But  I  soon  dis- 
covered, that  though  ungodly  men,  who 
make  profession  of  religion,  will  turn  the 
grace  of  God  into  licentiousness;  yet  that  we 
might  so  explain  and  guard  these  doctrines, 
that  none  could  thus  abuse  them,  without  be- 
ing conscious  that  they  did  so,  and  detecting 
their  own  hypocrisy.  It  still,  indeed,  appear- 
ed probable  to  me,  that  the  preaching  of  them 
might  occasion  some  trouble  of  mind  at  first 
to  a  few  well  disposed  persons;  but  I  consid- 
ered that  by  a  cautious  declaration  of  them, 
and  contrasting  them  with  the  general  pro- 
mises of  the  Gospel  to  all  who  believe,  this 
might  in  a  great  measure  be  prevented;  and 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        99 

at  the  worst,  a  little  personal  conversation 
with  such  persons,  would  seldom,  if  ever, 
fail  to  satisfy  their  minds,  and  even  enable 
them  in  general  to  derive  encouragement 
from  them;  while  the  unsettling  of  the  minds 
of  such  persons,  as  are  carelessly  living  in  an 
unconverted  state,  is  the  great  end  of  all  our 
preaching  to  them;  and  therefore  we  need 
not  fear  any  bad  effect  of  this  doctrine  in 
that  respect.  The  great  question  therefore 
was,  "are  these  doctrines  in  the  Bible,  or 
no?"  Hitherto  I  had  wilfully  passed  over, 
and  neglected,  or  endeavoured  to  put  some 
other  construction  upon  all  those  Scriptures 
which  directly  speak  of  them:  but  now  I 
began  to  consider,  meditate,  and  pray  over 
them ;  and  I  soon  found  that  I  could  not 
support  my  former  interpretation  of  them. 
They  would  teach  predestination,  election, 
final  perseverance  and  assurance,  in  spite  of 
all  my  twisting  and  expounding.  It  also 
occurred  to  me  that  though  now  in  disgrace, 
they  were  universally  believed  and  main- 
tained by  our  venerable  reformers;  that  they 
were  admitted,  at  the  beginning  of  the  Refor- 
mation, into  the  creeds,  catechisms,  or  arti- 
cles of  every  one  of  the  Protestant  churclies; 
that  our  articles  and  homilies  expressly  main- 
tained them :  and  consequently,  that  a  vast 
number  of  wise  and  sober-minded  men,  who, 
in  their  days,  were  burning  and  shining 
lights,  upon  mature  deliberation,  had  agreed, 
not  only  that  they  were  true,  but  that  they 


100  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

ought  to  be  admitted  as  useful,  or  even  as 
necessary  articles  of  faith  by  every  one,  who 
deemed  himself  called  to  take  upon  him  the 
office  of  a  Christian  minister. 

In  the  course  of  this  inquiry,  I  perceived 
that  my  system  of  doctrine  was  incomplete 
without  them.  I  believed  that  men,  by  na- 
ture born  in  sin,  and  the  children  of  wrath, 
by  wicked  works  the  enemies  of  God,  being 
in  themselves  ungodly,  and  without  strength, 
were  saved  of  free  mercy  and  grace,  without 
having  done  any  thing,  more  or  less,  to  de- 
serve it,  through  the  Redeemer's  righteous- 
ness and  atonement,  received  by  faith,  the 
gift, and  operation  of  God;  and  accompanied 
with  a  new  birth  of  the  Spirit,  a  new  creation 
unto  good  works,  and  to  the  divine  image, 
by  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost:  and  now, 
therefore,  it  occurred  to  me,  to  inquire  from 
what  source  these  precious  blessings,  thus 
freely  flowing  through  the  channel  of  re- 
demption to  poor  worthless  sinners,  could 
originally  spring?  In  this  inquiry,  my  mind 
being  carried  back  from  the  consideration  of 
the  effectSjto  theconsiderationof  their  causes; 
and  from  the  promises  made  to  fallen  man, 
to  the  counsels  and  purposes  of  God,  which 
induced  him  to  give  those  promises;  and  me- 
ditating on  the  divine  perfections,  his  omnis- 
cience, unchangeableness,  and  eternity,  and 
the  end  which  the  all-sufficient  God  had  in 
view,  in  all  his  works,  even  the  manifestation 
of  the   glory  of  his  own  perfections;  I  at 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        101 

length  perceived,  that  this  great  work  of  re- 
demption, as  planned  by  God,  to  whom  were 
known  all  his  works  from  before  the  foun- 
dation of  the  world,  must  be  the  result  of  his 
eternal  purpose,  of  displaying  the  glory  of 
his  mercy  and  grace  in  harmonious  consist- 
ency with  his  most  awful  justice,  and  glo- 
rious holiness;  and  thereby  manifesting  the 
inexhaustible  resources  of  his  manifold  wis- 
dom, in  thus  reconciling,  and  at  one  time, 
and  in  one  work,  unitedly  glorifying  these 
his  attributes,  which,  considered  as  perfect, 
seem,  to  created  understanding  irreconcila- 
ble to  each  other.  Especially,  I  was  con- 
vinced of  this,  when  I  discovered,  that  until 
the  fall  of  man  made  way  for,  and  the  re- 
demption had  manifested  the  attribute  of 
mercy  to  sinners,  it  had,  as  far  as  we  can 
learn,  been  unexercised,  and  undisplayed, 
and  consequently  unknown  to  any  but  God 
himself  from  all  eternity;  nor  could  he  have 
the  glory  of  it,  but  must  have  been  considered 
as  so  perfect  in  justice  and  holiness,  as  to  be 
incapable  of  exercising  mercy,  had  he  not 
chosen  some  objects  on  whom  to  exercise  it, 
and  devised  some  way  wherein  to  exercise 
it,  in  consistency  with  his  other  perfections. 
Thus  I  perceived  redemption  to  be  the  effect 
of  a  settled  design  formed  in  God's  eternal 
councils,  of  manifesting  himself  to  his  rea- 
sonable creatures  to  be  complete,  and  full 
orbed  in  all  conceivable  perfections;  that  the 
merciful  and  gracious  nature  of  God,  the 


102  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

fountain  of  goodness,  alone  moved  him  to 
choose  any  transgressors  of  his  law,  as  ob- 
jects of  his  favourable  regard;  that  his  un- 
constrained will  and  pleasure  are  the  only- 
assignable  causes  of  his  choosing  one,  rather 
than  another;  that  the  objections  are  as 
strong  against  this  being  understood  of  na- 
tions, or  collective  bodies,  as  of  individuals: 
that  the  whole  work  being  his  own;  his  wis- 
dom having  devised  the  means,  his  love  and 
all-sufRciency  having,  in  the  person,  offices, 
and  work  of  Christ,  made  all  things  ready; 
his  providence  directing  absolutely  to  whom 
the  word  of  invitation  should  be  sent;  and 
his  holy  Spirit  alone  inclining,  and  enabling 
the  soul  to  embrace  it  by  faith:  therefore, 
that  God,  who  knoweth  the  end  from  the 
beginning,  and  is  a  sovereign,  and  when  none 
have  deserved  any  thing,  may  do  as  he  will 
with  his  own,  did  actually  "choose  every 
individual  believer  in  Christ,  before  the  foun- 
dation of  the  world,  that  we  should  be  holy 
and  without  blame  before  him  in  love ;  hav- 
ing predestinated  us  unto  the  adoption  of 
children  by  Jesus  Christ  to  himself,  according 
to  the  good  pleasure  of  his  will;  to  the  praise 
of  the  glory  of  his  grace,  wherein  he  hath  made 
us  accepted  in  the  beloved."  (Eph.  i.  4 — 6.) 
In  short,  though  my  objections  were  many, 
my  anxiety  great,  and  my  resistance  long, 
yet  by  the  evidence  which,  both  from  the 
word  of  God,  and  from  my  own  meditation, 
crowded  upon  my  mind,  I  was  at  length  con- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       103 

Strained  to  submit,  and  God  knoweth,  with 
fear  and  trembling,  to  allow  these  formerly- 
despised  doctrines  a  place  in  my  creed :  and 
accordingly,  about  Christmas,  1777,  I  began 
cautiously  to  establish  the  truth  of  them,  and 
to  make  use  of  them  for  the  consolation  of 
poor,  distressed,  and  fearful  believers.  This 
was  the  only  use  I  then  knew  of  them,  though 
I  now  see  their  influence  in  every  part  of 
Gospel  truth. 

However,  I  would  observe,  that  though  I 
assuredly  believe  these  doctrines,  as  far  as 
here  expressed;  (for  I  am  not  willing  to  trace 
them  any  higher  by  reasonings  or  conse- 
quences into  the  unrevealed  things  of  God,) 
and  though  I  exceedingly  need  them  in  my 
view  of  religion,  both  for  my  own  consola- 
tion and  security  against  the  consequences  of 
my  own  deceitful  heart,  an  ensnaring  world, 
and  a  subtle  tempter ;  as  also  for  the  due  ex- 
ercise of  my  pastoral  office;  yet  I  would  not 
be  understood  to  place  the  acknowledgment 
of  them  upon  a  level  with  a  belief  of  the  doc- 
trines, that  have  before  been  spoken  of.  I 
can  readily  conceive  the  character  of  an  hum- 
ble, pious,  spiritual  Christian,  who  either  is 
an  utter  stranger  to  these  Calvinistical  doc- 
trines, or  through  misapprehension,  or  fear 
of  abuse,  cannot  receive  them.  But  I  own 
that  I  find  a  difficulty  in  conceiving  an  hum- 
ble, pious,  spiritual  Christian,  who  is  a  stran- 
ger to  his  own  utterly  lost  condition,  to  the 
deceitfulness  and  depravity  of  his  heart,  to 


»jf„„i 


104  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

the  natural  alienation  of  his  affections  from 
God,  and  to  the  defilements  of  his  best  duties; 
who  trusts  either  in  whole  or  in  part,  allow- 
edly, to  any  thing  for  pardon  and  justifica- 
tion, but  the  blood  and  righteousness  of  a 
crucified  Saviour,  who  is  God  manifested  in 
the  flesh;  or  who  expects  to  be  made  meet 
for  the  inheritance  of  the  saints  in  light,  in 
any  other  way,  than  by  being  born  again, 
new  created,  converted,  and  sanctified  by  the 
divine  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 

Sometime  in  November,  1777,  I  was  by  a 
then  unknown  friend,  furnished  with  a  con- 
siderable number  of  books,  written  in  general 
by  the  old  divines  both  of  the  church  of  Eng- 
land, and  of  the  Dissenters.  And  to  my  no 
small  surprise,  I  found,  that  those  doctrines, 
which  are  now  deemed  novel  inventions,  and 
are  called  Methodistical,  are  in  these  books 
every  where  discoursed  of  as  known  and  al- 
lowed truths;  and  that  that  system,  which, 
despising  to  be  taught  by  men,  and  unac- 
quainted with  such  authors,  I  had  for  near 
three  years  together  been  hammering  out  of 
myself  with  no  small  labour  and  anxiety,  was 
to  be  found  ready  made  to  my  hands,  in  every 
book  I  opened. 

I  make  no  wonder,  that  the  members  of 
the  church  of  England  are  generally  preju- 
diced against  the  writing  of  Dissenters;  for  I 
have  been  so  myself  to  an  excess;  we  imbibe 
this  prejudice  with  the  first  rudiments  of  in- 
struction, and  are  taught  by  our  whole  edu- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        105 

cation  to  consider  it  as  meritorious; — though 
no  doubt  it  is  a  prejudice,  of  which  every  sin- 
cere inquirer  after  truth  ought  to  be  afraid, 
and  every  pretended  inquirer  ashamed;  for 
how  can  we  determine  on  which  side  truth 
lies,  if  we  will  not  examine  both  sides  ?  And 
indeed  it  is  well  known  to  all  those,  who  are 
acquainted  with  the  church  histories  of  those 
times,  that  until  the  reign  of  James  the  First 
there  were  no  controversies  between  the 
church  established,  and  the  Puritans,  con- 
cerning doctrine;  both  parties  being  in  all 
matters  of  importance  of  the  same  senti- 
ments; they  only  contended  about  discipline 
and  ceremonies,  until  the  introduction  of  Ar- 
minianism  gave  occasion  to  the  Calvinists 
being  denominated  Doctrinal  Puritans.  Unto 
this  period  all  our  church  writers  were  Cal- 
vinistical  in  doctrine,  and  even  after  that 
time,  many  might  be  mentioned  who  were 
allowed  friends  of  the  church  of  England, 
who  opposed  these  innovations,  and  agreed 
in  doctrine  with  every  thing  that  hath  been 
mentioned.  Let  it  suffice,  out  of  many,  to 
recommend  Bishop  Hall's  works,  especially 
his  "  Contemplations  on  the  Life  of  Jesus,"  a 
book  not  easily  too  highly  prized:  and  Dr. 
Reynolds'  works.  To  these,  no  true  friend 
to  the  church  of  England  can  reasonably  ob- 
ject. And  in  general  I  believe,  and  teach 
nothing,  but  what  they  plainly  taught  before 
me,  as  I  could  easily  prove,  but  that  I  have 
been  too  tedious  already. 


106  THE    FORCE    OF   TEUTH : 

I  had  now  got  the  outUnes  of  my  scheme 
of  doctrine  marked  out;  but  I  had  been  so 
taken  up  with  these  doctrinal  inquiries,  that 
hitherto  I  was  very  much  a  stranger  to  the 
workings  of  my  own  heart,  and  had  Httle  ex- 
perience in  my  own  soul,  of  the  power  of 
these  truths.  The  pride  of  reasoning,  and 
the  conceit  of  my  superior  discernment,  had 
all  along  accompanied  me;  and  though  some- 
what broken,  had  yet  considerable  influence. 
Hitherto,  therefore,  I  had  not  thought  of 
hearing  any  person  preach,  because  I  did  not 
know  that  any  person  in  the  circle  of  my  ac- 
quaintance, was  capable  of  informing  me  in 
any  thing  deserving  attention,  of  which  I  was 
ignorant.     But  at  length  perceiving,  that  in 

the  whole  matter  Mr. had  been  right 

and  that  I  had  been  mistaken,  it  occurred  to 
me,  that  having  preached  these  doctrines  so 
long,  he  must  understand  many  things  con- 
cerning them,  to  which  I  was  a  stranger, — 
now,  therefore,  though  not  without  much 
remaining  prejudice,  and  not  less  in  the  cha- 
racter of  a  judge  than  of  a  scholar,  I  conde- 
scended to  be  his  hearer,  and  occasionally  to 
attend  his  preaching,  and  that  of  some  other 
ministers.  I  soon  perceived  the  benefit  of 
this;  for,  from  time  to  time,  I  found  the  secrets 
of  my  heart  discovered  to  me,  far  beyond 
what  I  had  hitherto  noticed  myself;  and  sel- 
dom returned  from  hearing  a  sermon,  with- 
out having  conceived  a  meaner  opinion  of  my- 
self;  without  having  attained  to   a  further 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       107 

acquaintance  with  my  deficiencies,  my  weak- 
ness, my  corruptions,  and  wants;  and  with- 
out being  suppHed  with  fresh  matter  for 
prayer,  and  directed  to  greater  watchfulness. 
Moreover  I  learned  the  use  of  experience  in 
preaching,  and  was  convinced  that  the  ready 
way  to  come  at  other  people's  hearts  and 
consciences,  was  to  speak  from  my  own. — 
In  short,  I  gradually  saw  more  and  more  of 
my  need  of  instruction,  and  was  brought  to 
consider  myself  as  a  very  novice  in  religious 
matters.  I  began  experimentally  to  perceive 
our  Lord's  meaning,  when  he  says,  "Except 
ye  receive  the  kingdom  of  heaven  as  a  little 
child,  ye  shall  in  no  wise  enter  therein." — 
For  though  my  proud  heart  is  continually 
rebelling,  and  would  fain  build  up  again  the 
former  Babel  of  self-conceit:  yet  I  trust  from 
this  time,  in  my  settled  judgment,  I  have  de- 
sired, and  prayed  to  be  enabled,  to  consider 
myself  as  a  little  child,  who  ought  simply  to 
sit  at  the  master's  feet,  to  hear  his  words 
with  profound  submission,  and  wait  his 
teaching  with  earnest  desire  and  patient  at- 
tention. And  from  this  time  I  have  been  en- 
abled to  consider  those  persons,  whose  know- 
ledge has  been  ripened  by  years,  experience, 
and  observation,  as  fathers  and  instructers, 
to  take  pleasure  in  their  company,  value 
their  counsels,  and  love  to  attend  their 
preaching. 

Thus  I  trust  the  old  building,  that  I  had 


108  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

purposed  to  repair,  was  pulled  down  to  the 
ground,  and  the  foundation  of  the  new  build- 
ing of  God  laid  aright ;  old  things  were  passed 
away,  behold  all  things  were  become  new. 
What  things  were  gain  to  me,  those  I  have 
counted  loss  for  Christ;  my  boasted  reason  I 
discover  to  be  a  blind  guide,  until  humbled, 
enhghtened,  and  sanctified  by  the  Spirit  of 
God;  my  former  wisdom  I  now  know  to 
have  been  foolishness,  and  that  when  I 
thought  I  knew  much,  I  knew  nothing  as  I 
ought  to  know.  Since  this  period,  every 
thing  I  have  experienced  in  my  own  heart, 
every  thing  I  have  heard  and  read,  every 
thing  1  observe  around  me,  confirms  and  es- 
tablishes me  in  the  assured  belief  of  those 
truths,  which  I  have  received;  nor  do  I  in 
general  any  more  doubt  their  being  from  God, 
than  I  doubt  whether  the  sun  shines  when  I 
see  its  light,  and  am  warmed  whh  its  refresh- 
ing beams.  I  see  the  powerful  effects  of 
them  continually  among  those  to  whom  I 
preach:  experience  the  power  of  them  daily 
in  my  own  soul;  and  while  by  meditating 
on,  and  rejoicing  in  the  cross  of  Christ,  I  find 
the  world  crucified  unto  me,  and  I  unto  the 
world;  by  preaching  Jesus  Christ,  and  him 
crucified,  I  see  notoriously  immoral  persons 
influenced  to  deny  ungodliness  and  worldly 
lusts,  and  to  live  soberly,  righteously,  and 
godly  in  this  present  world,  being  an  exam- 
ple to  such  as  before  they  were  a  scandal  to. 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       109 

And  now  by  this  change,  the  consequences 
of  which  I  so  much  dreaded,  what  have  I 
lost  even  in  respect  of  this  present  world? 
Indeed,  I  have  lost  some  degree  of  favour, 
and  escape  not  pity,  censure,  scorn,  and  op- 
position; but  the  Lord  is  introducing  me  to  a 
new,  and  far  more  desirable  acquaintance; 
even  to  that  of  those,  whom  the  Holy  Ghost 
hath  denominated  the  excellent  of  the  earth; 
nay,  the  Lord  the  Spirit  condescends  to  be 
my  comforter.  In  general  I  enjoy  an  esta- 
blished peace  of  conscience  through  the  blood 
of  sprinkling,  and  continual  application  to  the 
heavenly  Advocate,  with  a  sweet  content, 
and  that  peace  of  God  which  passeth  all  un- 
derstanding, in  casting  all  my  cares  upon  him, 
who  careth  for  me.  And  I  am  not  utterly 
left  without  experience  of  that  joy,  which  is 
unspeakable  and  full  of  glory.  These  the 
world  could  not  give  me,  were  I  in  favour 
with  it;  of  these  it  cannot  deprive  me  by  its 
frowns.  My  desire  henceforth,  God  knoweth, 
is  to  live  to  his  glory,  and  by  my  whole  con- 
duct and  conversation  to  adorn  the  doctrine 
of  God  my  Saviour,  and  to  show  forth  his 
praise,  who  hath  called  me  out  of  darkness 
into  his  marvellous  light;  to  be  in  some  way 
or  other  useful  to  his  believing  people;  and 
to  invite  poor  sinners,  who  are  walking  in  a 
vain  shadow,  and  disquieting  themselves  in 
vain,  to  taste  and  see  how  gracious  the  Lord 
is,  and  how  blessed  they  are  who  put  their 
trust  in  him. 


110  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

Now  would  I  tell  to  sinners  round, 
What  a  dear  Saviour  I  have  found ; 
Would  point  to  his  redeeming  blood, 
And  cry,  behold  the  way  to  God! 

Thus  hath  the  Lord  led  me,  a  poor,  bUnd 
sinner,  in  a  way  that  I  knew  not;  he  hath 
made  darkness  hght  before  me,  crooked 
things  straight,  and  hard  things  easy,  and 
hath  brought  me  to  a  place,  of  which  I  little 
thought  when  I  set  out;  and  having  done 
these  things  for  me,  I  believe,  yea,  I  am  un- 
doubtedly sure,  he  will  never  leave  me  nor 
forsake  me.  To  him  be  the  glory  of  his  un- 
deserved, long  resisted  grace;  to  me  be  the 
shame,  not  only  of  all  my  other  sins,  but  also 
of  my  proud  and  perverse  opposition  to  his 
purposes  of  love  toward  me.  But  all  this 
was  permitted,  that  my  high  spirit  and  stout 
heart  being  at  length  humbled  and  subdued, 
I  might  remember,  and  be  confounded,  and 
never  open  my  mouth  more,  because  of  my 
shame,  now  that  the  Lord  is  pacified  to  me 
for  all  that  I  have  done. 

And  now,  as  in  the  presence  of  the  heart- 
searching  God,  1  have  given  without  one 
wilful  misrepresentation,  addition,  or  mate- 
rial omission,  a  history  of  the  great  things 
God  hath  done  for  my  soul ;  or  if  that  suit  not 
your  view  of  it,  a  history  of  that  change 
which  hath  recently  taken  place  in  my  reli- 
gious sentiments  and  conduct,  to  the  surprise 
of  some,  and  perhaps  displeasure  of  others  of 
my  former  friends.     The  doctrines  which  I 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        Ill 

have  now  received,  are  indeed  charged  with 
being  destructive  of  moral  practice,  and  tend- 
ing to  licentiousness;  but  though  I  know  that 
my  best  righteousnesses  are  as  filthy  rags,  yet 
I  trust  I  may  return  thanks  to  God,  that  by 
his  grace  he  hath  so  upheld  me,  since  this 
change  took  place,  that  I  have  not  been  per- 
mitted to  disgrace  the  cause  in  which  I  have 
embarked,  by  any  immoral  conduct ;  my  re- 
joicing, in  this  respect,  is  this,  that  in  simpli- 
city and  godly  sincerity,  not  with  fleshly 
wisdom,  but  by  the  grace  of  God,  I  have  my 
conversation  in  the  world.  And  sincerely  I 
may  avow,  that  the  belief  of  these  doctrines, 
hath  a  quite  contrary  effect  upon  me.  I  most 
heartily  desire,  aim,  endeavour,  and  pray  to 
be  enabled  to  love  God  and  keep  his  com- 
mandments, without  partiality  and  without 
hypocrisy,  and  so  to  demean  myself,  as  by- 
well  doing  to  put  to  silence  the  ignorance  of 
foolish  men.  That  I  fall  so  very  far  short  in 
every  thing  is  not  the  effect  of  my  new  doc- 
trines, but  of  my  old  depraved  nature,  and 
deceitful  heart.  Create  in  m.e  a  clean  heart, 
0  God,  and  renew  a  right  spirit  within  me! 


112  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH; 


PART  III. 


Containing  observations  on  the  foregoing  narrative. 

My  design  in  writing  this  account  of  my- 
self, and  my  religious  inquiries,  and  change 
of  sentiments,  was  as  follows:  I  considered 
myself  a  singular  instance  of  a  very  unlikely 
person,  in  an  uncommon  manner,  being  led 
on  from  one  thing  to  another  to  embrace  a 
system  of  doctrine  which  he  once  heartily 
despised.  And  as  I  do  assuredly  believe  that 
this  change  hath  been  effected  under  the 
guidance  and  teaching  of  the  Holy  Ghost;  so 
I  verily  hoped  that  a  circumstantial  relation 
of  it  might  be  an  encouragement  and  com- 
fort to  those  who  know  and  love  the  Lord, 
and  from  them  levy  a  tribute  of  gratitude  and 
praise,  to  our  gracious,  wonder-working  God : 
and  that  it  also  might  be  instrumental,  by  the 
convincing  Spirit,  to  awaken  others  to  a  se- 
rious review  of  their  religious  sentiments;  to 
put  them  upon  the  same  earnest  inquiry  after 
the  truth,  as  it  is  in  Jesus;  and  to  influence 
them  to  the  diligent  use  of  the  same  blessed 
means,  in  which  the  Lord  directed  me  to  be 
found.  In  order  to  forward  this  effect,  I 
would  offer  a  few  observations  upon  what 
has  been  related,  to  the  attentive  and  impar- 
tial consideration  of  the  reader;  and  may  the 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       113 

Lord  guide  both  the  writer  and  reader  of 
these  sheets  to  the  saving  knowledge  of  him- 
self, and  of  the  ways  of  truth  and  peace! 

INow,  I.  I  think  it  nrjust  be  evident  to 
every  unprejudiced  reader  of  this  narrative, 
that  at  the  time  this  change  commenced,  I 
was,  humanly  speaking,  a  most  unlikely  per- 
son to  embrace  this  system  of  doctrine. — 
This  will  appear  from  the  following  con- 
siderations: 

1.  By  reason  of  my  religious  opinions  at 
that  time,  which  had  been  for  many  years 
directly  contrary  thereto.  Being  always  of 
a  reflecting  turn,  I  had  exceeding  high  no- 
tions of  the  powers  of  human  reason,  and  a 
very  favourable  opinion  of  my  own  under- 
standing: and  I  had,  upon  reasoning  princi- 
ples, embraced  a  system  of  religion,  which, 
while  it  soothed  my  conscience,  flattered  this 
self-conceit.  After  some  trivial  alterations, 
I  seemed  to  myself,  upon  mature  delibera- 
tion, to  have  come  to  a  settled  determination, 
and  had  bestowed  considerable  pains  in  mak- 
ing myself  acquainted  with  those  arguments 
and  interpretations  of  Scripture  wherewith 
that  system  is  usually  defended;  and  I  had 
raked  together  many  of  those  plausible  ob- 
jections, and  high  charges,  which  are,  by 
reasoning  men,  brought  against  the  doctrines, 
and  persons  of  the  Calvinists.  But  on  the 
other  hand,  I  was,  in  a  great  measure,  a 
stranger  to  what  the  Calvinists  could  say  for 
themselves,  because  I  thought  the  matter  too 
10 


114  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

plain  to  bear  an  argument,  and  therefore  did 
not  think  their  answers  worth  reading.  In 
short,  I  was  fallen  so  very  low,  that  very- 
few  have  ever  been  recovered  from  that 
abyss  of  error,  into  which  I  had  been  per- 
mitted to  sink.  Full  of  confidence  in  my 
cause,  and  in  the  arguments  with  which  I 
was  preparing  myself,  and  with  the  most 
sanguine  expectation  of  success,  I  was  eager 
to  engage  in  controversy  with  the  Calvinists. 
In  this  confidence  I  frequently  harangued 
against  them  from  the  pulpit,  and  spared  not 
to  charge  upon  them  consequences  both  ab- 
surd and  shocking.  And  yet,  at  length,  after 
much,  very  much,  anxious,  diligent  inquiry, 
I  have  embraced,  as  the  sacred  truths  of 
God's  unerring  word,  every  doctrine  of  this 
despised  system. 

2.  From  my  natural  spirit  and  temper,  I 
was  a  most  unlikely  person  thus  to  change. 
Few  persons  were  ever  more  self-sufficient 
and  positive  in  their  opinions,  than  I  was. — 
Fond  to  excess  of  entering  into  argument,  I 
never  failed  on  these  occasions  to  betray  this 
peculiarity  of  my  character.  I  seldom  ac- 
knowledged or  suspected  myself  mistaken; 
and  scarce  ever  dropped  any  argument,  until 
either  my  reasonings,  or  obstinacy,  had  si- 
lenced my  opponent.  A  certain  person  once 
said  of  me,  that  I  was  like  a  stone  rolling 
down  the  hill,  which  could  neither  be  stopped 
nor  turned;  this  witness  was  true;  but  those 
things  which  are  impossible  with  man,  are 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       115 

easy  with  God:  I  am  evidently  both  stopped, 
and  turned;  man,  I  am  persuaded,  could  not 
have  done  it;  but  this  hath  God  wrought — 
and  I  am  not  more  a  wonder  to  others  than 
to  myself.  Indeed,  I  carried  the  same  obsti- 
nate, positive  temper  into  my  religious  inqui- 
ries: for  I  never  gave  up  one  tittle  of  my 
sentiments,  till  I  could  defend  them  no  longer, 
nor  even  submitted  to  conviction,  till  I  could 
make  no  longer  resistance.  The  strong  man 
armed  with  my  natural  pride,  and  obstinacy; 
and  having  with  my  vain  imaginations,  and 
reasonings,  and  high  thoughts,  built  himself 
many  strong  holds,  kept  his  castle  in  my 
heart:  and  thus  garrisoned,  when  the  stronger 
than  he  came  against  him,  he  stood  a  long 
siege;  till,  being  by  superior  force  driven 
from  one  to  another,  and  all  his  armour 
wherein  he  trusted  being  at  length  taken 
from  him,  he  was  constrained  to  recede. — 
And  the  Lord  having  made  me  wiUing  in  the 
day  of  his  power,  I  was  forced  to  confess; 
"  0  Lord,  thou  art  stronger  than  I,  and  hast 
prevailed." 

3.  My  situation  in  life  rendered  such  a 
change  improbable.  I  had  an  increasing 
family,  no  private  fortune,  a  narrow,  preca- 
rious income,  and  no  expectations,  except 
from  such  friends  as  my  conduct  might  pro- 
cure, or  continue  to  me.  I  had  unexpectedly 
contracted  an  acquaintance  with  some  of 
those  whose  favour  goes  a  great  way  toward 
a  man's  advancement  in  life;  nor  was  I  in- 


116  THE    FORCE    OP   TRUTH: 

sensible  to  the  advantages  to  be  hoped  for, 
from  cultivating,  by  a  compliant  behaviour, 
their  kind  and  friendly  regard  to  me;  at  the 
same  time  I  was  no  stranger  to  the  opinion, 
which  the  world  entertains  of  those  who 
preach  these  disreputable  doctrines;  and 
could  not  but  conclude,  that  embracing  this 
system  of  religion  was  a  probable  way  of 
depriving  myself  of  this  prospect  of  prefer- 
ment. Had  I  not,  therefore,  as  the  result  of 
my  diligent  inquiries,  been  assuredly  con- 
vinced that  it  was  my  indispensable  duty  to 
embrace,  and  preach  them,  and  that  by  so 
doing  alone,  I  could  ensure  to  myself  the  fa- 
vour of  a  better  friend  than  any  here  below; 
I  should  have  been  destitute  even  of  common 
sense,  to  have  had  any  thing  to  do  with  them. 
And  yet  being  aware  all  along,  how  unfa- 
vourable, according  to  human  probability^ 
it  will  prove,  to  my  worldly  interests,  at 
length  I  have  deliberately  embraced  them. 

4.  Nor  was  my  regard  to  my  character  a 
trifling  security  against  such  a  change  of  sen- 
timent. I  was  ambitiously  and  excessively 
fond  of  that  honour  which  cometh  from  man  ; 
and  considered  the  desire  of  praise  as  allow- 
able, nay  laudable.  By  this  motive  was  I 
urged  on  to  a  very  diligent  prosecution  of 
my  studies,  even  beyond  what  my  natural 
inclination  led  me  to  ;  and  my  whole  conduct 
was  influenced  by,  my  whole  conversation 
tinctured  with,  this  vainglorious  aim.  On  the 
other  hand,  with  approbation  and  self-corn- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       117 

placency,  I  had  been  accustomed  to  hear  the 
most  contemptuous  and  opprobrious  epithets 
liberally  added  to  the  names  of  those  persons 
to  whom  I  have  now  joined  myself;  and  all 
along,  as  I  verged  nearer  and  nearer  to  Me- 
thodism, I  was  painfully  sensible,  that  I  was 
drawing  upon  myself  the  same  mortifying 
distinctions.  I  have  been  a  vainglorious  can- 
didate for  human  applause;  but  I  renounce 
such  pretensions,  and  willingly  submit  to  be 
considered  by  the  world,  under  the  mortify- 
ing character  of  a  silly,  half-witted,  crack- 
brained  enthusiast.  These  epithets,  I  am 
sensible,  are  now  bestowed  upon  me,  behind 
my  back,  and  very  often  to  my  face;  I  bless 
God  this  doth  not  move  me,  but  I  can  hearti- 
ly thank  him  that  I  am  counted  worthy  to 
suffer  shame  for  his  sake.  But  when  I  saw 
this  trial  approaching,  it  appeared  very  for- 
midable; and  I  can  truly  affirm,  that  nothing 
but  the  fullest  conviction,  that  the  cause  in 
which  I  was  embarking  was  the  cause  of 
God;  nothing,  but  not  daring  to  act  contrary 
to  the  plain  dictates  of  my  conscience,  could 
have  influenced  me  to  make  this  sacrifice  of 
my  character,  and  bring  myself  under  so 
much  contempt  and  scorn. 

But,  5.  To  reason  with  our  despisers,  upon 
their  own  principles;  upon  supposition  that  I 
am  now  fallen  into  enthusiasm,  mistake,  and 
strong  delusion,  I  certainly  was,  when  I  first 
set  out  in  this  inquiry,  a  very  unlikely  person 
so  to  do.     My  leading  resolve  was  to  search 


118  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

for  the  truth  dihgently,  and  to  embrace  it 
wherever  I  found  it,  whatever  it  might  cost; 
no  sooner  had  I  begun  this  inquiry,  than  I 
was  called  upon  to  give  proof  of  the  sincerity 
of  this  resolution;  and,  from  a  principle  of 
conscience,  though  a  mistaken  one,  I  re- 
nounced my  only  prospect  of  preferment;  and 
it  would  be  unreasonable  to  question  my 
sincerity,  after  it  had  been  thus  evidenced. 
Since  that  time  I  have  also  deliberately  sacri- 
ficed my  character,  and  hazarded  the  loss  of 
all  my  former  friends.  Giving  these  proofs 
of  my  integrity,  I  set  off  in  dependence  on 
those  plain  promises,  which  I  have  mention- 
ed; I  have  sought  for  this  desired  knowledge 
of  the  truth  mainly  in  reading  the  Holy  Scrip- 
tures, and  by  prayer  for  the  promised  teach- 
ing of  the  Holy  Ghost,  after  that  manner 
which  had  been  related;  and  am  now  led  to 
conclusions  diametrically  opposite  to  what 
I  expected.  Now,  lay  all  these  things 
together,  attentively  consider  them,  and  then 
let  your  own  conscience  determine  how  far 
it  is  probable,  that  a  person,  in  this  manner 
seeking  for  the  truth,  should  be  given  over  to 
a  strong  delusion  to  believe  a  pernicious  lie. 
"Would  any  of  you  that  is  a  father,  if  his 
son  asked  bread,  give  him  a  stone;  or  if 
he  asked  a  fish,  give  him  a  serpent  ?  If  ye, 
then,  being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts 
unto  your  children,  how  much  more  shall 
our  Heavenly  Father  give  the  Holy  Spirit  to 
them  that  ask  him  ?"  Can  any  man  suppose, 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        119 

that  after  such  repeated  and  continued  plead- 
ings of  the  express  promises  of  the  Lord  to 
this  effect,  in  earnest  prayer,  according  to  his 
appointment,  I  should  be  likely  to  be  deliver- 
ed up  to  the  teaching  of  the  father  of  lies? 
Can  any  one  make  this  conclusion  without 
insinuating  that  God  hath  broken  his  pro- 
mises, which  is  shocking  to  think  of?  In 
short,  you  may  make  a  jest  of  these  things ; 
you  may  throw  by  the  book  without  giv- 
ing any  attention  to  an  argument  of  this 
kind;  or  you  may  say,  what  you  never 
can  prove,  that  it  is  all  a  contrived  story; 
or  you  may  argue,  that  these  promises, 
though  contained  in  the  Bible,  are  not  to  be 
depended  on  by  us:  which  is  to  give  up  the 
Scriptures  to  be  scoffed  at  by  infidels  and 
atheists,  and  to  render  them  useless  to  the 
humble,  anxious  inquirer  after  truth  and  sal- 
vation; but  by  no  other  means,  I  am  assured, 
can  you  account  for  this  single  circumstance, 
without  allowing,  that  the  substance  of  those 
doctrines  that  I  have  now  embraced,  is  in- 
deed contained  in  the  word  of  God;  that  they 
comprise  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,  and  are 
not  corrupted  with  any  such  delusion,  as  can 
hazard  the  salvation  of  my  soul,  or  the  souls 
of  those  who,  by  my  ministry,  receive  them. 
On  this  supposition  all  difficulties  vanish. 
The  Lord  had  given  me  a  sincere  desire,  to 
know  the  saving  doctrine  of  the  Gospel;  and 
though  I  was  exceedingly  ignorant,  obstinate, 
and  prejudiced;  yet  this  desire,  having  by  his 


120  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

providential  direction  led  me  to  the  word  of 
God,  and  influenced  me  to  seek  his  teaching 
by  prayer;  God  was  faithful  to  his  own  pro- 
mises, and  it  was  an  example  of  his  own 
words,  "  that  every  one  that  asketh  receiveth, 
and  he  that  seeketh  findeth."  My  sincerity 
in  seeking  the  truth,  evinced  by  the  sacrifice 
I  made  to  my  conscience,  was  sufficient  to 
convince  any  person,  who  is  conversant  and 
experienced  in  the  things  of  God,  that,  as 
my  friend  foretold,  thither  would  all  my  in- 
quiries lead  me,  in  that  would  they  all  finally 
centre.  And  could  I  bo  assured,  beloved 
reader,  whoever  thou  art,  that  thou  wast  as 
sincerely  desirous  to  know  the  truth,  as  I 
then  was,  and  as  heartily  resolved  to  embrace 
it  wherever  thou  didst  find  it,  and  whatever 
it  should  cost  thee;  had  I  also  assurance,  that 
in  a  believing  dependence  on  these  promises, 
thou  wast  diligently,  and  from  day  to  day, 
in  the  study  of  the  word  of  God,  and  by 
prayer,  seeking  the  accomplishment  thereof 
unto  thy  soul;  I  would  as  confidently  foretell, 
that,  as  to  those  things  which  I  now  regard 
as  essential  to  salvation,  and,  if  thou  hast  the 
souls  of  others  committed  to  thee,  as  to  what 
is  needful  for  thy  usefulness  in  the  ministry, 
thou  wouldst  be  brought  in  time  to  the  same 
conclusions,  whatever  thy  present  religious 
sentiments  may  be.  May  the  Lord  give  thee 
true  sincerity,  and  incline  thine  heart  to  try 
the  experiment! 

I  am  aware  that  many  will  object  to  what 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       121 

I  have  urged  under  this  head,  as  being  too 
confident,  and  as  urged  by  men  of  contr  ary 
religious  sentiments,  each  in  behalf  of  his 
own  system;  and  as  I  would  neither  wish 
by  vain  controversy  to  be  detained  from 
more  profitable  employments,  nor  yet  to 
have  any  material,  and  plausible  objection 
in  force  against  what  I  have  asserted,  I  hope 
the  reader  will  excuse  my  obviating  this  be- 
forehand. In  answer,  therefore,  to  those 
who  may  deem  me  too  confident  in  this 
argument,  I  would  only  entreat  them  im- 
partially and  carefully  to  consider  the  hmita- 
tions  with  which,  on  every  hand,  it  is  guard- 
ed ;  and  then  to  inquire,  whether  in  any  other 
way,  than  that  which  hath  been  mentioned, 
he  can  account  for  this  circumstance:  that  is, 
supposing  this  narrative  true,  for  which  the 
appeal  is  to  the  heart-searching  God;  and 
supposing  the  promises  mentioned,  to  be 
proposed  to  us,  that  we  might  embrace,  de- 
pend on,  and  plead  them  in  prayer;  con- 
sidering the  glory  of  the  divine  veracity  as 
concerned  in  their  accomplishment  to  every 
believer,  and  then  try,  whether  you  possibly 
can  evade  one  of  the  following  conclusions: 

1.  Either  God  hath  failed  of  his  promise;  or, 

2.  God  hath  in  the  main,  and  as  far  as  is  ex- 
pressed, led  the  author  by  his  Holy  Spirit  to 
the  knowledge  and  belief  of  the  truth.  To 
the  second  argument,  taken  from  experience, 
I  answer,  1.  That  it  is  not  fact;  many  pre 
tenders  to  sincerity  and  candour,  will,  without 

11 


122  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

hesitation,  condemn  as  enthusiastical,  such  a 
reliance  on,  and  confidence  in  these  promises, 
and  this  way  of  searching  for  truth ;  and  it  is 
plain  they  do  not  seek  truth  in  that  manner, 
which  they  condemn  in  others.  Many  others, 
perhaps,  slightly  mention  these  matters,  but 
they  will  not  endure  to  be  closely  question- 
ed; they  are  conscious  that  they  have  not 
sought  the  truth  in  this  manner,  and  there- 
fore they  evade  such  discourse  as  personal. 
2.  I  answer  that  the  writings  of  many  pre- 
tended inquirers  after  truth,  evidently  show, 
that  they  expect  to  find  it,  not  by  trusting 
the  Lord  with  all  their  heart,  asking  wisdom 
of  him,  or  seeking  in  the  word  of  God  and 
by  prayer,  to  be  taught  of  him:  but  by  lean- 
ing to  their  own  understanding,  by  resting 
the  argument  on  philosophical  reasonings, 
by  backing  it  with  the  authority  of  this,  or 
that  renowned  name,  and  supporting  their 
conclusions  by  bold,  and  perplexing  criti- 
cism, and  interpretations  of  Scripture.  Hence 
so  many  daring  appeals  from  revelation,  to 
reason  and  philosophy;  hence  such  and  so 
many  objections  brought  against  doctrines 
plainly  revealed  in  God's  word;  (if  language 
hath  any  determinate  meaning;)  and  so  many 
consequences  charged  upon  these  doctrines, 
with  a  design  to  invalidate  their  divine  au- 
thority; as  if  being  made  by  every  art  of  in- 
genuity, to  have  the  show  of  unreasonable- 
ness, was  sufficient  to  prove  the  plainest  re- 
velation of  God's  Holy  Spirit  a  falsehood: 
hence   such    liberty,  in  interpretation  and 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       123 

criticism,  taken  with  the  word  of  God,  as 
the  learned  would  never  endure  in  interpret- 
ing, or  criticising  upon  Horace  or  Virgil. 
These  things  prove,  that  such  persons  are 
strangers  to  that  earnest,  hearty,  sincere  de- 
sire to  know  the  truth,  which  brings  the  in- 
quirer to  an  humble  willingness  to  be  taught 
of  God,  and  in  submission  of  understanding 
to  seek  wisdom  from  his  word  and  Spirit. 
And  3.  It  is  evident,  that  many  pretenders  to 
this  sincere  desire  to  know  the  truth,  are  not 
troubled  with  suspicions  that  they  are,  or 
can  be  wrong.  They  have  made  up  their 
minds  before  they  began  their  inquiries; 
and  therefore  you  will  not  find  them  willing 
to  make  the  least  concession,  but,  in  the 
management  of  the  controversy,  resolved  to 
vindicate,  and  contend  for  every  tittle,  wa- 
ding through  thick  and  thin,  (as  it  is  said,)  to 
make  good  their  cause:  and  where  argu- 
ments fail,  to  make  use  of  the  other  arts  of 
controversy,  with  which  skill  in  the  man- 
agement of  their  weapons,  and  anger  against 
their  opponents,  can  supply  them.  Where 
a  cause  is  maintained  in  this  manner,  you 
may  easily  understand,  that  there  is  none  of 
that  earnest  desire  of  learning  the  truth,  and 
that  anxious  fear  of  mistaking  it,  or  of  that 
distrust  of  self,  and  those  doubts  concerning 
our  present  knowledge  and  belief,  which  con- 
stitute that  sincerity,  that  leads  the  inquirer 
to  the  word  and  Spirit  of  God  for  direction 
and  teaching.     Lay  these  things  together, 


124  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  .* 

and  they  will  on  scriptural  grounds,  cut  off 
many  confident  pretenders  to  sincerity  from 
their  claims  as  entirely  as  they  exclude  An- 
nas and  Caiaphas,  and  the  chief  Priests, 
Scribes,  and  Pharisees,  from  being  sincere 
inquirers  into  the  truth  of  the  Old  Testa- 
ment; when  in  support  of  their  own  autho- 
rity and  reputation,  and  influenced  by  pride 
and  anger,  they,  under  colour  of  their  law, 
put  to  death  him,  of  whom  Moses  and  the 
prophets  did  write,  even  Jesus  of  Nazareth, 
the  Son  of  God.  And  as  to  men  of  another 
spirit,  who  appear  sincere,  humble,  and  wil- 
ling to  be  taught  of  God,  in  their  inquiry 
after  truth;  but  do  not  entirely  agree  with 
what  has  been  laid  down  as  my  view  of  the 
truth,  I  would  only  wish  them  to  observe 
the  distinction  established  between  some  and 
others  of  these  doctrines.  Such  persons  do 
not,  I  dare  say,  materially  differ  from  that 
which  has  been  mentioned  as  necessary  to 
salvation;  and,  therefore,  as  I  allow  that 
they  may  have  been  in  the  main  taught  of 
God;  so  I  only  require  the  same  allowance; 
and  that  it  may  be  supposed  that  the  same 
God,  who  according  to  his  promise  hath  led 
both,  as  far  as  is  needful  to  salvation,  in  the 
same  way,  has  in  other  things  left  us  to  dif- 
fer, for  the  mutual  exercise  of  candour  and 
forbearance,  till  that  time  when  we  shall 
know  even  as  we  are  known. 

Lay  these  things  impartially  together;  con- 
sider my  former  sentiments  on  religious  sub- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        125 

jects;  my  self-sufficiency  and  positiveness  in 
my  opinions;  my  worldly  interest  and  cha- 
racter, both,  to  appearance,  at  stake  ;  my  sin- 
cerity in  my  religious  inquiries  thus  evi- 
denced ;  and  then  suppose  my  present  sen- 
timents to  be  enthusiasm,  and  pernicious  de- 
lusion, and  will  it  not  be  evident  to  your  own 
consciences,  that  I  was  a  most  unlikely  per- 
son to  fall  into  them  ? 

II.  In  the  second  place,  I  would  observe, 
that  this  change  in  m.y  sentiments,  was  very 
gradual. 

When  any  person  suddenly  changes  his 
religious  opinions,  for  others,  very  different 
from  them,  it  is  no  inconsiderable  evidence 
of  a  changeable  and  fickle  disposition:  it 
gives  cause  to  suspect  that  he  was  not  well 
established  in  his  former  sentiments;  that 
he  had  taken  them  upon  trust,  and  was  a 
stranger  to  the  arguments  wherewith  they 
might  be  defended,  and  to  the  objections, 
which  might  be  urged  against  them.  If 
worldly  interest,  reputation,  or  conveniency, 
seem  to  favour  the  change,  there  is  room  for 
a  presumption,  that  these  had  an  undue  in- 
fluence upon  him;  if  not,  it  may  be  insinu- 
ated, that  he  was  deluded  with  specious  ap- 
pearances, that  he  did  not  allow  himself 
time  to  weigh  the  arguments  pro  and  con ; 
that  he  had  only  changed  one  set  of  notions 
for  another,  without  having  duly  considered 
either  side.  Such  objections  may  reasonably 
be  made,  and  the  consequences  of  such  pre- 


126  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH  : 

cipitate  changes  too  often  justify  them.  But 
though  I  was  always,  and  still  am,  of  a 
headstrong, impetuous  spirit  in  other  things; 
and  when  once  I  have  purposed,  can  have 
no  rest  from  incessant  agitation  of  mind  till 
I  have  accomplished;  yet,  in  this  particular, 
I  acted  contrary  to  my  natural  temper.  In- 
deed, at  first,  I  did  in  some  instances  too 
much  betray  my  impetuosity;  but  at  that 
time  I  acted  not  in  the  character  of  an  in- 
quirer, but  in  full  confidence  that  it  was 
pleading  the  cause  of  truth,  and  had  no  more 
thought  of  becoming  what  the  world  calls  a 
Methodist,  than  of  turning  Mahometan;  and 
after  the  first  hurry  was  over,  though  com- 
monly in  earnest,  and  sometimes  in  conside- 
rable perturbation  of  mind,  I  was  outwardly 
calm  and  satisfied;  being  generally  enabled 
to  believe,  that  if  I  were  in  any  thing  at 
present  mistaken,  I  should  sometime  be 
guided  to  the  truth.  My  determination  to 
set  about  this  inquiry  proceeded  not  so  much 
from  anxious  fears  about  my  own  soul,  as 
from  a  deep  sense  impressed  upon  my  heart, 
of  the  importance  of  the  ministry,  and  the 
worth  of  souls  committed  to  my  charge,  and 
of  the  awful  account  to  be  given  of  them; 
and  as  I  all  along  bestowed  some  pains  in 
instructing  them  in  what  I  believed  to  be  the 
truth;  I  was  preserved  thereby  from  any  dis- 
composing fears,  or  undue  disquietude  of 
mind.  I  sat  down  very  coolly  to  search  for 
the  truth;  I  proceeded  very  gradually,  and 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        127 

with  extreme  caution:  I  took  up  no  one 
opinion  upon  trust ;  I  gave  up  none  of  my 
sentiments,  until  the  arguments  wherewith 
I  had  learned  to  defend  them,  were  con- 
vincingly answered;  nor  did  I  admit  any 
new  articles  into  my  creed,  till  either  every 
objection  was  obviated,  or  I  was  pressed  on 
the  other  hand  with  others,  still  more  unan- 
swerable. Much,  very  much,  prayer  and 
meditation  preceded  every  change  of  senti- 
ment; and  I  was  near  three  years  from  the 
beginning  of  my  inquiry,  before  I  came  to  a 
determination  what  was  the  truth.  So  long, 
deliberately,  and  step  by  step,  I  examined 
the  premises,  before  I  finally  proceeded  to 
draw  my  conclusion.  I  perceive  much  cause 
to  be  ashamed  of  my  unteachable  temper ; 
for  with  such  opportunities  as  were  afforded 
me,  if  I  had  improved  them,  I  might  have 
been  led  to  the  knowledge  and  belief  of  the 
same  truths,  in  much  less  time.  But  the 
Lord,  I  trust,  led  me  in  this  way,  and  left 
me  thus  far  to  my  own  natural  pride  of 
heart;  that  it  might  more  evidently  appear, 
that  I  received  not  my  doctrines  from  man, 
but  that,  indeed,  in  the  first  instance,  I 
learned  them  from  the  word  and  Spirit  of 
God. 

Ill,  Thirdly,  I  would  observe,  that  as  I 
changed  my  religious  views  deliberately,  so 
I  did  it  without  any  teaching  from  the  per- 
sons to  whose  sentiments  I  have^  now  ac- 
ceded.    For  a  considerable  time  after  the 


128 


THE    FOECE    OF   TRUTH: 


commencement  of  my  inquiries,  I  would  not 
so  much  as  read  what  they  had  to  urge  in 
their  own  behalf.  I  entered,  indeed,  into  a 
correspondence  with  Mr.  ;  but  my  in- 
tention was,  not  to  learn  from  him,  but  to 
dispute  with  him,  which,  when  he  waived, 
I  dropped  the  correspondence,  and  utterly 
neglected  his  letters,  as  not  considering  them 
worth  areperusal.  From  that  time  I  avoided 
his  company,  and  all  the  time  I  would  not 
hear  him  preach.  I  would  not  be  under- 
stood to  insinuate,  that   Mr.  hath  not 

been  useful  to  me:  he  hath  been,  and  con- 
tinues to  be,  eminently  so;  and  I  continually 
see  great  cause  to  bless  God  for  giving  me 
such  a  friend,  to  be  so  near  at  hand  on  all  oc- 
casions. But  this  I  assuredly  believe,  that 
had  I  never  seen  him  after  the  time  that  his 
example  had  put  me  upon  considering  my 
conduct,  I  should  have  arrived  at  the  same 
views  of  gospel  truth  which  I  now  have. — 
His  usefulness  to  me  hath,  all  along,  been  in 
those  matters  wherein  we  were  in  some  mea- 
sure agreed,  not  in  those  wherein  we  dif- 
fered; for  in  these  my  proud  heart  scorned  to 
have  him  for  a  teacher. 

At  the  same  time,  though  I  had  the  offer 
of  several  books  written  by  Dissenters  and 
Methodists,  I  dechned  them;  and  did  not  for 
near  two  years,  peruse  any  of  them  with  suf- 
ficient attention,  to  recollect  any  thing  of  con- 
sequence in  them.  I  say  not  this,  as  slighting 
these  books:  justice  requires  me  to  acknow- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       129 

ledge,  that  many  of  them  which  then  I  igno- 
rantly  despised,  contain  as  soHd  and  judicious, 
and  excellent  divinity,  as  hath  been  penned 
since  the  apostles'  days.  But  I  did  not  get 
my  system  from  them;  for  that  was  nearly 
completed,  before  I  was  prevailed  upon  to 
read  them.  My  studies,  beside  the  Bible, 
were  mainly  confined  to  authors  of  allowed 
reputation  in  the  church  of  England,  several 
of  which  I  have  mentioned.  Wherein  they 
differed  from  each  other,  (as  certainly  Til  lot- 
son  and  Hooker,  Jortin  and  Beveridge,  Bull 
and  Hall,  do  differ  very  much  indeed,)  I  en- 
deavoured to  judge  for  myself,  comparing  all 
of  them  with  the  word  of  God,  and  with  the 
articles,  homilies,  and  liturgy  of  the  church 
of  England;  and  from  such  authors,  thus 
compared,  as  far  as  the  writings  of  unin- 
spired men  have  been  instrumental  to  this 
change,  I  have  received  the  greatest  part  of 
my  present  opinions. 

But  let  it  be  observed,  that  the  further  these 
streams  are  traced  upward,  toward  the  foun- 
tain of  the  blessed  reformation,  the  purer  they 
flow,  according  to  my  present  judgment;  and 
I  have  no  doubt  but  I  could,  were  I  to  go 
about  it,  with  proper  helps,  prove  undeniably, 
that  there  is  nothing  material  preached  by 
me,  under  the  scandal  of  methodistical,  which 
was  not  preached  by  those  excellent  persons, 
who,  having  laid  the  foundation  of  our  church 
establishment,  gave  their  bodies  to  be  burned, 
in  confirmation  of  the  truths  they  taught.    It 


130  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 

is  much  to  be  wished,  that  their  hves  and 
discourses,  hving  and  dying,  and  their  re- 
maining writings,  were  more  generally  known 
amongst  us,  and  did  not  remain  locked  up 
from  the  world  in  large  foHos,  in  the  learned 
languages,  or  in  books  out  of  print,  or  exceed- 
ingly scarce :  the  effect  of  which  is,  that  the 
members  of  our  national  church  are  in  gene- 
ral utterly  ignorant  of  its  standard  doctrines, 
and  ignorantly  brand  those  as  Methodists 
and  enthusiasts,  who  preach  zealously  the 
very  doctrines  of  the  first  reformers. 

IV.  In  the  fourth  place,  I  would  observe 
the  great  influence  which  the  study  of  the 
Scriptures  had  in  producing  this  change. 

We  are  too  apt,  without  careful  examina- 
tion, to  take  things  for  granted;  and  to  collect 
our  scheme  of  divinity  from  other  authors, 
and  only  to  fetch  a  few  detached  texts  from 
the  Scripture,  which  appear  to  countenance 
our  preconceivedopinions;  neglecting,orvery 
slightly  considering  such  parts  of  the  word  of 
God,  as  seem  incapable  of  being  made  use  of 
to  our  purpose :  we  are  too  prone  in  availing 
ourselves  of  the  labours  of  critics  and  expo- 
sitors, to  resign  up  ourselves  implicitly  to 
their  guidance,  and  to  imagine  that  we  have 
proof  enough  of  our  doctrines,  if  we  can  pro- 
duce the  sanction  of  some  great  name,  which 
hath  espoused  and  maintained  them;  with- 
out carefully  examining  whether  they  be 
right  or  wrong:  but  this  is  to  pay  that  defer- 
ence to  the  human  interpretation,  which  is 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       131 

only  due  to  the  divine  book  commented  upon. 
We  ministers  especially,  though  at  ordination 
we  solemnly  promise  to  turn  all  our  studies,  as 
much  as  may  be,into  this  channel,  are  very  apt 
to  suffer  our  time  and  thoughts  to  be  engross- 
ed with  such  studies  and  employments  as  are 
foreign  thereto,  interfere  therewith,  and  leave 
at  most  but  a  secondary  attention  for  the 
study  of  the  word  of  God.  Hence  it  comes 
to  pass,  that  frequently  we  do  not  bestow  so 
much  pains  in  meditating  upon  the  Bible, 
and  in  comparing  spiritual  things  with  spi- 
ritual, one  Scripture  with  another,  with  what 
we  experience  in  our  own  hearts,  and  what 
we  hear  and  see  in  the  world  around  us,  as 
we  do  about  matters  of  far  less  consequence. 
So  that  probably  should  we  at  any  time  sit 
down  to  a  diligent  examination  of  the  whole 
word  of  God,  we  should  find  it  a  very  differ- 
ent book  from  what  we  expected:  thus  at 
least  it  hath  been  with  me,  and  possibly  it 
may  be  so  with  others. 

The  word  of  God  informs  us  that  true  wis- 
dom, the  saving,  practical,  and  experimental 
knowledge  of  divine  things,  is  not  to  be 
acquired  without  earnest  and  dihgent  seek- 
ing, (Prov.  ii.  1,  6.)  "My  son,  if  thou  wilt 
receive  my  words,  and  hide  my  command- 
ments with  thee;  so  that  thou  inchne  thine 
ear  unto  wisdom,  and  apply  thine  heart  to 
understanding:  yea,  if  thou  criest  after  know- 
ledge, and  lifteth  up  thy  voice  for  under- 
standing; if  thou  seekest  her  as  silver,  and 


1 32  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  ; 

searchest  for  her,  as  for  hid  treasures:  then 
shalt  thou  understand  the  fear  of  the  Lord, 
and  find  the  knowledge  of  God."  If  then 
our  wisdom  has  been  acquired  without  any 
of  that  eager  desire  after,  and  painful  dili- 
gence in  seeking  it,  with  which  the  covetous 
man  desires,  and  seeks  for  his  riches;  it  is  a 
shrewd  conjecture,  that  it  is  not  of  the  genu- 
ine sort.  Once  I  had  in  my  own  esteem  a 
sort  of  wisdom,  which  seemed  to  offer  itself 
to  me  spontaneously,  and  to  be  found  with 
little  seeking.  But  now  I  am  persuaded  it 
was  but  a  counterfeit;  a  fair  seeming,  perni- 
cious foolishness. 

But  that  which  I  now  esteem  to  be  true 
wisdom,  if  I  could  but  attain  unto  it,  is  not 
to  be  acquired  in  so  easy  a  manner.  When 
I  first  began  to  desire  and  seek  after  this  wis- 
dom, I  set  out  with  the  assurance,  that  it  was 
to  be  found  in  the  Holy  Scriptures,  and  no- 
where else,  these  alone  being  able  to  make 
us  wise  unto  salvation.  I  therefore  consider- 
ed myself  engaged  to  make  them  my  study; 
and  as  the  whole  was  given  by  inspiration 
from  God,  and  was  all  declared  to  be  profita- 
ble for  some  purpose  or  other,  according  to 
the  various  ends  for  which  the  Holy  Spirit 
designed  therein;  so  I  made  the  whole  my 
study  without  picking  and  choosing.  Thus 
I  learned  to  look  upon  the  Bible  as  my  book 
of  instructions,  given  me  along  with  my  min- 
isterial trust  by  my  Lord  and  Master;  that 
from  thence  I  was  to  draw  all  my  doctrines, 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       133 

instructions,  and  admonitions,  warnings,  ex- 
amples, rules  of  duty,  motives  to  duty,  and 
encouragement  therein:  and  I  also  consider- 
ed it  to  be  the  believer's  charter  of  privileges, 
containing  exceeding  great  and  precious  pro- 
mises,  and  the  whole  of  that  which  God  saw 
fit  to  reveal,  concerning  those  unspeakable 
and  inconceivable  good  things,  which  he 
hath  of  his  infinite  mercy  prepared  for  them 
that  love  him.  In  order,  therefore,  faithfully 
to  declare  my  message  from  the  Lord  Al- 
m-ighty  to  the  souls  of  men,  I  found  it  indis- 
pensably needful  to  be  well  acquainted  with 
every  part,  and  to  take  the  word  of  God  my- 
self, as  well  as  propose  it  to  others,  as  the 
lantern  of  my  feet,  and  the  hght  of  my  paths. 
And  not  only  to  attend  to  the  letter,  but  also 
to  the  true  meaning  of  the  Spirit  of  God 
therein.  This  I  found  to  be  a  work  that  re- 
quired much  time,  great  diligence,  mature 
consideration,  and  an  unbiassed, unprejudiced 
mind. 

With  this  view  of  the  matter  partly  ob- 
tained, and  continually  more  and  more  un- 
folding itself  to  my  mind,  I  studied  the  word 
of  God,  and  have  now  for  near  four  years 
employed  a  very  considerable  part  of  my 
time  therein,  neither  rejecting,  nor  greatly 
depending  upon  the  assistance  of  interpre- 
ters. I  all  along  sincerely  desired  to  know 
the  truth,  and  for  that  end  read  the  Scrip- 
tures, not  as  the  word  of  man,  but  as  the 
word  of  God.    And  though  there  have  been 


134  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH   : 

seasons  of  remissness,  when  other  employ- 
ments and  studies  too  much  interfered  with 
this  main  business;  and  though  at  first  I 
was  very  far  from  an  unbiassed  mind;  be- 
ing blindly  and  obstinately  prejudiced  against 
those  doctrines,  which  I  now  believe  to  be 
the  true  gospel  of  Jesus  Christ;  yet,  within 
that  space  I  have  read  the  Bible  several 
times  over,  in  every  part,  with  the  strictest 
attention  I  was  capable  of.  There  are  very 
few  passages  which  relate  to  doctrine,  that  I 
have  not  repeatedly  and  diligently  examined, 
comparing  one  with  another,  with  all  the 
care  and  consideration  I  could;  and  I  seldom 
ever  ceased  meditating  on  any  portion  of 
Scripture,  until  I  had  attained  to  some  satis- 
fying conclusion  concerning  its  true  mean- 
ing, and  agreement  with  other  Scriptures.  I 
may  truly  say  I  have  filled  reams  of  paper 
with  religious  discussions,  with  sermons,  ex- 
positions and  letters,  in  all  which  I  ransacked 
the  Bible,  to  bring  as  much  Scripture  evi- 
dence for  my  direction  as  possible.  For 
these  last  two  years  I  have  scarce  opened  a 
book  except  upon  religious  subjects,  and 
from  morning  till  night,  nearly  every  day, 
all  this  while,  my  thoughts  incessantly  have 
been  employed  in  meditation  upon  the  great 
truths  of  the  gospel.  Every  difficulty  and 
objection,  (and  difficulties  and  objections 
both  from  my  own  meditations,  and  in  the 
course  of  my  reading,  continually  crowded 
upon  my  mind,)  sent  me  to  the  word  of  God, 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       135 

and  increased  my  care  and  attention  in  ex- 
amining and  weighing  every  text  of  Scrip- 
ture, respecting  the  point  in  question,  before 
I  exchanged  my  old  opinion  for  a  new  one. 

Thus  I  may  truly  say,  I  have  sought  in 
the  word  of  God,  (that  field  in  which  alone 
this  precious  treasure  hes  hid,)  for  wisdom, 
for  the  saving  knowledge  of  divine  things,  as 
for  silver,  and  searched  for  her  as  for  hidden 
treasures.  And  though  I  am  sensible,  com- 
pared with  many,  with  whom  I  have  per- 
sonal acquaintance,  and  still  more  whose 
works  I  read,  my  knowledge  of  the  Scrip- 
tures is  superficial,  the  knowledge  of  a 
child,  of  a  mere  novice  in  the  school  of 
Christ;  yet,  I  trust  that,  as  far  as  relates  to 
the  leading  truths  of  the  gospel,  according  to 
the  promise,  I  am  brought  to  understand  the 
fear  of  the  Lord,  and  have  found  the  know- 
ledge of  God.  And  permit  me,  beloved 
reader,  to  put  thee  in  remembrance,  that 
until  thou  hast  with  some  good  measure  of 
this  diligence,  studied  the  whole  word  of 
God,  thou  runnest  very  great  hazards  in 
passing  judgment  upon  the  men  and  doc- 
trines; be  cautious  in  what  thou  doest;  let 
these  men  quite  alone,  until  thou  hast  imi- 
tated the  conduct  of  the  noble  Bereans;  and 
hast  thoroughly,  and  with  unbiassed  mind, 
examined  and  meditated  upon  the  whole 
word  of  God,  to  see  whether  the  things  they 
believe,  and  teach,  be  so  or  not.  Lest  other- 
wise it  should  come  to  pass,  (as  probably 


136  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

it  will,)  that  in  opposing  and  condemning 
them,  thou  shouldst  be  found  to  fight  against 
God.  And  0!  that  the  Lord  would  hear 
and  grant  my  request,  and  by  his  Holy  Spi- 
rit powerfully  incline  the  hearts  of  all,  who 
read  these  sheets,  according  to  their  leisure, 
station  in  life,  obligations,  and  opportunities, 
thus  attentively  to  read  their  Bibles;  not  as 
the  word  of  man,  but  as  the  word  of  God 
himself,  speaking  from  heawen,  and  unto 
them,  and  concerning  the  everlasting  inter- 
est of  their  precious  and  immortal  souls. 
Be  the  adviser  what  he  will,  despised,  and 
deserving  to  be  despised  for  a  Methodist,  the 
advice  is  undoubtedly  good:  advice  I  shall 
have  no  occasion  to  repent  having  thus  given 
you,  at  the  solemn  hour  of  death,  and  the 
awful  day  of  judgment;  advice,  which,  at 
those  approaching  seasons,  none  of  you  will 
repent  having  followed;  though  it  should 
divert  you  from  more  amusing,  and  at  this 
day  more  reputable  studies,  or  engross  that 
time,  that  you  have  been  accustomed  to  de- 
vote to  more  pleasurable  and  fashionable 
employments;  but  which,  neglected,  will 
be  an  additional  sting  in  every  conscience, 
through  all  the  countless  ages  of  eternity. 

And  0!  that  they  to  whom  the  chief  Shep- 
herd hath  committed  the  care  of  precious 
souls,  and  at  whose  hands  he  will  assuredly 
require  every  one  that  perishes  through  their 
default,  would  take  in  good  part  this  expres- 
sion of  the  very  affectionate  desire  of  my  soul. 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       137 

both  in  behalf  of  them,  and  their  flocks,  in 
dropping  down  these  hints  concerning  their 
peculiar  obligations,  to  devote  much  of  their 
time  to  the  attentive,  unbiassed  study  of  the 
word  of  God,  that  infinitely  best,  but  often 
least  studied  of  all  books.  What  avails  it, 
that  the  ministers  of  the  everlasting  Gospel 
should  be  learned  classics,  profound  philoso- 
phers, metaphysicians,  and  mathematicians, 
expert  logicians,  or  adorned  with  the  know- 
ledge of  the  politer  sciences;  if  they  are  un- 
acquainted, or  but  superficially  acquainted, 
with  the  sacred  Scriptures?  These  other 
branches  of  literature  may  amuse  and  enter- 
tain them,  may  procure  them  preferment, 
reputation,  respect,  and  favour;  but  it  is  the 
knowledge  of  the  Bible,  which  alone  can  en- 
able them  in  such  a  manner  to  attend  to  them- 
selves, and  to  their  doctrine,  as  shall  issue  in 
the  everlasting  salvation  of  their  own  souls, 
and  the  souls  committed  to  their  care.  Far 
be  it  from  me  to  presume  to  lay  down  my 
opinions  as  the  standard  of  doctrine,  or  a  rule 
for  the  faith  and  preaching,  of  my  brethren, 
in  this  sacred  ministry.  But  the  more  ob- 
scure I  am,  the  less  objection  there  can  rea- 
sonably be  against  my  just  hinting  to  them, 
that  if  any  one  should  find  this  subject  mani- 
fest itself  to  his  conscience,  and  make  him 
sensible,  that  verily  he  hath  been  faulty  in 
this  matter,  and  hath  been  attending  to  other 
employments,  and  studying  other  books  more 
than  the  word  of  God;  then,  possibly,  he 
12 


138  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

may  be  mistaken  in  his  sentiments  concern- 
ing the  doctrine  of  the  Gospel,  and,  being 
mistaken  himself,  may  be  misleading  others, 
to  the  endangering  of  their  immortal  souls; 
for  he  cannot  be  certain,  but  that,  should  he 
employ  some  years  in  this  single  study, (which 
its  importance  well  deserves,)  he  may  find 
the  Bible  a  very  different  book  than  he  ex- 
pected. 

V.  I  would  observe  the  influence  which 
prayer  appears  to  have  had  in  effecting  this 
change. 

I  am  aware  that  the  world,  though  called 
Christian,  is  come  to  such  a  pass,  that  the 
very  mention  of  this  subject,  in  many  com- 
panies, is  accounted  ill  manners,  or  even  re- 
ceived with  ridicule;  and  that  being  known 
to  live  a  life  of  prayer  and  communion  with 
God,  is  alone  sufficient  to  denominate  any 
person  a  Methodist.  However,  it  is  scarce 
needful  to  say,  how  full  the  word  of  God  is, 
of  precepts,  instruction,  exhortations,  invita- 
tions, promises,  and  examples  to  this  effect; 
he  never  read  his  Bible,  who  knows  not  this; 
nor  can  any  man,  under  any  pretence,  make 
a  jest  of  this  great  duty  and  privilege  of  a 
believer,  without  pouring  contempt  upon  the 
Holy  Scriptures,  and  insulting  the  brightest 
characters  therein  proposed  to  us  as  exam- 
ples, not  excepting  the  Lord  Jesus  himself. — 
Let  men,  therefore,  under  the  profession  of 
Christianity,  be  as  irreligious  and  profane  as 
they  please;  I  shall  not  be  ashamed  to  speak 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        139 

upon  so  unfashionable  a  topic;  for  if  the 
word  of  God  be  true,  he  never  knew  any- 
thing as  he  ought  to  know,  never  believed, 
never  repented,  never  performed  one  duty 
aright  in  his  life,  who  hath  not  sought  all  his 
wisdom,  knowledge,  faith,  repentance,  and 
sufficiency  for  obedience,  from  God,  by  fer- 
vent, instant,  and  persevering  prayer.  Time 
was,  even  since  I  had  souls  committed  to  my 
care,  that  I  lived  in  the  neglect  of  this  duty, 
and  so  without  God  in  the  world;  but  since, 
through  his  forbearance  and  mercy,  I  have 
been  in  earnest  about  the  salvation  of  my 
own  soul  and  their's,  I  have  not  been  left  to 
do  so.  However,  it  is  not  my  intent  to  speak 
any  further  on  this  subject,  than  relates  to 
the  matter  on  hand. 

The  word  of  God  promises  the  Holy  Spirit 
to  them  that  ask  him;  he  is  the  Spirit  of 
truth,  leads  into  all  truth,  teaches  all  things, 
and  searches  and  reveals  the  deep  things  of 
God.  The  leading  promise  to  the  church  is, 
(Isaiah,  liv.  13,)  "  That  all  her  children  shall 
be  taught  of  the  Lord."  (John  vi.  44,  45.) 
Referring  thereto,  Christ  hath  declared,  that 
none  can  come  unto  him,  except  he  be  drawn 
of  the  Father,  and  taught  of  God.  And  St. 
Paul  adds,  (1  Cor.  ii.  14,)  "But  the  natural 
man  receiveth  not  the  things  of  the  Spirit  of 
God,  for  they  are  foolishness  to  him,  neither 
can  he  know  them;  because  they  are  spirit- 
ually discerned."  The  natural  man  is  ex- 
plained in  Jude,  by  not  having  the  Spirit, 


140  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

which  is  evidently  the  Apostle's  meaning  in 
this  passage;  for  in  the  preceding  verse  he 
declares,  that  he  preached  the  gospel,  not  "  in 
words,  which  man's  wisdom  teacheth,  but 
which  the  Holy  Ghost  teacheth,  comparing 
spiritual  things  with  spiritual."  On  these 
grounds  I  concluded,  that  man's  natural  un- 
derstanding could  not  spiritually,  or  profita- 
bly, receive  the  knowledge  of  revealed  mys- 
teries, unless  it  be  enlightened  by  the  Holy 
Spirit.  I  learned  also  that  our  eyes  may  be 
bUnded  by  Satan,  the  God  and  prince  of  this 
world;  and  our  understandings  closed,  and 
a  veil  upon  our  hearts,  when  we  read  the 
word  of  God;  in  which  case  the  letter  of  the 
Scriptures,  without  the  Spirit,  only  killeth. 
Hence  the  need  of  our  understandings  being 
opened,  to  understand  the  Scriptures;  (for 
want  of  which  the  plainest  discourses  of  our 
Lord  to  his  disciples,  concerning  his  suffer- 
ings, death,  and  resurrection,  were  hid  from 
them,  and  they  understood  them  not;)  and  of 
the  veil  being  taken  from  our  hearts;  for 
want  of  which  the  Jews  in  reading  the  Old 
Testament  cannot  understand  the  plainest 
declarations  of  Moses,  and  the  prophets,  con- 
cerning their  promised  Saviour.  I  was 
taught  also  that  true  wisdom  was  the  gift  of 
God,  and  to  be  asked  of  him,  by  every  one, 
who  would  be  wise  unto  salvation,  that  *'  the 
secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  them  that  fear 
him;  and  that  those  who  receive  not  the  love 
of  the  truth,  that  they  might  be  saved^  are 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        141 

given  over  to  a  strong  delusion  to  believe  a 
lie;  that  they  might  all  be  damned,  who  be- 
lieved not  the  truth,  but  had  pleasure  in  un- 
righteousness."    (2  Thes.  v.  10 — 12.) 

On  these  grounds,  and  depending  upon 
the  promises  and  invitations  so  plentifully  in- 
terspersed through  the  Scriptures;  when  I 
began  to  inquire  after  the  truth,  I  began  also 
to  cry  unto  the  Lord  for  his  guidance  therein; 
and  as  my  mind  became  more  and  more  en- 
gaged, and  my  difficulties,  in  extricating  my- 
self from  the  labyrinths  of  controversy  in- 
creased, I  became  more  and  more  earnest, 
and  constant,  and  particular,  in  making  my 
request  known  unto  God.  My  constant 
prayer  to  the  Lord  was,  to  be  delivered  from 
pride  and  prejudice,  blindness  of  heart,  con- 
tempt of  the  truth,  obstinacy,  enthusiasm,  ig- 
norance, and  error.  That  the  Lord  would 
give  me  wisdom  and  knowledge,  guide  me 
to  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,  open  my  under- 
standing, take  away  the  veil  from  my  heart, 
and  make  known  unto  me  the  way  of  salva- 
tion, which  is  revealed  to  sinners  in  his  holy 
word.  Thus  waiting  upon  the  Lord,  accord- 
ing to  his  own  appointment,  depending  upon, 
and  pleading  his  promises  from  day  to  day, 
I  was  led  from  one  thing  to  another,  until  my 
view  of  religious  truth  was  totally  changed. 
This  I  most  firmly  believe  to  have  been  by 
the  promised  teaching  of  the  Spirit  of  truth, 
powerfully  enlightening  my  mind,  opening 
the  Scriptures,  and,  by  dispelling  the  clouds 


142  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

of  error,  and  prejudices,  enabling  me  to  re- 
ceive the  truth  therein  contained. 

But  though  I  am  not  ashamed  of  declaring 
my  desire  of  living  a  life  of  prayer,  and  com- 
munion with  God;  yet  I  have  no  intention  in 
speaking  thus  publicly  on  such  a  subject,  but 
to  advance  his  glory,  and  forward  the  salva- 
tion of  souls.  As  in  his  presence  I  declare, 
that  I  have  prayed  over  many  of  the  most 
interesting  passages  of  Scripture,  chapter  by 
chapter,  and  often  verse  by  verse,  with  the 
most  anxious  apprehensions  of  rejecting  or 
mistaking  the  truth,  or  embracing  a  false- 
hood; and  with  the  most  earnest  desire  of 
knowing  what  that  doctrine  was,  which  Jesus 
and  his  apostles  taught.  In  the  sight  of  God 
I  am  sensible  I  have  abundant  cause  to  be 
humbled,  and  ashamed  of  my  frequent  re- 
missness in,  and  the  continual  defilements  of, 
my  prayers:  but  as  surely  as  I  believe  his 
promises  to  be  faithful,  as  surely  I  believe 
him  to  be  a  God  that  heareth  prayers;  so 
surely  do  I  believe  that  flesh  and  blood  hath 
not  revealed  to  me  the  doctrines  I  now 
preach,  but  God  himself  by  his  Holy  Spirit. 

Reader,  whoever  thou  art,  if  thy  con- 
science testify,  that  thou  hast  hitherto  lived 
in  the  neglect  of  this  important  duty,  or  in 
the  formal,  lifeless,  and  unmeaning  perform- 
ance of  it  with  thy  lips,  whilst  thy  heart  hath 
been  disengaged,  and  thy  thoughts  allowedly 
wandering  to  the  ends  of  the  earth;  if  thou 
hast  not  been  accustomed  by  fervent  prayer 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       143 

to  seek  wisdom  from  God  by  his  teaching 
Spirit;  if  thou  knowest  not  what  it  is  to  ex- 
ercise faith  upon  the  promises  pointed  out  to 
thee,  nor  to  plead  them  in  prayer  to  a  pro- 
mise-keeping God;  if  all  thy  knowledge  of 
divine  things  hath  been  acquired  by  leaning 
to  thy  own  understanding;  if  in  reading  the 
Scriptures,  thou  hast  looked  more  to  learned 
critics,  commentators,  and  expositors,  than 
to  the  illuminating  Spirit  of  God,  sought  in 
humble  prayer,  to  open  thy  understanding, 
to  take  the  veil  from  thine  heart,  and  to  give 
thee  that  wisdom,  which  is  from  above;  then 
be  as  sure  as  the  word  of  God  is  true,  and 
we  are  concerned  in  it,  that  thou  art  in 
the  wrong,  the  light  that  is  in  thee  is  dark- 
ness, and  thou  knoweth  nothing  yet  as  thou 
oughtest  to  know.  May  the  Lord  effectually 
incline  thine  heart  to  take  a  contrary  course, 
and  to  seek  wisdom  where  alone  it  can  be 
found,  from  the  Lord,  the  Father  of  Lights, 
and  the  giver  of  every  good  and  perfect  gift, 
who  hath  invited  thee  to  ask,  that  it  may  be  , 
given  thee ! 

VL  I  would  observe,  that  there  is  nothing 
in  this  Narrative,  which  can  reasonably  be 
condemned  as  enthusiasm. 

It  is  allowed,  that  there  is  such  a  thing  as 
enthusiasm;  that  it  is  a  frequent  attendant 
on  religious  zeal;  that  in  some  of  its  opera- 
tions it  is  a  grievous  evil,  (I  speak  of  the 
faulty  enthusiasm;)  in  all,  attended  with  many 
inconveniences;  and  that  it  ought  very  care- 


144  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH: 

fully  to  be  guarded  against  by  every  religious 
professor,  and  zealous  preacher.  It  would 
also  be  in  vain  to  pretend,  that  the  late  re- 
vivals of  religion,  which  indiscriminately 
have  been  stigmatized  with  the  name  of 
Methodism,  have  been,  in  opinion  and  prac- 
tice, entirely  free  from  enthusiasm.  What 
revivals  of  religion  ever  were  free  from  such 
scandals?  Where  the  Lord  sows  his  good 
seed,  there  the  enemy  will  be  sure  to  scatter 
his  tares.  It  must  be  confessed,  that  some  of 
the  most  eminent  instruments  in  this  work, 
whose  names,  when  prejudice  shall  vanish, 
will  be  handed  down  with  honour,  as  burn- 
ing and  shining  lights,  to  the  latest  periods  of 
the  church,  have,  by  the  greatness  of  their 
zeal,  through  human  frailty,  been  betrayed 
into  sentim^ts,  expressions,  and  deportment, 
in  some  instances  justly  to  be  censured  as  en- 
thusiastical;  of  which  their  enemies  have 
not  failed  sufficiently  to  avail  themselves. 
But  whatever  indiscretions  and  mistakes 
particular  persons,  who  have  preached  these 
doctrines,  may  have  fallen  into,  this  doth  not, 
in  the  judgment  of  candid  and  impartial  per- 
sons^n  the  least  affect  the  general  cause,  or 
prove  the  doctrines  erroneous.  We  would 
not  contend  for  the  credit  of  individuals, 
or  the  interests  of  a  party:  but  for  the 
doctrines  of  God's  word,  and  of  the  es- 
tablished church  of  England.  These  will 
continue  true  and  important,  though  many 
of  those  who  have  zealously  and   success- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       145 

fully  preached  them,  should  have  justly- 
incurred  the  charge  of  enthusiasm.  •  All 
that  I  would  intimate  is  this;  that  a  man 
may  be  led  to  the  belief  of  those  doctrines, 
which  are  branded  as  Methodistical,  in  a  way 
of  sober,  rational  inquiry;  and  zealously 
preach  them  without  being  an  enthusiast. 

It  would  be  very  well,  if  some  of  those, 
who  so  readily  accuse  whole  bodies  of  appa- 
rently religious  persons  of  enthusiasm,  would 
favour  us  with  their  determinate  definition 
of  an  enthusiast.  In  its  original  meaning 
the  word  has  a  very  favourable  sense,  and 
implies,  that  by  a  divine  influence  upon  the 
soul,  a  man  is  filled  with  an  ardour  and 
warmth  of  zeal  in  the  cause  he  is  engaged 
in.  Now,  it  is  good  to  be  zealously  affected 
always  in  a  good  thing,  and  if  our  ardour  of 
soul  be  from  the  Spirit  of  God,  according  to 
the  revealed  will  of  God,  and  for  the  glory  or 
God,  it  is  the  noblest,  most  desirable,  most 
heavenly,  and  most  beneficial  exertion  of  the 
human  mind.  In  every  thing  but  religion  an 
ardour,  described  by  the  term  enthusiasm,  is 
allowed  and  commended:  a  poetical,  a  mili- 
tary, a  patriotic  enthusiasm,  even  when  they 
carry  men  beyond  the  strict  bounds  of  cold  rea- 
sonings, and  exact  prudence,  fail  not  to  meet 
with  admirers.  Our  zeal  may  be  fervent  in 
every  thing  without  censure,  save  when  we 
are  zealous  for  the  glory  of  God,  and  the  sal- 
vation of  immortal  souls.  But  there  is  an 
13 


146  THE    FORCE    OF    TRUTH: 

enthusiasm  of  this  sort,  which  forms  the 
highest  elevation,  and  the  noblest  effort  of 
the  hnman  soul.  Such  an  enthusiasm  ani- 
mated the  apostle  Paul,  in  all  his  self-deny- 
ing labours  and  sufferings,  and  filled,  (under 
the  guidance  of  the  Holy  Ghost)  his  writings 
with  such  ardent  zeal  for  the  honour  of  his 
dear  Saviour,  and  affection  for  the  souls  of 
men;  such  an  enthusiasm  he  expresses,  when 
he  says,  (2  Cor.  v.  13,  14,)  "Whether  we  be 
beside  ourselves,  it  is  to  God,  or  whether  we 
be  sober,  it  is  for  your  cause;  for  the  love  of 
Christ  constraineth  us."  Of  such  an  enthu- 
siasm as  this  I  wish  I  were  far  more  guilty. 
But  on  the  other  hand  there  is  danger  of  a 
counterfeit,  pernicious  enthusiasm,  and  about 
that  we  are  now  inquiring.  Now,  I  appre- 
hend, that  in  order  to  constitute  this  culpable 
enthusiasm, some  one  or  more  of  the  following 
things  must  appear;  either  the  ardour  of  the 
soul,  which  is  excited,  must  proceed  from  a 
heated  imagination,  or  from  a  delusion  of 
Satan,  instead  of  being  produced  by  a  divine 
influence;  or  the  cause,  in  which  this  ardour 
is  employed,  must  be  the  cause  of  self  and 
error,  instead  of  the  cause  of  God  and  truth; 
or  it  must  exert  itself  in  unjustifiable  mea- 
sures and  practices.  But  if  our  ardour  of 
mind  be  warranted  by  the  word  of  God;  if 
it  do  not  tend  to  the  dishonour  of  God;  and 
if  it  be  confined  in  its  exercise  to  the  rules 
and  precepts  of  the  word  of  God,  how  in- 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       147 

tense  soever  it  may  be,  I  can  see  no  cause  to 
censure  it;  unless  men  can  be  too  zealous  for 
the  glory  of  God,  and  the  salvation  of  souls. 
But  Avhatever  be  the  distinguishing  crite- 
rion of  enthusiasm,  I  suppose  it  v/ill  be  diffi- 
cult to  fix  a  charge  upon  it  of  any  thing,  for 
which  I  plead  in  this  Narrative.  I  never  was 
taught  any  thing  by  impulses,  impressions, 
visions,  dreams,  or  revelations;  except  so  far 
as  the  work  of  the  Spirit,  in  enlightening  the 
understanding  tor  the  reception  of  those  truths 
contained  in  the  Holy  Scriptures,  is  some- 
times styled  revelation.  Other  revelation  I 
never  expected  or  experienced,  nor  ever 
taught  others  to  expect.  Not  but  that  the 
Lord  is  sovereign,  and  may  do  what  he  will 
with  his  own;  and,  if  he  pleases,  may,  and  I 
suppose  sometimes  does,  go  out  of  the  ordi- 
nary course,  for  the  conversion  of  a  sinner, 
or  the  guidance  of  a  perplexed,  or  the  com- 
fort of  a  distressed  soul;  but  I  never  took  one 
step  in  dependence  on  any  such  extraor- 
dinary interpositions,  nor  encouraged  any 
person  to  do  so.  And  surely  it  will  not  be 
called  enthusiasm,  by  any  but  avowed  infi- 
dels, to  believe  God's  word  to  be  the  rule  of 
truth,  and  his  promises  to  be  faithful,  and  in 
this  belief  to  seek  for  the  knowledge  of  the 
doctrines  of  the  Gospel,  in  the  manner  re- 
lated. In  this  way  I  have  been  taught  no 
new  truths,  but  as  I  believe,  have  been  shown 
the  meaning,  use,  tendency,  consistency,  har- 
mony, wisdom,  and  glory  of  those   truths 


148  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH; 

which  are  contained  in  the  sacred  volume, 
but  which  before,  through  pride  and  igno- 
rance, I  perverted,  neglected,  reviled,  and 
counted  foolishness.  Nor  do  I  make  any  pre- 
tences to  infallibility;  God  hath  not,  I  trust, 
left  me  so  unstable,  as  to  float  about  in  the 
uncertain  stream  of  opinion,  and  to  be  tossed 
to  and  fro  with  every  wind  of  doctrine  by  the 
sleight  of  men,  and  cunning  craftiness,  where- 
by they  lay  in  wait  to  deceive.  As  to  the 
grand  doctrines  of  the  Gospel,  which  I  have 
endeavoured  to  mark  out  as  necessary  to  sal- 
vation, they  are  neither  so  uncertain  nor  so 
diflicult,  as  men  would  persuade  us;  their 
uncertainty  and  difficulty  arise  wholly  from 
our  pride,  prejudice,  love  of  sin,  and  inatten- 
tive ignorance  of  our  own  hearts.  There  is 
really  much  difliculty  in  bringing  vain  man 
to  cease  from  leaning  to  his  own  understand- 
ing; and  in  prevailing  with  him  to  trust  in  the 
Lord  with  all  his  heart,  and  to  be  willing,  in 
the  humble  posture  of  a  little  child,  to  be 
taught  of  God.  Nothing  but  a  deep  convic- 
tion of  guilt,  a  fear  of  wrath,  and  a  sense  of 
our  lost  condition  by  nature  and  practice,  can 
bring  our  minds  unto  this  submissive  frame; 
but  this  being  effected,  the  difficulty  is  over, 
and  the  way  of  salvation  is  so  plain,  that  the 
wa^^faring  men,  though  fools,  shall  not  err 
therein.  As  to  the  other  doctrines,  which  I 
beUeve  myself,  though  they  seem  plain 
enough  to  me,  I  desire  not  to  proselyte  others 
to  them,  but  am  willing  to  leave  them  as 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       149 

matters,  in  which  falUble  men  may  differ 
without  danger.  And  as  to  my  sufficiency 
for  the  faithful  discharge  of  my  ministry  to 
God's  glory,  and  the  salvation  of  souls,  he 
will  not,  I  trust,  deceive  my  expectations, 
which  are  grounded  on  his  promises;  for  the 
rest  I  mistake  daily,  and  find  myself  in  con- 
tinual danger  of  mixing  my  own  imaginations 
with  his  divine  truths,  and  following  my  own 
spirit  instead  of  his.  Whatever  I  preach  truly, 
or  do  wisely,  to  God  be  the  glory,  for  I  am 
not  sufficient  of  myself  to  think  a  good 
thought;  whatever  I  speak  falsely,  or  do 
foolishly,  to  me  be  the  shame,  for  it  is  the 
natural  fruit  of  my  own  deceitful  heart.  If 
this  be  enthusiasm,  it  is  an  enthusiasm  war- 
ranted not  only  by  the  word  of  God,  as  I 
have  endeavoured  to  prove,  but  by  the  whole 
liturgy  of  our  church.  We  all  at  ordination 
profess  to  be  moved  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  to 
take  the  ministerial  office  upon  us,  and  assu- 
redly we  cannot  be  moved  by  the  Holy 
Ghost,  if  we  have  not  the  Holy  Ghost,  nor 
may  expect  his  help  and  guidance.  We  agree 
to  pray,  that  the  Lord  would  lead  in  the  way 
of  truth  all  such  as  have  erred  and  are  de- 
ceived ;  that  he  would  illuminate  all  bishops, 
priests,  and  deacons,  with  true  knowledge 
and  understanding  of  his  holy  word;  that 
he  would  cleanse  our  hearts  by  the  inspi- 
ration of  his  Holy  Spirit;  that  he  would 
grant  us  true  repentance  and  his  Holy 
Spirit;  and  much  more  to  this  effect;  and  I 


150  THE    FORCE    OP   TRUTH  : 

am  persuaded  that  such  a  confidence  as  I 
have  expressed  cannot  be  censured  as  enthu- 
siasm, without  directly  including  our  church 
establishment  and  conthiual  public  worship 
in  the  same  charge. 

VII.  Lastly,  I  would  observe,  that  our  op- 
posers  and  despisers  will  seldom  give  us  the 
hearing.  With  all  their  pretensions  to  can- 
dour, reasoning,  and  free  inquiry,  they  accuse 
and  condemn  us  without  so  much  as  know- 
ing, with  any  tolerable  degree  of  accuracy, 
what  our  sentiments  are;  although  they  are 
furnished  with  such  plentiful  means  of  infor- 
mation, in  those  numerous  publications,  which 
are  now  extant  upon  these  subjects. 

Having  imbibed  strong  prejudices  against 
lis,  they  frame  so  contemptuous  an  opinion 
of  our  understandings  and  our  writings,  that 
they  will  not  bestow  so  much  pains,  or  afford 
so  much  regard,  as  to  peruse  our  books;  and 
to  call  an  author  a  Methodist,  is  with  many 
people  a  sufficient  reason  why  they  should 
not  read  his  works.  Hence  it  comes  to  pass, 
that  for  want  of  information,  our  doctrines 
are  grievously  misrepresented;  and  in  gene- 
ral the  attacks  made  upon  us,  though  they 
make  our  persons  odious  and  despised,  do 
not  in  the  least  affect  the  argument  in  de- 
bate. What  most  of  our  adversaries  know 
of  our  opinions,  are  only  scattered  fragments 
picked  up  by  hearsay,  wherein  neither  the 
connexion,  consistency,  tendency,  nor  appli- 
cation of  these  opinions  are  preserved;  and 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       151 

therefore  no  wonder  that  we  areviUfied,  and 
reproached  with  things  to  which  we  are  utter 
strangers,  or  which  we  abominate  and  pro- 
test against  from  Sabbath  to  Sabbath,  and 
against  which  we  neglect  not  to  fill  our  writ- 
ings with  reasonings,  warnings,  and  cau- 
tions. 

For  my  own  part  I  freely  acknowledge, 
that  my  strongest  objections  against  this 
scheme  of  doctrine  arose  wholly  from  mis- 
apprehension and  mistake.  Not  having  read 
their  books,  my  notions  of  the  doctrines  of 
the  Methodists  were  received  from  vulgar 
report,  and  from  their  enemies;  while  my 
own  creative  imagination  put  the  construc- 
tion upon,  and  drew  the  consequences  from 
them;  so  that  when  I  preached  against  them, 
I  was  as  one  fighting  with  my  own  shadow; 
and  in  speaking  evil  of  those  things  that  I 
knew  not,  I  only  betrayed  my  own  igno- 
rance and  pride.  No  better  founded  are  the 
lamentable  outcries,  which  at  this  day  are 
made  against  us  and  our  principles,  as  if  we 
were  endeavouring  to  banish  reason,  argu- 
ment, sober-mindedness,  and  morality  out  of 
the  world;  and  in  their  stead  to  substitute  a 
parcel  of  whimsical  vagaries,  which  are  with- 
out foundation  in  reason,  or  Scripture,  and 
have  no  influence,  or  rather  a  pernicious  in- 
fluence, on  our  conduct  and  conversation. 
When  such  a  declamation  is  ended,  (for  one 
would  not  interrupt  it,)  ask  the  declaimer 
what  a  Methodist  is?   He  can  scarce  give 


152 


THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH  : 


you  an  answer;  inquire  about  their  doc- 
triiies,  he  doth  not  understand  them;  their 
writings,  he  never  hath  read  them! 

Reader,  if  thou  desirest  to  l^now  what  our 
opinions  are,  and  what  reason  there  is  for 
these  heavy  charges,  read  our  books;  but 
read  them  with  attention,  and  aim  at  impar- 
tiaUty;  compare  them  with  the  word  of  God, 
and  with  the  liturgy,  articles,  and  homilies  of 
the  church  of  England;  and  if  thou  hast  lei- 
sure and  opportunity,  with  the  works  of  our 
first  reformers.  Nor  do  we  desire  thee  to 
renounce  thy  reason,  but  only  to  make  this 
reasonable  concession ;  that  where  thy  rea- 
son would  determine  one  way,  but  God 
hath  expressly  determined  another  way, 
thou  wouldst  allow  him  to  understand  his 
own  mysteries  better  than  thou  dost;  and 
that  therefore,  thou  oughtest,  by  faith,  ex- 
ercised upon  the  veracity  of  God,  to  receive 
those  matters  implicitly,  and  without  reason- 
ing, which  God  hath  revealed,  and  which 
thy  reason  feels  to  be  far  above,  out  of  its 
reach,  and  therefore  out  of  its  province. 
Whenever,  on  such  inquiry,  thou  discoverest 
us  to  be  mistaken,  there  dissent  from  us,  yea 
blame  us,  as  far  as  meekness  and  candour  will 
permit;  but  do  not  condemn  us  in  the  gross; 
do  not  assert  our  whole  scheme  of  doctrine 
to  be  enthusiastical  and  groundless,  though 
some  of  our  writers  should  be  found  to  have 
advanced  some  questionable  opinion.  This 
were  the  way  to  drive  all  truth  and  certainty 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.        153 

out  of  the  world;  for  what  book  can  be 
mentioned,  the  Bible  excepted,  wherein 
there  is  nothing  advanced,  either  erroneous 
or  questionable? 

And  be  assured,  it  is  no  argument  of  a 
sincere  desire  to  know  the  truth,  to  read  only- 
one  side  of  the  question,  and  then  clamor- 
ously to  adopt  every  childish  cavil,  every 
vague  report,  every  scandalous  falsehood; 
and  industriously  to  propagate  them,  as  if 
these  afforded  a  sufficient  confutation  of  all 
the  arguments,  authorities,  and  Scripture 
testimonies  wherewith  we  support  our  sen- 
timents. Observe;  that  though  some  pro- 
fessors have  been  proved  enthusiasts,  and 
others  detected  to  be  hypocrites,  this  doth 
not  prove  that  we  are  all  enthusiasts  and 
hypocrites.  Such  rash  judgments  hurt  not 
us,  but  those  that  pass  them. 

For  myself,  I  here  publicly  profess  that  I 
will,  to  the  end  of  my  days,  acknowledge  it, 
as  the  greatest  obligation  that  any  person  can 
confer  upon  me,  if,  in  the  spirit  of  meekness, 
he  will  point  out  to  me  any  error  or  enthu- 
siastical  delusion,  into  which  I  have  fallen, 
and  by  sufficient  arguments  convince  me  of 
it.  I  trust,  that  my  earnest  desire  to  discover 
the  truth,  as  it  is  in  Jesus,  has  not  abated  in 
its  influence,  and  that  I  retain  the  same  dis- 
interested resolution  to  embrace,  and  adhere 
to  it,  with  which  I  set  out.  Still  am  I  soli- 
citously fearful  of  being  betrayed  by  my 
warmth  of  spirit,  and  by  the  deceitfulness  of 


154  THE    FOECE    OF   TRUTH: 

my  heart,  into  erroneous  opinions.  But  it  is 
not  clamour  and  reproach,  or  objections  and 
arguments  brought  against  sentiments  I  de- 
test, or  consequences  I  allow  not,  and  do  not 
see  to  be  consequent  from  my  doctrines;  it 
is  not  such  reasoning  as  sets  one  divine  attri- 
bute at  variance  with  another,  and  makes 
one  part  of  the  Bible  contradict  another,  or 
exalts  the  human  understanding  upon  the 
tribunal,  and  arraigns  and  condemns  revealed 
mysteries  at  her  presumptuous  bar;  I  say, 
such  a  procedure  will  have  no  weight  with 
me,  or  with  any  who  ever  knew  the  grace  of 
God  in  truth. 

And  now,  beloved  reader,  let  me  conclude, 
with  leaving  it  upon  thy  conscience,  to  search 
for  the  truth  of  the  Gospel  in  the  study  of 
God's  word,  accompanied  by  prayer,  as  thou 
wouldst  search  for  hid  treasure.  I  give  thee 
this  counsel,  as  expecting  to  meet  thee  at  the 
day  of  judgment,  that  our  meeting  may  be 
with  joy,  and  not  with  grief;  may  the  Lord 
incline  thee  to  follow  it,  with  that  solemn  sea- 
son full  in  view!  Time,  how  short!  eternity, 
how  long!  life,  how  precarious  and  vanish- 
ing! death,  how  certain!  the  pursuits  and 
employments  of  this  present  life,  how  vain, 
unsatisfying,  trifling,  and  vexatious!  God's 
favour  and  eternal  life,  how  unspeakably 
precious!  his  wrath,  the  never-quenched  fire, 
and  the  never-dying  worm,  how  dreadful! 
Oh!  trifle  not  away  thy  span  of  life,  in  heap- 
ing up  riches,  which  shortly  must  be  left  for 


AN  AUTHENTIC  NARRATIVE.       155 

ever,  and  which  profit  not  in  the  day  of 
wrath;  in  such  pleasures  and  amusements, 
as  will  issue  in  eternal  torments;  or  in  seek- 
ing that  glory  which  shall  be  swallowed  up 
in  everlasting  infamy.  Agree  but  with  me 
in  this;  that  it  is  good  to  redeem  thy  precious 
time,  to  labour  for  the  meat  that  endureth 
unto  everlasting  life,  and  to  attend  princi- 
pally to  the  one  thing  needful:  take  but  thy 
measure  of  truth  as  well  as  duty  from  the 
word  of  God:  be  willing  to  be  taught  of  God; 
meditate  on  his  word  day  and  night;  let  it  be 
the  light  of  thy  feet  and  the  lantern  of  thy 
paths;  and  in  studying  it,  lean  not  to  thy  own 
understanding,  trust  not  implicitly  to  exposi- 
tors and  commentators,  but  ask  wisdom  and 
teaching  of  God.  And  be  not  a  Felix,  say- 
ing to  thy  serious  apprehensions  about  thy 
soul,  "  Go  thy  way  at  this  time,  when  I  have 
a  convenient  season  I  will  call  for  thee;"  lest 
death  and  judgment  come  before  that  season; 
be  not  an  Agrippa,  an  almost  Christian; 
but  seek  to  be  altogether  such  as  the  primi- 
tive Christians  were.  I  say,  agree  but  with 
me  in  these  reasonable  requests,  and  we  shall 
at  length  agree  in  all  things;  in  many  in  this 
world;  in  all,  when  we  hear  the  Son  of  God 
address  us  in  these  rejoicing  words,  '^Come, 
ye  blessed  of  my  Father,  inherit  the  kingdom 
prepared  for  you  from  the  foundation  of  the 
world."  May  the  Lord  vouchsafe  unto  the 
writer,  and  to  every  reader  of  this  book,  that 
wisdom  which  is  from  above;  that  teaching 


156  THE    FORCE    OF   TRUTH. 

of  his  Holy  Spirit  which  guides  into  the  ways 
of  peace;  that  faith  which  justifies;  that 
peace  of  God  which  passeth  understand- 
ing; and  that  measure  of  sanctifying  and 
strengthening  grace,  which  shall  enable  us  to 
hold  on,  and  hold  out  unto  the  end,  always 
abounding  in  the  work  of  the  Lord,  as  know- 
ing that  our  labour  shall  not  be  in  vain  in  the 
Lord. 


APPENDIX. 


LETTERS    ADDRESSED    TO   REV.    DR.    SCOTT,    BY   THE 
REV,    JOHN    NEWTON. 


LETTER  I. 

June  23,  1775. 
Dear  Sir: — I  have  met  with  mterruptions 
till  now,  or  you  would  have  heard  from 
me  sooner.  My  thoughts  have  run  much 
upon  the  subject  of  your  last,  because  I  per- 
ceive it  has  a  near  connection  with  your 
peace.  Your  integrity  greatly  pleases  me ; 
far  be  it  from  me  to  shake  the  principle  of 
your  conduct;  yet,  in  the  application,  I  think 
there  is  a  possibility  of  carrying  your  excep- 
tions too  far. 

From  the  account  you  give  me  of  your 
sentiments,  I  cannot  but  wonder  you  find  it 
so  difficult  to  accede  to  the  Athanasian  Creed, 
when  it  seems  to  me  you  believe  and  avow 
what  that  creed  chiefly  sets  forth.  The  doc- 
trine of  the  Trinity,  some  explication  of  the 
terms  being  subjoined,  is  the  Catholic  Faith; 
without  the  belief  of  which  a  man  cannot  be 


158  LETTERS    TO    THE 

saved.  This  damnatory  clause  seems  to  me 
proved  by  Mark  xvi.  16.  "He  that  be- 
lieveth  shall  be  saved,"  &c.  The  object  of 
faith  must  be  truth.  The  doctrine  of  the 
deity  of  Christ,  and  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  in 
union  with  the  Father,  so  that  they  are  not 
three  Gods,  but  one  God,  is  not  merely  a  pro- 
position expressed  in  words,  to  which  our 
assent  is  required,  but  is  absolutely  neces- 
sary to  be  known;  since  without  it  no  one 
truth  respecting  salvation  can  be  rightly  un- 
derstood, no  one  promise  duly  believed,  no 
one  duty  spiritually  performed.  I  take  it 
for  granted,  that  this  doctrine  must  appear 
irrational  and  absurd  in  the  eye  of  reason,  if 
by  reason  we  mean  the  reason  of  man  in  his 
fallen  state,  before  it  is  corrected  and  enlight- 
ened by  a  heavenly  teacher.  No  man  can 
say  Jesus  is  Lord,  but  by  the  Holy  Ghost.  I 
believe  with  you,  that  a  man  may  be  saved 
who  never  heard  of  the  creed,  who  never 
read  any  book  but  the  New  Testament,  or 
perhaps  a  single  Evangelist ;  but  he  must  be 
taught  of  God  the  things  that  accompany 
salvation,  or  I  do  not  think  he  can  be  saved. 
The  mercies  of  God  in  Christ  will  not  save 
any,  (as  I  apprehend,)  but  according  to  the 
method  revealed  in  his  word,  that  is,  those 
who  are  truly  partakers  of  faith  and  holi- 
ness. For  as  the  religion  of  the  New  Testa- 
ment ascribes  all  power  to  God,  and  consi- 
ders all  goodness  in  us  as  the  effect  of  his 
communication,  we  being  by  nature  destitute 


REV.    DB.    SCOTT.  159 

of  spiritual  life  or  light;  so  those  whom  God 
himself  is  pleased  to  teach,  will  infallibly  at- 
tain the  knowledge  of  all  that  they  are  con- 
cerned to  know.  This  teaching  yon  are 
waiting  for,  and  it  shall  be  given  you  ;  yea^ 
the  Lord,  I  trust,  has  begun  to  teach  you  al- 
ready: but  if  you  consider  yourself  as  a 
learner,  and  that  it  is  possible,  under  the 
Spirit's  increasing  illumination,  you  may 
hereafter  adopt  some  things  which  at  present 
you  camiot  approve,  I  should  think  it  too 
early  as  yet  to  prescribe  to  yourself  rules  and 
determinations  for  the  government  of  your 
future  hfe.  Should  the  will  of  God  appoint 
you  a  new  path  for  service,  he  may,  sooner 
than  you  are  aware,  quiet  your  mind,  and 
enable  you  to  subscribe  with  as  full  a  per- 
suasion of  mind  as  you  now  object  to  sub- 
scription. 

When  I  think  of  an  inclosure,  some  hedge, 
wall,  bank,  ditch,  &c.  is  of  course  included 
in  my  idea ;  for  who  can  conceive  of  an 
inclosure  without  a  boundary?  So,  in  a 
church,  there  must  be,  I  apprehend,  some- 
thing marked  out,  the  approbation  or  refusal 
of  which  will  determine  who  do  or  do  not 
belong  to  it:  And  for  this  purpose  articles 
of  some  kind  seem  not  improper.  You  think 
it  would  be  better  to  have  these  articles  in 
scriptural  expressions.  But  if  it  be  lawful 
to  endeavour  to  exclude  from  our  pulpits 
men  who  hold  sentiments  the  most  repug- 
nant to  the  truth,  I  wish  you  to  consider, 


160  LETTERS   TO    THE 

whether  this  can  be  in  any  measure  secured 
by  articles  in  which  the  Scripture-doctrines 
are  not  explained  and  stated,  as  well  as  ex- 
pressed. This  proposal  is  strenuously  pleaded 
for  by  many  in  our  day,  upon  views  very 
different  from  yours.  The  Socinians,  for  in- 
stance, would  readily  subscribe  a  scriptural 
declaration  of  the  high  priesthood,  atone- 
ment, and  intercession  of  Christ,  (while  they 
are  allowed  to  put  their  own  sense  upon  the 
terms:)  though  the  sense  they  maintain  be 
utterly  inconsistent  with  what  those  who  are 
enlightened  by  the  Holy  Spirit  learn  from  the 
same  expressions. 

I  acknowledge,  indeed,  that  the  end  is  not 
answered  by  the  present  method;  since  there 
are  too  many,  like  the  person  you  mention, 
who  would  easily  subscribe  nine  hundred 
articles,  rather  than  baulk  his  preferment: 
yet  the  profligacy  of  some  seems  to  be  no 
just  reason  why  the  church,  why  any  church, 
should  not  be  at  liberty  to  define  the  terms 
upon  which  they  will  accept  members  or 
teachers,  or  why  conscientious  persons  should 
object  to  these  terms,  (if  they  think  them 
agreeable  to  the  truth,)  merely  because  they 
are  not  expressed  in  the  precise  words  of 
Scripture.  If  allowance  may  be  made  for 
human  infirmity  in  the  Liturgy^  I  see  not 
why  the  Articles  may  not  be  entitled  to  the 
same  privilege.  For  it  seems  requisite  that 
we  should  be  as  well  satisfied  with  the  ex- 
pressions we  use  with  our  lips,  in  frequent 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  161 

solemn  prayer  to  God,  as  in  what  we  sub- 
scribe with  our  hands.  I  am  persuaded  that 
the  leaders  of  the  Association  at  the  Feathers 
Tavern,  some  of  them  at  least,  though  they 
begin  with  the  affair  of  subscription,  would 
not  (if  they  might  have  their  wish)  stop  there, 
but  would  go  on  with  their  projected  reform, 
till  they  had  overturned  the  Liturgy  also,  or 
at  least  weeded  it  from  every  expression  that 
bears  testimony  to  the  deity  of  the  Saviour, 
and  the  efficacious  influence  of  the  Holy  Spi- 
rit. I  bless  God  that  you  are  far  otherwise 
minded. 

I  hope,  however,  though  you  should  not 
think  yourself  at  liberty  to  repeat  your  sub- 
scription, the  Lord  will  make  you  comforta- 
ble and  useful  in  your  present  rank  as  a  cu- 
rate. Preferment  is  not  necessary,  either  to 
our  peace  or  usefulness.  We  may  live  and 
die  contentedly,  without  the  honours  and 
emoluments  which  aspiring  men  thirst  after, 
if  he  be  pleased  to  honour  us  with  a  dispen- 
sation to  preach  his  Gospel,  and  to  crown  our 
endeavours  with  a  blessing.  He  that  win- 
neth  souls  is  wise ;  wise  in  the  choice  of  the 
highest  end  he  can  propose  to  himself  in  this 
life;  wise  in  the  improvement  of  the  only 
means  by  which  this  desirable  end  can  be  at- 
tained. Wherever  we  cast  our  eyes,  the  bulk 
of  the  people  are  ignorant,  immoral,  careless. 
They  live  without  God  in  the  world;  they  are 
neither  awed  by  his  authority,  nor  affecte'd  by 
his  goodness,  nor  enabled  to  trust  to  his  pro- 
14 


162  LETTERS    TO    THE 

mises,  nor  disposed  to  aim  at  his  glory.  If, 
perhaps,  they  have  a  serious  interval,  or  some 
comparative  sobriety  of  character,  they 
ground  their  hopes  upon  their  own  doings, 
endeavours,  or  purposes;  and  treat  the  inex- 
pressible love  of  God  revealed  in  Christ,  and 
the  Gospel  method  of  salvation  by  faith  in 
his  name,  with  neglect,  often  with  contempt. 
They  have  preachers,  whom  perhaps  they 
hear  with  some  pleasure  because  they  neither 
alarm  their  consciences  by  insisting  on  the 
spirituality  and  sanction  of  the  divine  law, 
nor  offend  their  pride  by  publishing  the  hu- 
miliating doctrines  of  that  Gospel,  which  is 
the  power  of  God  through  faith  unto  salva- 
tion. Therefore  what  they  do  speak,  they 
speak  in  vain ;  the  world  grows  worse  and 
worse  under  their  instructions;  infidelity  and 
profligacy  abound  more  and  more;  for  God 
will  own  no  other  doctrine  but  what  the  apos- 
tle calls  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus;  that  doc- 
trine which  drives  the  sinner  from  all  his  vain 
pleas,  and  points  out  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ 
as  the  only  ground  of  hope,  the  supreme  ob- 
ject of  desire,  as  appointed  of  God  to  be  wis- 
dom, righteousness,  sanctification,  and  re- 
demption, to  all  who  believe  in  his  name. — 
When  ministers  themselves  are  convinced  of 
sin,  and  feel  the  necessity  of  an  Almighty 
Saviour,  they  presently  account  their  former 
gain  but  loss,  and  determine,  with  the  apos- 
tle, to  know  nothing  but  Jesus  Christ  and  him 
crucified.  In  proportion  as  they  do  this,  they 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  163 

are  sure  to  be  wondered  at,  laughed  at,  and 
railed  at,  if  the  providence  of  God  and  the 
constitution  of  their  country,  secure  them 
from  severer  treatment.  But  they  have  this 
invaluable  compensation,  and  they  no  longer 
speak  without  effect.  In  a  greater  or  less 
degree  a  change  takes  place  in  their  audito- 
ries; the  bhnd  receive  their  sight,  the  deaf 
hear,  the  lepers  are  cleansed; — sinners  are 
turned  from  darkness  to  light,  and  from  the 
power  of  Satan  to  God; — sinful  practices  are 
forsaken;  and  a  new  course  of  life  in  the 
converts,  evidences  that  they  have  not  fol- 
lowed cunningly-devised  fables,  or  taken  up 
with  uncertain  notions;  but  that  God  has  in- 
deed quickened  them  by  his  Spirit,  and  given 
them  an  understanding  to  know  him  that  is 
true.  The  preachers,  likewise,  while  they 
attempt  to  teach  others,  are  taught  them- 
selves: a  blessing  descends  upon  their  studies 
and  labours,  upon  their  perusal  of  the  Scrip- 
tures, upon  their  attention  to  what  passes 
within  them  and  around  them.  The  events 
of  every  day  contribute  to  throw  light  upon 
the  word  of  God:  their  views  of  divine  truth 
grow  more  enlarged,  connected,  and  com- 
prehensive; many  difficulties  which  per- 
plexed them  at  their  first  setting  out,  trouble 
them  no  m.ore;  the  God  whom  they  serve, 
and  on  whom  they  wait,  reveals  to  them 
those  great  things,  which,  though  plainly  ex- 
pressed in  the  letter  of  Scripture,  cannot  be 
understood  and  realized  without  divine  teach- 


164  LETTERS   TO    THE 

ing,  1.  Cor.  ii.  9  to  15.  Thus  they  go  on 
from  strength  to  strength;  hard  things  be- 
come easy,  and  a  divine  Ught  shines  upon 
their  paths.  Opposition  from  men  per- 
haps may  increase ;  they  may  expect  to  be 
represented,  as  those  who  turn  the  world  up- 
side down;  the  cry.  Great  is  Diana,  will  be 
raised  against  them,  the  gates  of  the  temple 
of  preferment  will  be  seldom  open  to  them ; 
but  they  will  have  the  unspeakable  consola- 
lation  of  applying  to  themselves  those  lively 
words  of  the  apostle,  "  As  sorrowful,  yet 
always  rejoicing;  as  poor,  yet  making  many 
rich ;  as  having  nothing,  and  yet  possessing 
all  things." 

It  is  the  strain  of  evident  sincerity  which 
runs  through  your  letters  that  gives  me  a 
pleasing  confidence  the  Lord  is  with  you. 
A  disinterested  desire  of  knowing  the  truth, 
with  a  willingness  to  follow  it  through  all 
disadvantages,  is  a  preparation  of  the  heart 
which  only  God  can  give.  He  has  directed 
you  to  the  right  method,  searching  the  Scrip- 
tures, with  prayer.  Go  on,  and  may  his 
blessing  attend  you.  You  may  see,  from 
what  I  have  written  above,  what  is  the  de- 
sire of  my  heart  for  you.  But  I  am  not  im- 
patient. Follow  your  heavenly  leader,  and 
in  his  own  time  and  manner  he  will  make 
your  way  plain.  I  have  travelled  the  path 
before  you.  I  see  what  you  yet  want;  I  can- 
not impart  it  to  you,  but  he  can,  and  I  trust, 
he  will.     It  will  rejoice  my  soul  to  be  any 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  165 

way  assistant  to  you;  but  I  am  afraid  I 
should  not  afford  you  much,  either  profit  or 
satisfaction,  by  entering  upon  a  dry  defence 
of  creeds  and  articles. 

The  truths  of  Scripture  are  notUke  mathe- 
matical theorems,  which  present  exactly  the 
same  ideas  to  every  person  who  understands 
the  terms.  The  word  of  God  is  compared 
to  a  mirror,  2  Cor.  iii.  18:  but  it  is  a  mirror  in 
which  the  longer  we  look  the  more  we  see  ; 
the  view  will  be  still  growing  upon  us ;  and 
still  we  shall  see  but  in  part  while  on  this 
side  eternity.  When  our  Lord  pronounced 
Peter  blessed,  declaring  he  had  learnt  that 
which  flesh  and  blood  could  not  have  taught 
him,  yet  Peter  was  at  that  time  much  in  the 
dark.  The  sufferings  and  death  of  Jesus, 
though  the  only  and  necessary  means  of  his 
salvation,  were  an  offence  to  him.  But  he 
lived  to  glory  in  what  he  once  could  not  bear 
to  hear  of.  Peter  had  received  grace  to  love 
the  Lord  Jesus,  to  follow  him,  to  venture  all, 
and  to  forsake  all  for  him :  these  first  good 
dispositions  were  of  God,  and  they  led  to 
further  advances.  So  it  is  still.  By  nature, 
self  rules  in  the  heart :  when  this  idol  is 
brought  low,  and  we  are  truly  willing  to  be 
the  Lord's,  and  to  apply  to  him  for  strength 
and  direction,  that  we  may  serve  him,  the 
good  work  is  begun ;  for  it  is  a  truth  that  up- 
holds universally  and  without  exception,  a 
man  can  receive  nothing  except  it  be  given 
him  from  heaven.     The  Lord  first  finds  us 


166  LETTERS    TO   THE 

when  we  are  thinking  of  something  else, 
Isaiah  Ixv.  1;  and  then  we  begin  to  seek  him 
in  good  earnest,  and  he  has  promised  to  be 
found  of  us.  People  may,  by  industry  and 
natural  abilities,  make  themselves  masters  of 
the  external  evidences  of  Christianity,  and 
have  much  to  say  for  and  against  different 
schemes  and  systems  of  sentiments;  but  all 
this  while  the  heart  remains  untouched. 
True  religion  is  not  a  science  of  the  head,  so 
much  as  an  inward  and  heartfelt  perception, 
which  casts  down  imaginations,  and  every 
thought  that  exalteth  itself  in  the  mind,  and 
brings  every  thought  into  a  sweet  and  wil- 
ling subjection  to  Christ  by  faith.  Here  the 
learned  have  no  real  advantage  above  the 
ignorant;  both  see  when  the  eyes  of  the  un- 
derstanding are  enlightened:  till  then  both 
are  equally  blind.  And  the  first  lesson  in  the 
school  of  Christ  is  to  become  a  little  child, 
sitting  simply  at  his  feet,  that  we  may  be 
made  wise  unto  salvation. 

I  was  not  only  prevented  beginning  my 
letter  so  soon  as  I  wished,  but  have  been  un- 
usally  interrupted  since  I  began  it.  Often, 
as  soon  as  I  could  well  take  the  pen  in  hand, 
I  have  been  called  away  to  attend  company 
and  intervening  business.  Though  I  per- 
suade myself,  after  what  I  have  formerly 
said,  you  will  put  a  favourable  construction 
upon  my  delay,  yet  it  has  given  me  some 
pain.  I  set  a  great  value  upon  your  offer  of 
friendship,  which,  I  trust,  will  not  be  inter- 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  167 

rupted  on  either  side  by  the  freedom  with 
which  we  mutually  express  our  difference  of 
sentiments,  when  we  are  constrained  to  differ. 
You  please  me  with  entrusting  me  with  the 
first  rough  draught  of  your  thoughts;  and 
you  may  easily  perceive  by  my  manner  of 
writing,  that  I  place  equal  confidence  in 
your  candour.  I  shall  be  glad  to  exchange 
letters  as  often  as  it  suits  us,  without  con- 
straint, ceremony,  or  apology;  and  may  he 
who  is  always  present  with  our  hearts  make 
our  correspondence  useful.  I  pray  God  to  be 
your  sun  and  shield,  your  light  and  strength, 
to  guide  you  with  his  eye,  to  comfort  you 
with  his  gracious  presence  in  your  own  soul, 
and  to  make  you  a  happy  instrument  of  com- 
forting many. — I  am,  &c. 


LETTER  II. 

July  14,  1775. 
My  dear  Friend, — I  gladly  adopt  your  ad- 
dress, and  can  assure  you  that  the  interchange 
of  every  letter  unites  my  heart  more  closely 
to  you.  I  am  glad  to  find  that  your  views 
of  articles  and  creeds  are  not  likely  to  hinder 
you  from  going  forward  in  your  present  situ- 
ation; and  if,  without  contracting  your  use- 
fulness, they  only  prove  a  bar  to  your  prefer- 
ment, I  am  sure  it  will  be  no  grief  of  mind  to 
you  at  the  hour  of  death,  or  the  day  of  judg- 
ment, that  you  were  enabled  to  follow  the 


168  LETTERS   TO    THE 

dictates  of  conscience,  in  opposition  to  all  the 
pleas  of  custom  or  interest.  Since,  there- 
fore, I  have  no  desire  of  shaking  your  re- 
solves, may  we  not  drop  this  subject  entirely. 
The  propriety  of  our  national  establishment, 
or  of  any  other,  is  what  I  have  not  much  to  do 
with ;  I  found  it  as  it  is,  nor  have  I  influence 
to  alter  it  were  I  willing.  The  question  in 
which  I  was  concerned  was  simply,  Whether 
I.  things  being  as  they  were,  could  submit  to 
it,  so  as  conscientiously  to  take  a  designation 
to  the  ministry  under  it?  I  thought  I  could; 
I  accordingly  did,  and  I  am  thankful  that  I 
never  have  seen  cause  to  repent  it. 

You  seem  gently  to  charge  me  with  a  want 
of  candour  in  what  I  observed  or  apprehend- 
ed concerning  the  gentlemen  of  the  Feathers 
tavern.  If  I  mistake  not,  (for  I  retain  no 
copies  of  my  letters,)  I  expressed  myself  with 
a  double  restriction,  by  first  saying  the  lead- 
ers of  that  society,  and  then  adding,  or  some 
of  them  at  least.  I  apprehend  your  candour 
will  hardly  lead  you  to  suppose,  that  there 
are  none  amongst  them  who  would  pull  down 
the  whole  fabric,  (that  is,  I  mean  so  far  as  it 
crosses  the  Socinian  scheme,)  if  it  was  left  to 
their  choice.  I  apprehend  I  may,  without 
the  least  breach  of  candour,  suppose  that  the 
exception  swhich  Mr.  Lindsay  has  made  to 
the  Liturgy,  are  not  peculiar  to  himself.  It 
seems  plain  in  his  case,  and  from  his  own 
writings,  that  the  mere  removal  of  subscrip- 
tions, which  is  the  immediate  and  ostensible 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  169 

object  of  the  clerical  petition,  could  not  have 
satisfied  him;  and  it  is  past  a  doubt  with  me, 
that  there  are  others  of  the  clergy  like-mind- 
ed with  him.  Indeed  I  could  wish  to  be 
thought  candid  by  you;  though  I  confess,  I 
am  not  a  friend  to  that  luke-warmness  and 
indifference  for  truth,  which  bears  the  name 
of  candour  among  many  in  the  present  day. 
I  desire  to  maintain  a  spirit  of  candour  and 
benevolence  to  all  men,  to  wish  them  well, 
to  do  them  every  good  office  in  my  power, 
and  to  commend  what  appears  to  me  com- 
mendable in  a  Socinian,  as  readily  as  in  a 
Calvinist.  But  with  some  people  I  can  only 
go  usque  ad  aras.  I  must  judge  of  princi- 
ples by  the  word  of  God,  and  of  the  tree  by 
its  fruit.  I  meddle  with  no  man's  final  state; 
because  I  know  that  he  who  is  exalted  to 
give  repentance  and  remission  of  sins,  can  do 
it  whenever,  and  to  whomsoever  he  is  pleas- 
ed: Yet  I  firmly  believe,  and  I  make  no  scru- 
ple of  proclaiming  it,  that  swearers,  drunk- 
ards, adulterers,  continuing  such,  cannot 
inherit  the  kingdom  of  God:  and  I  look  with 
no  less  compassion  upon  some  persons,  whose 
characters  in  common  life  may  be  respecta- 
ble, when  I  see  them  unhappily  blinded  by 
their  own  wisdom;  and  while  they  account 
themselves  and  are  accounted  by  many 
others,  master-builders  in  Zion,  rejecting 
the  only  foundation  upon  which  a  sinner's 
hope  can  be  safely  built. 

I  am  far  from  thinking  the  Socinians  all 
15 


170  LETTERS   TO   THE 

hypocrites,  but  I  think  they  are  all  in  a  most 
dangerous  error;  nor  do  their  principles  ex- 
hibit to  my  view  a  whit  more  of  the  genuine 
fruits  of  Christianity  than  Deism  itself.  You 
say,  "  If  they  be  sincere,  and  fail  not  for  want 
of  diligence  in  searching,  I  cannot  help  think- 
ing, that  God  will  not  condemn  them  for  an 
inevitable  defect  in  their  understandings." 
Indeed,  my  friend,  I  have  such  a  low  opinion 
of  man  in  his  depraved  state,  that  I  believe 
no  one  has  real  sincerity  in  religious  matters 
till  God  bestows  it;  and  when  he  makes  a 
person  sincere  in  his  desires  after  truth,  he 
will  assuredly  guide  him  to  the  possession  of 
it  in  due  time,  as  our  Lord  speaks,  John  vi. 
44,  45.  To  suppose  that  any  persons  can 
sincerely  seek  the  way  of  salvation,  and  yet 
miss  it  through  an  inevitable  defect  of  their 
understandings,  would  contradict  the  plain 
promises  of  the  gospel,  such  as,  Matth.  vii. 
7,  8.  John  vii.  16,  17.;  but  to  suppose  that 
nothing  is  necessary  to  be  known,  which 
some  people  who  possess  sincerity  cannot 
receive,  would  be  in  effect  to  make  the  Scrip- 
ture a  nose  of  wax,  and  open  a  wide  door  for 
scepticism.  I  am  not  a  judge  of  the  heart; 
but  I  may  be  sure,  that  whoever  makes  the 
foundation-stone  a  rock  of  offence,  cannot  be 
sincere  in  his  inquiries.  He  may  study  the 
Scripture  accurately,  but  he  brings  his  own 
preconceived  sentiments  with  him,  and  in- 
stead of  submitting  them  to  the  touchstone  of 
truth,  he  makes  them  a  rule  by  which  he  in- 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  171 

terprets.  That  they  who  lean  to  their  OAvn 
understandings  should  stumble  and  miscarry, 
I  cannot  wonder;  for  the  same  God  who  has 
promised  to  fill  the  hungry  with  good  things, 
has  threatened  to  send  the  rich  empty  away. 
So  Matth.  xi.  25.  It  is  not  through  defect  of 
understanding,  but  a  want  of  simplicity  and 
humility,  that  so  many  stumble  like  the  blind 
at  noon-day,  and  can  see  nothing  of  those 
great  truths  which  are  written  in  the  gospel 
as  with  a  sun-beam. 

You  wish  me  to  explain  myself  concerning 
the  doctrine  of  the  Trinity.  I  will  try,  yet  I 
know  I  cannot,  any  further  than  as  he  who 
taught  me  shall  be  pleased  to  bear  witness  in 
your  heart  to  what  I  say.  My  first  principle 
in  religion  is  what  the  Scripture  teaches  me 
of  the  utter  depravity  of  human  nature,  in 
connection  with  the  spirituality  and  sanction 
of  the  law  of  God.  I  believe  we  are  by  na- 
ture sinners,  by  practice  universally  trans- 
gressors; that  we  are  dead  in  trespasses  and 
sins;  and  that  the  bent  of  our  natural  spirit 
is  enmity  against  the  holiness,  government, 
and  grace  of  God.  Upon  this  ground,  I  see, 
feel,  and  acknowledge  the  necessity  of  such 
a  salvation  as  the  gospel  proposes,  which,  at 
the  same  time  that  it  precludes  boasting,  and 
stains  the  pride  of  all  human  glory,  affords 
encouragement  to  those  who  may  be  thought, 
or  who  may  think  themselves,  the  weakest 
or  the  vilest  of  mankind.  I  believe,  that 
whatever  notions  a  person  may  take  up  from 


172  LETTERS    TO  THE 

education  or  system,  no  one  ever  did,  or  ever 
will,  feel  himself  and  own  himself  to  be  such 
a  lost,  miserable,  hateful  sinner,  unless  he  be 
powerfully  and  supernaturally  convinced  by 
the  spirit  of  God. — There  is,  when  God 
pleases,  a  certain  light  thrown  into  the  soul, 
which  differs  not  merely  in  degree,  but  in 
kind,  toto  genere^  from  any  thing  that  can 
be  effected  or  produced  by  moral  persuasion 
or  argument.  But  (to  take  in  another  of 
your  queries)  the  Holy  Spirit  teaches  or  re- 
veals no  new  truths,  either  of  doctrine  or  pre- 
cept, but  only  enables  us  to  understand  what 
is  already  revealed  in  the  Scripture.  Here  a 
change  takes  place,  the  person  that  was  spi- 
ritually blind  begins  to  see.  The  sinner's 
character,  as  described  in  the  word  of  God, 
he  finds  to  be  a  description  of  himself;  that 
he  is  afar  off, a  stranger, a  rebel;  that  he  has 
hitherto  lived  in  vain.  Now  he  begins  to 
see  the  necessity  of  an  atonement,  an  advo- 
cate, a  shepherd,  a  comforter:  he  can  no 
more  trust  to  his  own  wisdom,  strength,  and 
goodness;  but,  accounting  all  his  former  gain 
but  loss,  for  the  excellency  of  the  knowledge 
of  Christ,  he  renounces  every  other  refuge, 
and  ventures  his  all  upon  the  person,  work, 
and  promise  of  the  Redeemer,  In  this  way, 
I  say,  he  will  find  the  doctrine  of  the  Trinity 
not  only  a  proposition,  but  a  principle;  that 
is,  from  his  own  wants  and  situation  he  will 
have  an  abiding  conviction,  that  the  Son  and 
Holy  Spirit  are  God,  and  must  be  possessed 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  173 

of  the  attributes  and  powers  of  Deity,  to  sup- 
port the  offices  the  Scriptures  assign  them, 
and  to  deserve  the  confidence  and  worship 
the  Scriptures  require  to  be  placed  in  them, 
and  paid  to  them.  Without  this  awakened 
state  of  mind,  a  divine,  reputed  orthodox, 
will  blunder  wretchedly  even  in  defending 
his  own  opinions.  I  have  seen  laboured  de- 
fences of  the  Trinity,  which  have  given  me 
not  much  more  satisfaction  than  I  should 
probably  receive  from  a  dissertation  upon 
the  rainbow  composed  by  a  man  blind  from 
his  birth.  In  effect,  the  knowledge  of  God 
cannot  be  attained  by  studious  discussion  on 
our  parts;  it  must  be  by  a  revelation  on  his 
part,  Matt.  xi.  27,  and  xvi.  17;  a  revelation, 
not  objectively  of  new  truth,  but  subjectively 
of  new  light  in  us.  Then  he  that  runs  may 
read.  Perhaps  you  may  not  quite  under- 
stand my  meaning,  or  not  accede  to  my  sen- 
timent at  present;  I  have  little  doubt,  how- 
ever, but  the  time  is  coming  when  you  will. 
I  believe  the  Lord  God  has  given  you  that 
sincerity,  which  he  never  disappoints. 

Far  be  it  from  me  to  arrogate  infallibility 
to  myself,  or  to  any  writer  or  preacher;  yet, 
blessed  be  God,  I  am  not  left  to  float  up  and 
down  the  uncertain  tide  of  opinion,  in  those 
points  wherein  the  peace  of  my  soul  is  nearly 
concerned.  I  know,  yea  I  infallibly  know 
whom  I  have  believed.  I  am  under  no  more 
doubt  about  the  way  of  salvation  than  of  the 
way  to  London.     I  cannot  be  deceived,  be- 


174  LETTERS    TO   THE 

cause  the  word  of  God  cannot  deceive  me. 
It  is  impossible,  however,  for  me  to  give  you 
or  any  person  full  satisfaction  concerning  my 
evidence,  because  it  is  of  an  experimental 
nature.  Rev.  ii.  17.  In  general,  it  arises 
from  the  views  I  have  received  of  the  power, 
compassion,  and  grace  of  Jesus,  and  a  con- 
sciousness, that  I,  from  a  conviction  of  my  sin 
and  misery,  have  fled  to  him  for  refuge,  in- 
trusted and  devoted  myself  and  my  all  to 
him.  Since  my  mind  has  been  enlightened, 
every  thing  within  me,  and  every  thing 
around  me,  confirms  and  explains  to  me 
what  I  read  in  Scripture;  and  though  I  have 
reason  enough  to  distrust  my  own  judgment 
every  hour,  yet  I  have  no  reason  to  question 
the  great  essentials,  which  the  Lord  himself 
hath  taught  me. 

Besides  a  long  letter,  I  send  you  a  great 
book.  A  part  of  it  (for  I  do  not  ask  you  to 
read  the  whole)  may  perhaps  explain  my 
meaning  better  than  I  have  leisure  to  do  my- 
self. I  set  a  high  value  upon  this  book  of 
Mr.  Halyburton's;  so  that  unless  I  could  re- 
place it  with  another,  I  know  not  if  I  would 
part  with  it  for  its  weight  in  gold.  The  first 
and  longest  treatise  is  in  my  judgment,  a 
master-piece;  but  I  would  chiefly  wish  you 
to  peruse  the  Essay  concerning  faith,  towards 
the  close  of  the  book.  I  need  not  beg  you 
to  read  it  carefully,  and  to  read  it  all.  The 
importance  of  the  subject,  its  immediate  con- 
nection with  your  inquiries,  and  the  accuracy 


EEV.   DR.    SCOTT,  175 

of  the  reasoning,  will  render  the  motive  of 
my  request  unnecessary.  I  cannot  style  him 
a  very  elegant  writer;  and  being  a  Scots- 
man, he  abounds  with  the  Scottish  idiom. — 
But  you  will  prefer  truth  to  ornament.  I 
long  to  hear  your  opinion  of  it.  It  seems  to 
me  so  adapted  to  some  things  that  have  pass- 
ed between  us  as  if  written  on  purpose. 

The  Inquiry  concerning  Regeneration  and 
Justification,  which  stands  last  in  the  book, 
I  do  not  desire  or  even  wish  you  to  read;  but 
if  you  should,  and  then  think  that  you  have 
read  a  speculation  more  curious  than  useful, 
I  shall  not  contradict  you.  I  think  it  must 
appear  to  you  in  that  light;  but  it  was  bound 
up  with  the  rest,  and  therefore  could  not  stay 
behind:  but  I  hope  the  Essay  on  Faith  will 
please  you. 

I  take  great  pleasure  in  your  correspond- 
ence, still  more  in  the  thought  of  your  friend- 
ship, which  I  hope  to  cultivate  to  the  utmost, 
and  to  approve  myself  sincerely  and  affec- 
tionately yours. 


LETTER  III. 

August  11,  1775. 
My  Dear  Friend: — Next  week  I  go  to 
London,  where  I  purpose,  if  nothing  un- 
foreseen prevent,  to  stay  a  month.  Many 
things  which  must  necessarily  be  attended 
to  before  my  departure,  abridge  me  of  that 


176  LETTERS   TO   THE 

leisure  which  I  could  wish  to  employ  in  an- 
swering your  last.  However,  I  will  spare 
you  what  I  can.  I  thank  you  for  yours. — 
Your  objections  neither  displease  nor  weary 
me.  While  truth  is  the  object  of  your  in- 
quiry, the  more  freedom  you  use  with  me 
the  better.  Nor  do  they  surprise  me;  for  I 
have  formerly  made  the  like  objections  my- 
self. I  have  stood  upon  your  ground,  and  I 
continue  to  hope  you  will  one  day  stand  upon 
mine.  As  I  have  told  you  more  than  once,  I 
do  not  mean  to  dictate  to  you,  or  to  wish  you 
to  receive  any  thing  upon  my  ipse  dixit;  but, 
in  the  simplicity  of  friendship,  I  will  give  you 
my  thoughts  from  time  to  time  upon  the 
points  you  propose,  and  leave  the  event  to 
the  divine  blessing. 

I  am  glad  you  do  not  account  the  Soci- 
nians  master-builders.  However,  they  es- 
teem themselves  so,  and  are  so  esteemed,  not 
only  by  a  few,  (as  you  think,)  but  by  many. 
I  fear  Socinianism  spreads  rapidly  amongst 
us,  and  bids  fair  to  be  the  prevailing  scheme 
in  this  land,  especially  with  those  who  pro- 
fess to  be  the  thinking  part.  The  term  Ar- 
minian,  as  at  present  applied,  is  very  indis- 
criminate, and  takes  in  a  great  variety  of 
persons  and  sentiments,  amongst  whom,  I 
believe,  there  are  many  who  hold  the  fun- 
damental truths  of  the  Gospel,  and  live  a  life 
of  faith  in  the  Son  of  God.  I  am  far  from 
supposing  that  God  will  guide  every  sincere 
person  exactly  to  adopt  all  my  sentiments. — 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT. 


177 


But  there  are  some  sentiments  which  I  be- 
lieve essential  to  the  very  state  and  charac- 
ter of  a  true  Christian.  And  these  make 
him  a  Christian,  not  merely  by  being  his  ac- 
knowledged sentiments,  but  by  a  certain  pe- 
culiar manner  in  which  he  possesses  them. 
There  is  a  certain  important  change  takes 
place  in  the  heart,  by  the  operation  of  the 
Spirit  of  God,  before  the  soundest  and  most 
orthodox  sentiments  can  have  their  proper 
influence  upon  us.  This  work,  or  change, 
the  Scripture  describes  by  various  names, 
each  of  which  is  designed  to  teach  us,  the 
marvellous  efl'ects  it  produces,  and  the  al- 
mighty power  by  which  it  is  produced.  It 
is  sometimes  called  a  new  birth,  John  iii.  3; 
sometimes  a  new  creature,  or  a  new  creation, 
as  2  Cor.  v.  17;  sometimes  the  causing  light 
to  shine  out  of  darkness,  2  Cor.  iv.  6;  some- 
times the  opening  the  eyes  of  the  bUnd,  Acts 
XX vi.  18;  sometimes  the  raising  the  dead  to 
life,  Ephes.  ii.  5.  Till  a  person  has  expe- 
rienced this  change,  he  will  be  at  a  loss  to 
form  a  right  conception  of  it:  but  it  means, 
not  being  proselyted  to  an  opinion,  but  re- 
ceiving a  principle  of  divine  life  and  light  in 
the  soul.  And  till  this  is  received,  the  things 
of  God,  the  truths  of  the  Gospel  cannot  be 
rightly  discerned  or  understood  by  the  utmost 
powers  of  fallen  man,  who,  with  all  his  wis- 
dom, reason,  and  talents,  is  still  but  what  the 
apostle  calls  the  natural  man,  till  the  power 
of  God  visits  his  heart,  1  Cor.  ii.  14.     This 


178  LETTERS    TO    THE 

work  is  sometimes  wrought  suddenly,  as  in 
the  case  of  Lydia,  Acts  xvi.  14;  at  other 
times  very  gradually.  A  person  who  before 
was  a  stranger  even  to  the  form  of  godliness, 
or  at  best,  content  with  a  mere  form,  finds 
new  thoughts  arising  in  his  mind,  feels  some 
concern  about  his  sins,  some  desire  to  please 
God,  some  suspicions  that  all  is  not  right. — 
He  examines  his  views  of  religion,  hopes  the 
best  of  them,  and  yet  cannot  rest  satisfied 
in  them.  To-day  perhaps,  he  thinks  himself 
fixed;  to-morrow  he  will  be  all  uncertainty. 
He  inquires  of  others;  weighs,  measures, 
considers,  meets  with  sentiments  which  he 
had  not  attended  to;  thinks  them  plausible; 
but  is  presently  shocked  with  objections  or 
supposed  consequences,  which  he  finds  him- 
self unable  to  remove.  As  he  goes  on  in  his 
inquiry,  his  difficulties  increase.  New  doubts 
arise  in  his  mind;  even  the  Scriptures  per- 
plex him,  and  appear  to  assert  contrary 
things.  He  would  sound  the  depths  of  truth 
by  the  plummet  of  his  reason ;  but  he  finds 
his  line  is  too  short.  Yet  even  now  the  man 
is  under  a  guidance,  which  will  at  length 
lead  him  right.  The  importance  of  the  sub- 
ject takes  up  his  thoughts,  and  takes  oif  the 
relish  he  once  had  for  the  things  of  the 
world.  He  reads,  he  prays,  he  strives,  he 
resolves;  sometimes  inward  embarrassments 
and  outward  temptations  bring  him  to  his 
wit's  end.  He  almost  wishes  to  stand  where 
he  is,  and  inquire  no  more;  but  he  cannot 


REV.   DR.    SCOTT.  179 

Stop.  At  length  he  begins  to  feel  the  inward 
depravity,  which  he  had  before  owned  as  an 
opinion;  a  sense  of  sin  and  guilt  cut  him  out 
new  work.  Here  reasoning  will  stand  him  in 
no  stead.  This  is  a  painful  change  of  mind; 
but  it  prepares  the  way  for  a  blessing.  It 
silences  some  objections  better  than  a  thou- 
sand arguments,  it  cuts  the  comb  of  his  own 
wisdom  and  attainments:  it  makes  him  wea- 
ry of  working  for  life,  and  teaches  him  in 
God's  due  time  the  meaning  of  that  text, 
"  To  him  that  worketh  not,  but  believeth  in 
him  who  justifieth  the  ungodly,  his  faith  is 
counted  for  righteousness.''  Then  he  learns 
that  Scriptural  faith  is  a  very  different  thing 
from  a  rational  assent  to  the  Gospel,^that 
it  is  the  immediate  gift  of  God;  (Ephes.  ii.  8 ;) 
the  operation  of  God;  (Col.  ii.  12;)  that  Christ 
is  not  only  the  object,  but  the  author  and 
finisher  of  faith,  (Heb.  xii.  2;)  and  that  faith 
is  not  so  properly  a  part  of  that  obedience 
we  owe  to  God,  as  an  inestimable  benefit  we 
receive  from  him,  for  Christ's  sake,  (Phil.  i. 
29,)  which  is  the  mediumof  our  justification, 
(Rom.  V.  1,)  and  the  principle  by  which  we 
are  united  to  Christ,  as  the  branch  to  the 
vine,  (John  xvii.  21.)  I  am  well  aware  of 
the  pains  taken  to  put  a  different  sense  upon 
these  and  other  seemingly  mysterious  pas- 
sages of  Scripture ;  but  thus  far  we  speak  that 
which  we  know,  and  testify  that  which  we 
have  seen.    I  have  described  a  path  in  which 


180  LETTERS    TO    THE 

I  have  known  many  led,  and  in  which  I  have 
walked  myself. 

The  Gospel,  my  dear  Sir,  is  a  salvation 
appointed  for  those  who  are  ready  to  perish, 
and  is  not  designed  to  put  them  in  a  way  to 
save  themselves  by  their  own  works.  It 
speaks  to  us  as  condemned  already,  and  calls 
upon  us  to  believe  in  a  crucified  Saviour, 
that  we  may  receive  redemption  through  his 
blood,  even  the  forgiveness  of  our  sins.  And 
the  Spirit  of  God,  by  the  Gospel,  first  con- 
vinces us  of  unbelief,  sin,  and  misery;  and 
then,  by  revealing  the  things  of  Jesus  to  our 
minds,  enables  us,  as  helpless  sinners,  to 
come  to  Christ,  to  receive  him,  to  behold  him, 
or  in  other  words,  to  believe  in  him,  and  ex- 
pect pardon,  life,  and  grace  from  him;  re- 
nouncing every  hope  and  aim  in  which  we 
once  rested,  and  accounting  all  things  loss 
and  dung  for  the  excellency  of  the  know- 
ledge of  Christ,  John  vi.  35;  Isa.  xlv.  22,  with 
John  vi.  40;  Col.  ii.  6.  In  some  of  Omicron's 
letters  you  will  find  my  thoughts  more  at 
large  upon  these  subjects  than  I  have  now 
time  to  write  them.  For  a  further  illustra- 
tion, I  refer  you  to  the  MSS.  sent  herewith. 
The  first  part,  written  in  short  hand,  does 
not  so  immediately  concern  our  present  point 
as  the  second,  which  you  may  read  without 
a  key.  It  relates  to  a  matter  of  indisputable 
fact,  concerning  a  person  with  whom,  as  you 
will  perceive,  I  was  well  acquainted.     You 


REV.    DE.    SCOTT.  181 

may  depend  upon  the  truth  of  every  tittle. 
I  entrust  it  to  you  in  the  confidence  of  friend- 
ship, and  beg  that  it  may  not  go  out  of  your 
hands,  and  that,  when  you  have  perused  it, 
you  would  return  it,  sealed  up,  by  a  safe  con- 
veyance, to  my  house.  You  will  see  in  it, 
the  sentiments  of  a  man  of  great  learning, 
sound  reasoning,  an  amiable  and  irreproach- 
able character,  and  how  little  he  accounted 
of  all  these  advantages,  when  the  Lord  was 
pleased  to  enlighten  his  mind. 

Though  we  have  not  exactly  the  same 
view  of  human  depravity,  yet  as  we  both 
agree  to  take  our  measure  of  it  from  the 
word  of  God,  I  trust  we  shall  not  always  dif- 
fer about  it.  Adam  was  created  in  the  image 
of  God,  in  righteousness  and  true  holiness, 
Ephes.  iv.  24.  This  moral  image,  I  believe, 
was  totally  lost  by  sin.  In  that  sense  he  died 
the  day,  the  moment,  he  ate  the  forbidden 
fruit.  God  was  no  longer  his  joy  and  de- 
light; he  was  averse  from  the  thoughts  of  his 
presence,  and  would,  if  possible,  have  hid 
himself  from  him.  His  natural  powers, 
though  doubtless  impaired,  were  not  de- 
stroyed. Man,  by  nature,  is  still  capable  of 
great  things.  His  understanding,  reason, 
memory,  imagination,  &c.  sufficiently  pro- 
claim that  the  hand  that  made  him  is  divine. 
He  is,  as  Milton  says  of  Beelzebub,  majestic, 
though  in  ruins.  He  can  reason,  invent,  and, 
by  application,  attain  a  considerable  know- 
ledge in  natural  things.     The  exertions  of 


182  LETTERS    TO    THE 

human  genius,  as  specified  in  the  characters 
of  some  philosophers,  poets,  orators,  &c.  are 
wonderful.  But  man  cannot  know, love, trust, 
or  serve  his  Maker,  unless  he  be  renewed  in 
the  spirit  of  his  mind.  God  has  preserved 
in  him  likewise  some  feehngs  of  benevolence, 
pity,  some  sense  of  natural  justice  and  truth, 
&c.  without  which  there  could  be  no  society: 
but  these,  I  apprehend,  are  little  more  than 
instincts,  JDy  which  the  world  is  kept  in  some 
small  degree  of  order;  but,  being  under  the 
direction  of  pride  and  self,  do  not  deserve  the 
name  of  virtue  and  goodness;  because  the 
exercise  of  them  does  not  spring  from  a  prin- 
ciple of  love  to  God,  nor  is  directed  to  his 
glory,  or  regulated  by  the  rule  of  his  word, 
till  a  principle  of  grace  is  superadded.  You 
think  I  will  not  say,  "  that  God  judicially,  in 
punishment  of  one  man's  sin,  added  these 
corruptions  to  all  his  posterity."  Let  us 
suppose,  that  the  punishment  annexed  to  eat- 
ing the  forbidden  fruit  had  been  the  loss  of 
Adam's  rational  powers,  and  that  he  should 
be  degraded  to  the  state  and  capacity  of  a 
brute.  In  this  condition,  had  he  begotten 
children,  after  his  fall,  in  his  own  likeness, 
his  nature  being  previously  changed,  they 
must  have  been  of  course  brutes  like  himself; 
for  he  could  not  convey  to  them  those  origi- 
nal powers  which  he  had  lost.  Will  this 
illustrate  my  meaning  ?  Sin  did  not  deprive 
him  of  rationality,  but  of  spirituality.  His 
nature  became  earthly, sensual, yea  devilish; 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  183 

and  this  fallen  nature,  this  carnal  mind, 
which  is  enmity  against  God,  which  is  not 
subject  to  his  law,  neither  indeed  can  be, 
(Rom.  viii.  7,)  we  universally  derive  from 
him.  Look  upon  children:  they  presently 
show  themselves  averse  from  good,  but  ex- 
ceedingly propense  to  evil.  This  they  can 
learn  even  without  a  master;  but  ten  thou- 
sand instructers  and  instructions  cannot  in- 
stil good  into  them,  so  as  to  teach  them  to 
love  their  Creator,  unless  a  divine  power  co- 
operates. Just  as  it  is  with  the  earth,  which 
produces  weeds  spontaneously;  but  if  you 
see  a  cabbage,  or  an  apple-tree,  you  are  sure 
it  was  planted  or  sown  there,  and  did  not 
spring  from  the  soil.  I  know  many  hard 
questions  may  be  started  upon  this  subject; 
but  the  Lord,  in  due  time,  will  clear  his  own 
cause,  and  vindicate  his  own  ways.  I  leave 
all  difficulties  with  him.  It  is  sufficient  for 
me  that  Scripture  asserts,  and  experience 
proves,  that  it  is  thus  in  fact,  Rom.  iii.  9 — 21; 
Job.  xiv.  4.  Thus  we  have  not  only  forfeited 
our  happiness  by  transgression,  but  are,  by 
our  depravity,  incapable  of  it,  and  have  no 
more  desire  or  taste  for  such  a  state  as  the 
Scriptures  describe  Heaven  to  be,  than  a  man 
born  deaf  can  have  for  a  concert  of  music. 
And  therefore  our  Lord  declares,  that  except 
a  man  be  born  again,  he  not  only  shall  not, 
but  cannot,  see  the  kingdom  of  God.  Hence 
a  twofold  necessity  of  a  Saviour — his  blood 
for  the  pardon  of  our  sins,  and  his  life,  spirit, 


184  LETTERS    TO    THE 

and  grace,  to  quicken  our  souls,  and  form  us 
anew  for  himself,  that  we  may  feel  his  love, 
and  show  forth  his  praise. 

St.  Paul,  before  his  conversion,  was  not 
sincere,  in  the  sense  I  hope  you  to  be.  He 
thought  himself  in  the  right,  without  doubt, 
as  many  have  done  when  they  killed  God's 
servants,  John  xvi.  2.  He  was  blindly  and 
obstinately  zealous.  I  think  he  did  not  enter 
into  the  merits  of  the  cause,  or  inquire  into 
facts  with  that  attention  which  sincerity 
would  have  put  him  upon.  You  think  that 
his  sincerity  and  zeal  were  the  very  things 
that  made  him  a  chosen  instrument;  he  him- 
self speaks  of  them  as  the  very  things  that 
made  himpeculiarly  unworthy  of  that  honour, 
(1  Cor.  XV.  9;)  and  he  tells  us,  that  he  was 
set  forth  as  a  pattern  of  the  Lord's  long-suf- 
fering and  mercy,  that  the  very  chief  of  sin- 
ners might  be  encouraged,  1  Tim.  i.  15,  16. 
Had  he  been  sincerely  desirous  to  know 
whether  Jesus  was  the  Messiah,  there  was 
enough  in  his  character,  doctrines,  miracles, 
and  the  prophecies  concerning  him,  to  have 
cleared  up  the  point;  but  he  took  it  for  grant- 
ed he  was  right  in  his  opinion,  and  hurried 
blindly  on,  and  was,  as  he  said  himself,  ex- 
ceedingly mad  against  them.  Such  a  kind 
of  sincerity  is  common  enough.  People  be- 
lieve themselves  right,  and  therefore  treat 
others  with  scorn  or  rage,  appeal  to  the 
Scriptures,  but  first  lay  down  their  own  pre- 
conceived sentiments  for  truths,  and  then 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  185 

examine  what  Scriptures  they  can  find  to 
countenance  them.  Surely  a  person's  think- 
ing himself  right,  will  not  give  a  sanction  to 
all  that  he  does  under  that  persuasion. 

Ignorance  and  obstinacy  are  in  themselves 
sinful,  and  no  plea  of  sincerity  will  exempt 
from  the  danger  of  being  under  their  influ- 
ence, Isa.  xxvii.  11,  Luke  vi.  39.  It  appears 
to  me,  that,  though  you  will  not  follow  any 
man  implicitly,  you  are  desirous  of  discover- 
ing your  mistakes,  supposing  you  are  mis- 
taken in  any  point  of  importance.  You  read 
and  examine  the  word  of  God,  not  to  find 
arms  wherewith  to  defend  your  sentiments  at 
all  events,  but  to  know  whether  they  are  de- 
fensible or  not.  You  pray  for  God's  light 
and  teaching,  and  in  this  search  you  are  wil- 
ling to  risk  what  men  are  commonly  much 
afraid  of  hazarding — character,  interest,  pre- 
ferment, favour,  &c.  A  sincerity  of  this  kind 
I  too  seldom  meet  with:  when  I  do,  I  ac- 
count it  a  token  for  good,  and  am  ready  to 
say,  "  No  man  can  do  this,  except  God  be 
with  him."  However,  sincerity  is  not  con- 
version; but  I  believe  it  is  always  a  fore- 
runner of  it. 

I  would  not  be  uncharitable  and  censori- 
ous, hasty  and  peremptory  in  judging  my 
fellow-creatures.  But  if  I  acknowledge  the 
word  of  God,  I  cannot  avoid  forming  ray 
judgment  upon  it.  It  is  true,  I  cannot  look 
into  people's  hearts;  but  hearts  and  princi- 
ples are  delineated  to  my  hand  in  the  Scrip- 
16 


186  LETTERS    TO    THE 

tiires.  I  read,  that  no  murderer  has  eternal 
life  in  him:  I  read  likewise,  "if  any  man 
love  not  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  let  him  be 
anathema;"  and  therefore  I  conclude,  that 
there  are  speculative  errors,  as  heinous  in 
their  guilt,  as  destructive  in  their  effects,  as 
murder;  and  that  the  most  moral,  regular 
man,  as  to  social  life,  if  he  loves  not  the  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  is  in  the  sight  of  God,  the  judge 
of  all,  as  displeasing  as  a  murderer.  It  has 
pleased  God  for  the  peace  and  support  of 
society,  to  put  a  black  mark  upon  those  sins 
which  affect  the  peace  and  welfare  of  our 
neighbour,  such  as  adultery  and  murder. 
But  undoubtedly  the  sins  committed  imme- 
diately against  himself  must  be  more  heinous 
than  any  which  offend  our  fellow-creatures. 
The  second  commandment,  (Matt.  xxii.  39,) 
is  like  the  first;  but  it  depends  upon  it,  and 
is  therefore  inferior  to  it.  Men  ordinarily 
judge  otherwise.  To  live  regardless  of  God 
and  the  gospel  is  looked  upon  as  a  mere 
pecadillo  in  comparison  with  offences  against 
society.  But  sooner  or  later  it  will  appear 
otherwise  to  all.  A  parcel  of  robbers  may 
pique  themselves  upon  the  justice,  honour, 
and  truth  they  observe  towards  one  another; 
but,  because  they  set  up  a  petty  interest, 
which  is  inconsistent  with  the  public  good, 
they  are  deservedly  accounted  villains,  and 
treated  as  such,  notwithstanding  their  petty 
morality  among  themselves.  Now  such  a 
company  of  robbers  bears  a  much  greater 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  187 

proportion  to  a  whole  nation,  than  a  nation, 
or  all  the  nations  of  the  earth,  bears  to  the 
great  God.  Our  dependence  upon  him  is  ab- 
solute, our  obligations  to  him  infinite.  In 
vain  shall  men  plead  their  moral  discharge 
of  relative  duties  to  each  other,  if  they  fail 
in  the  unspeakably  greater  relation  under 
which  they  stand  to  God;  and  therefore, 
when  I  see  people  living  without  God  in  the 
world,  as  all  do  till  they  are  converted,  I 
cannot  but  judge  them  in  a  dangerous  state: 
— not  because  I  take  pleasure  in  censuring, 
or  think  myself  authorised  to  pass  sentence 
upon  my  fellow  creatures,  but  because  the 
Scriptures  decide  expressly  on  the  case,  and 
I  am  bound  to  take  my  sentiments  from 
thence. 

The  jailor  was  certainly  a  Christian  when 
baptized,  as  you  observe.  He  trembled;  he 
cried  out,  "What  must  I  do  to  be  saved.'*" 
Paul  did  not  bid  him  amend  his  Hfe,  but  be- 
lieve in  the  Lord  Jesus.  He  believed  and  re- 
joiced. But  the  Lord  blessed  the  apostle's 
words,  to  produce  in  him  that  saving  faith 
which  filled  him  with  joy  and  peace.  It  was, 
as  I  observed  before,  something  more  than 
an  assent  to  the  proposition,  that  Jesus  is  the 
Christ;  a  resting  in  him  for  forgiveness  and 
acceptance,  and  a  cleaving  to  him  in  love. 
No  other  faith  will  purify  the  heart,  work  by 
love,  and  overcome  the  world. 

I  need  not  have  pleaded  want  of  leisure 
as  an  excuse  for  a  short  letter,  for  I  have 


188  LETTERS   TO   THE 

written  a  long  one.  I  feel  myself  much  in- 
terested in  your  concerns;  and  your  unex- 
pected frank  application  to  me  (though  you 
well  know  the  light  in  which  I  appear  to 
some  people)  I  consider  as  a  providential 
call  which  binds  nie  to  your  service.  I  hope 
our  correspondence  will  be  productive  of 
happy  effects,  and  that  we  shall  both  one 
day  rejoice  in  it. — I  am,  &c. 


LETTER  IV. 

September  6,  1775. 
My  dear  Friend, — I  begin  to  fear  I  shall 
fall  under  a  suspicion  of  unkindness  and  for- 
getfulness  towards  you, — and  therefore  lam 
willing  to  write  a  line  by  way  of  prevention, 
though  I  have  not  leisure  to  attempt  any 
thing  like  an  answer  t<o  the  letter  you  put 
into  my  hand  the  evening  before  I  left  0 — ; 
I  must  therefore  content  myself  with  a  tender 
of  affection  and  respect,  and  an  inquiry  after 
your  welfare. 

Your  letter  will  give  me  an  opportunity  of 
saying  something  further  when  time  shall  ad- 
mit; but  an  endeavour  to  answer  all  the  ob- 
jections that  may  be  started  between  us,  in 
away  of  reasoning,  would  require  a  volume, 
and  would  likewise  interfere  with  the  lead- 
ing principle  upon  which  my  hope  of  giving 
you  satisfaction  in  due  time  is  grounded. — 
You  seem  to  expect  that  /  should  remove 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  189 

your  difficulties;  but  it  is  my  part  only  to 
throw  in  a  word  occasionally,  as  a  witness 
of  what  the  Lord  has  been  pleased  to  teach 
me  from  the  Scriptures,  and  to  wait  for  the 
rest,  till  he  (who  alone  is  able)  shall  be  pleas- 
ed to  communicate  the  same  views  to  you: 
For  till  we  see  and  judge  by  the  same  medi- 
um, and  are  agreed  in  the  fundamental  point, 
that  faith  is  not  the  effect  of  reasoning,  but  a 
special  gift  of  God,  which  he  bestows  when 
and  to  whom  he  pleases,  it  will  not  be  possi- 
ble for  me  to  convince  you  by  dint  of  argu- 
ment.    I  believe,  as  I  have  observed  before, 
that  he  has  already  given  you  a  desire  to 
know  his  v/ill;  and  therefore  I  trust  he  will 
not  disappoint  your  search.     At  present  I 
think  you  want  one  thing,  which  it  is  not  in 
my  power  to  impart;  I  mean  such  a  sense  of 
the  depravity  of  human  nature,  and  the  state 
of  all  mankind  considered  as  sinners,  as  may 
make  you  feel  the  utter  impossibility  of  at- 
taining to  the  peace  and  hope  of  the  Gospel 
in  any  other  way,  than  by  renouncing  all 
hope  of  succeeding  by  any  endeavours  of 
your  own,  further  than  by  humbly  waiting 
at  the  throne  of  grace,  for  power  to  cast  your- 
self, without  terms  and  conditions,  upon  him 
who  is  able  to  save  to  the  uttermost.     We 
must  feel  ourselves  sick,  before  we  can  duly 
prize  the  great  physician,  and  feel  a  sentence 
of  death  in  ourselves,  before  we  can  effectu- 
ally trust  in  God  who  raiseth  the  dead. 
I  have  not  brought  your  sermons  with  me; 


190  LETTERS    TO    THE 

for  I  thought  I  should  not  have  time  to  read 
them  attentively,  while  in  this  hurrying  place. 
I  purpose  to  consider  them  with  care,  and  to 
give  you  my  thoughts  with  frankness,  when 
I  return.     However,  if  they  are  upon  the 
plan  intimated  in  your  letter,  I  will  venture 
to  say  one  thing  beforehand,  that  they  will 
not  answer  your  desired  end.    1  am  persuad- 
ed you  wish  to  be  useful — to  reclaim  sinners 
from  their  evil  ways,  to  inspire  them  with  a 
love  to  God;  and  a  sincere  aim  to  walk  in 
obedience  to  his  will.     May  I  not  venture  to 
appeal  to  yourself,  that  you  meet  with  little 
success;  that  the  people  to  whom  you  preach, 
though  they  perhaps  give  you  a  patient  hear- 
ing, yet  remain  as  they  were,  unchanged  and 
unholy?  It  must  be  so; — there  is  but  one  sort 
of  preaching  which  God  blesses  to  these  pur- 
poses— that  which  makes  all  the  world  guilty 
before  God,  and  sets  forth  Jesus  Christ,  (as 
the  brazen  serpent  was  proposed  by  Moses,) 
that  guilty  and  condemned  sinners,  by  look- 
ing to  him,  and  believing  on  his  name,  may 
be  healed  and  saved.      The  most  pressing 
exhortations  to  repentance  and  amendment 
of  life,  unless  they  are  enforced  in  a  certain 
way,  which  only  God  can  teach,  will  leave 
our  hearers  much  as  they  find  them.    When 
we  meet,  or  when  I  have  leisure  to  write 
from   home,  I   will   trouble  you   with   my 
thoughts  more  at  large.     Till  then,  permit 
me  to  assure  you  of  my  sincere  regard  and 
best  wishes,  and  that  I  am,  &c. 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT. 


LETTER  V. 


191 


October  21,  1775. 
My  dear  Friend, — The  calls  and  engage- 
ments which  I  told  you  engrossed  and  anti- 
cipated my  time  when  I  wrote  last,  have 
continued  without  any  intermission  hitherto, 
and  I  am  still  far  behind-hand  with  my  busi- 
ness. I  am  willing  to  hope,  that  the  case 
has  been  much  the  same  with  you,  and  that 
want  of  leisure  has  been  the  only  cause  of 
my  not  having  been  pleasured  with  so  much 
as  a  note  from  you  since  my  return  from 
London. 

I  am  loath,  for  my  own  sake,  to  charge 
your  silence  to  any  unwillingness  of  continu- 
ing that  intercourse  which  I  have  been,  and 
still  find  myself,  desirous  to  improve  on  my 
part.  For  though  we  are  not  agreed  in  our 
views;  yet,  while  our  preliminary  agreement 
to  allow  mutual  freedom,  and  to  exercise  mu- 
tual candour,  in  expressing  our  sentiments, 
subsists,  we  may,  and  I  hope  shall  be  glad  to 
hear  from  each  other.  It  may  seem  to  inti- 
mate I  have  a  better  opinion  of  myself  than 
of  you,  that  while  I  seem  confident  your 
freedom  will  not  offend  me,  I  feel  now  and 
then  a  fear,  lest  mine  should  prove  displeas- 
ing to  you.  But  friendship  is  a  little  suspi- 
cious when  exercised  with  long  silence,  and 


192  LETTERS    TO   THE 

a  plain  declaration  of  my  sentiments  has  more 
than  once  put  amiable  and  respectable  per- 
sons to  the  full  trial  of  their  patience. 

I  now  return  your  sermons:  I  thank  you 
for  the  perusal:  I  see  much  in  them  that  I 
approve,  and  nothing  in  them  but  what  I  for- 
merly espoused.  But  in  a  course  of  years,  a 
considerable  alteration  has  taken  place  in  my 
judgment  and  experience.  I  hope,  yea,  I 
may  boldly  say,  I  am  sure,  not  for  the  worse. 
Then  I  was  seeking,  and  now  through  mercy 
I  have  found,  the  pearl  of  great  price.  It  is 
both  the  prayer  and  the  hope  of  my  heart, 
that  a  day  is  coming  when  you  shall  make 
the  same  acknowledgment.  From  your 
Letters  and  Sermons,  I  am  encouraged  to 
address  you  in  our  Lord's  words,  ^'  Thou  art 
not  far  from  the  kingdom  of  God.''  1  am 
persuaded  the  views  you  have  received,  will 
not  suffer  you  to  remain  where  you  are. — 
But  fidelity  obliges  me  (o  add,  "Yet  one 
thing  thou  lackest."  "That  one  thing"! 
trust  the  Lord  will  both  show  you,  and  be- 
stow upon  you,  in  his  due  time.  You  speak 
somewhat  of  "  atoning  for  disobedience  by 
repentance."  Ah!  my  dear  Sir,  when  we 
are  brought  to  estimate  our  disobedience,  by 
comparing  it  with  such  a  sense  of  the  ma- 
jesty, holiness,  and  authority  of  God,  and  the 
spirituality,  extent,  and  sanction  of  his  holy 
law,  as  he,  and  he  only,  can  impress  upon 
the  heart  of  a  sinner,  we  shall  be  convinced 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT. 


193 


that  nothing  but  the  blood  of  the  Son  of  God 
can  atone  for  the  smallest  instance  of  disobe- 
dience. 

I  intimated  in  my  letter  from  London,  one 
defect  of  your  scheme,  which  will  probably 
be  the  first  to  engage  your  notice.  I  am  sure 
you  have  a  desire  to  be  useful  to  the  souls  of 
men,  to  be  an  instrument  of  reclaiming  them 
from  that  course  of  open  wickedness,  or  life- 
less formality,  in  which  you  see  them  en- 
slaved: and,  in  a  word,  to  prevail  with  them 
to  live  soberly,  righteously  and  godly,  ac- 
cording to  the  just  and  comprehensive  sense 
you  have  given  of  those  words,  in  your  Ser- 
mon on  Tit.  ii.  11,  12.  Now,  inward  expe- 
rience, and  a  pretty  extensive  observation  of 
what  passes  abroad,  have  so  perfectly  con- 
vinced me  there  is  but  one  mode  of  preach- 
ing which  the  Holy  Spirit  owns  to  the  pro- 
ducing of  these  effects,  that  I  am  not  afraid  to 
pronounce  confidently,  you  will  not  have  the 
desires  of  your  heart  gratified  upon  your 
present  plan:  the  people  will  give  you  a  hear- 
ing, and  remain  just  as  they  are,  till  the  Lord 
leads  you  to  speak  to  them  as  criminals  con- 
demned already,  and  whose  first  essential 
step  it  is,  to  seek  forgiveness  by  the  blood  of 
Jesus,  and  a  change  of  heart  and  state  by  his 
grace,  before  they  can  bring  forth  any  fruit 
acceptable  to  God. 

As  I  have  little  time  for  writing,  and  little 
hope  of  succeeding  in  a  way  of  argumenta- 
tion, I  have  substituted,  instead  of  a  long 
17 


194  LETTERS    TO    THE 

letter,  the  heads  of  some  sermons  I  preached 
nine  or  ten  years  ago,  on  our  Lord's  dis- 
course with  Nicodemus.  However,  when  I 
have  heard  that  you  are  well,  and  that  you 
are  still  disposed  to  correspond  with  me,  I 
shall  be  ready  to  give  a  more  particular  an- 
swer to  the  subjects  you  pointed  out  to  me  in 
the  letter  you  favoured  me  with  the  day  be- 
fore I  left  London.  I  pray  God  to  bless  you 
in  all  your  ways,  and  beg  you  to  believe,  that 
I  am,  with  sincerity,  &c. 


LETTER  YI. 

October  28. 

My  dear  Friend, — It  never  entered  my 
pericranium,  that  you  expected  I  should  fully 
and  directly  answer  your  letter  while  I  was 
in  London;  and  yet  you  reasonably  might, 
as  you  knew  nothing  of  my  engagements: 
but  indeed  it  was  impracticable ;  I  could  only 
send  you  a  hasty  line,  as  a  token  that  I  re- 
membered you.  I  informed  you,  when  I 
returned,  that  I  was  just  going  out  again. 
Since  I  came  home  the  second  time,  I  have 
been  engrossed  by  things  that  would  adm.it 
of  no  delay;  and,  at  length,  not  having  so 
much  as  a  note  from  you,  I  thought  I  would 
wait  till  I  heard  further.  But,  from  first  to 
last  it  was  my  intention,  and  I  think,  my 
promise,  to  answer  in  the  manner  you  pro- 
posed as  soon  as  I  could.  And  even  now  I 
must  beg  a  little  longer  time.     Believe  me, 


EEV.    DR.    SCOTT.  195 

that  as  the  wise  and  good  providence  of  God 
brought  us  together,  without  any  expecta- 
tion of  mine,  I  will  do  all  in  my  power  to 
preserve  the  connexion,  and  particularly  by 
giving  my  thoughts  on  such  questions  as 
you  propose.  And  though  to  consider  your 
questions  in  the  manner  you  wish,  and  to 
point  out  the  agreement  of  detached  texts 
(as  they  occur)  with  my  views,  seems,  in 
prospect,  to  require  a  volume  rather  than  a 
sheet,  yet  I  am  not  discouraged;  only  I  beg 
you  to  make  allowance  for  other  things,  and 
to  be  assured,  that  before  I  had  the  pleasure 
of  corresponding  with  you,  I  had  very  little 
spare  time.  Expect  then  the  best  satisfac- 
tion I  am  able  to  give  you,  as  soon  as  possi- 
ble. To  prepare  the  way,  I  will  try  hard  for 
a  little  leisure,  to  give  you  a  few  thoughts 
upon  yours,  which  came  last  night. 

You  complain  that  I  have  hitherto  disap- 
pointed your  expectations.  If  you  have  pre- 
served my  first  papers,  I  believe  you  will 
find,  that  I  apprized  you  this  might  probably 
be  the  event,  and  certainly  must,  unless  it 
should  please  God  to  make  what  I  should 
write  a  means  of  giving  you  the  same  views 
with  myself.  I  only  proposed,  as  a  witness, 
to  bear  a  simple  testimony  to  what  I  have 
seen  and  known.  So  far  as  you  believe  me 
sincere  and  unwilling  to  impose  upon  you,  I 
thought  you  might  admit,  there  was  perhaps 
some  weight  in  what  I  advanced,  though  for 
the  present,  you  could  not  see  things  in  the 


196  LETTERS    TO    THE 

same  light.  And  if  you  allowed  a  possibility, 
that  my  changing  the  sentiments  which  I 
once  held  in  common  with  yourself,  might 
be  upon  sufficient  grounds,  you  would,  as  I 
trust  you  do,  wait  upon  the  great  Teacher 
for  his  instruction;  otherwise  I  did  not  ex- 
pect to  convince  you,  nor  do  I  yet,  only  I  am 
glad  to  put  myself  in  his  hands  as  an  instru- 
ment. 

You  quite  misunderstood  what  I  spoke  of 
the  light  and  influence  of  the  Spirit  of  God. 
He  reveals  to  me  no  new  truths,  but  has 
only  shown  me  the  meaning  of  his  own  writ- 
ten word;  nor  is  this  light  a  particular  reve- 
lation, it  is  common  to  all  who  are  born 
again.  And  thus,  though  you  and  I  cannot 
fully  agree  about  it,  yet  I  almost  daily  meet 
with  persons  from  the  east,  west,  north,  and 
south,  whom,  though  I  never  saw  them  be- 
fore, 1  find  we  understand  each  other  at 
once.  This  (as  you  bid  me  be  explicit)  is 
the  one  thing  which  1  think  you  at  present 
lack.  And  I  limited  my  expression,  to  one 
thing,  because  it  is  our  Lord's  expression, 
and  because  that  one  thing  includes  many. 
As  I  said  before,!  cannot  give  it  you;  but 
the  Lord  can:  and  from  the  desire  he  has 
raised  in  your  heart,  I  have  a  warm  hope 
that  he  will.  You  place  the  whole  stress  of 
your  inquiries  upon  reason:  I  am  far  from 
discarding  reason,  when  it  is  enlightened 
and  sanctified;  but  spiritual  things  must  be 
spiritually  discerned,  and  can  be  received 


REV.     DR.     SCOTT.  197 

and  discerned  no  other  way;  for  to  our  natu- 
ral reason  they  are  foohshness,  1  Cor.  ii.  14, 
15;  Matth.  xi.  25.  This  certain  something 
I  can  no  more  describe  to  those  who  have 
not  experienced  it,  than  I  could  describe  the 
taste  of  a  pine-apple  to  a  person  who  had 
never  seen  one.  But  Scriptural  proofs 
might  be  adduced  in  abundance,  yet  not  so 
as  to  give  a  solid  conviction  of  it,  till  we 
actually  experience  it.  Thus  it  was  with  my 
friend,  whose  case  I  sent  you.  When  God 
gave  him  the  key,  as  he  expressed  it,  then 
the  Scriptures  were  unlocked.  His  wishing 
himself  a  deist  sometime  before,  was  not 
from  any  libertine  exceptions  he  made  to  the 
precepts  of  the  Gospel,  but  from  the  perplex- 
ing embarrassments  he  had  found,  by  endea- 
vouring to  understand  the  doctrines  by  dint 
of  reason,  though  reason  in  him  was  as  strong 
and  penetrating  as  in  most  men  I  ever  met 
with.  Upon  your  present  plan,  how  can  I 
hope  to  satisfy  you,  though  even  St.  Paul 
asserts  it,  that  the  carnal  mind  is  enmity 
against  God?  You  will  readily  agree  with 
me  to  the  proposition  as  it  stands  in  St.  Paul's 
words;  but  I  think  you  will  not  so  readily 
assent  to  what  I  have  no  more  doubt  than  of 
my  own  existence,  is  the  sense  of  it:  That  the 
heart  of  man,  of  any  man,  every  man,  how- 
ever apparently  amiable  in  his  outward  con- 
duct, however  benevolent  to  his  fellow  crea- 
tures, however  abundant  and  zealous  in  his 
devotions,  is  by  nature  enmity  against  God; 


198  LETTERS    TO    THE 

not  indeed  against  the  idea  he  himself  forms 
of  God,  but  against  the  character  which  God 
has  revealed  of  himself  in  the  Scriptures. 
Man  is  an  enemy  to  the  justice,  sovereignty, 
and  law  of  God,  and  to  the  alone  method  of 
salvation  he  has  appointed  in  the  Gospel  by 
faith  only:  by  such  a  faith,  as  it  is  no  more 
in  his  power  to  contribute  to  the  production 
of  in  himself,  than  he  can  contribute  to 
raising  the  dead,  or  making  a  world.  What- 
ever is  of  the  flesh  is  flesh,  and  can  rise 
no  higher  than  its  principles;  but  the  Lord 
could  convince  you  of  this  by  a  glance  of 
thought. 

But  I  must  break  ofl",  for  want  both  of  room 
and  time.  Let  me  remind  you  of  our  agree- 
ment, to  use  and  to  allow  the  greatest  free- 
dom, and  not  to  be  offended  with  what  is 
meant  well  on  either  side.  Something  in 
your  last  letter  made  me  apprehensive  you 
were  a  little  displeased  with  me.  He  that 
knows  my  heart,  knows  that  I  wish  you  well 
as  my  own  soul. 

The  expression,  of  atoning  for  disobe- 
dience by  repentance,  was  in  one  of  your 
sermons.  I  considered  it  as  unguarded;  but 
on  my  view  of  things,  it  were  in  a  manner 
impossible  that  I  could  use  that  expression, 
though,  perhaps,  too  often  unguarded  my- 
self.— I  am,  &c. 


EEV.    DR.    SCOTT.  199 


LETTER  VII. 


November  17,  1775. 
My  dear  Friend: — At  length  I  take  np 
your  favour  of  August  14,  with  design  to 
give  it  a  more  explicit  answer.  My  delay- 
ing hitherto  has  been  unavoidable;  I  am 
sorry  to  have  your  patience  put  to  so  long  a 
trial,  and  should  be  more  sorry,  but  that  I 
consider,  that  in  my  former  papers,  sermons, 
Omicron's  letters,  &c.  you  already  possess 
the  whole  (in  substance)  of  what  I  have  to 
offer.  My  present  part  is  but  actum  agere, 
to  repeat  what  1  have  elsewhere  expressed, 
only  with  some  variety  and  enlargement. 
You  yourself  will  state  the  situation  of  our 
debate,  when  you  say,  "Nor  in  truth  do  you 
offer  any  arguments  to  convince  me,  nor 
does  it  seem  very  consistent  on  your  grounds 
so  to  do.  And  if  this  important  change  is  to 
be  brought  about  by  the  intervenii.on  of  some 
extraordinary  impulse  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and 
cannot  be  brought  about  without  it;  I  do  not 
see  any  thing  further  that  I  have  to  do,  than 
to  keep  my  mind  as  much  unbiassed  as  I  can, 
and  to  wait  and  pray  for  it."  I  think  my 
letter  from  London  was  to  the  purport  of 
these  your  own  words,  though  you  seemed 
dissatisfied  with  it.  While  we  see  through 
a  different  medium,  it  will  be  easy  for  you 
to  answer  every  text  I  might  adduce  in  sup- 
port of  my  sentiments,  as  you  have  those  I 


200  LETTERS    TO    THE 

have  already  brought,  "That you  understand 
them  otherwise."  In  order  to  support  my 
sense  of  one  text,  I  should  perhaps  quote  and 
argue  from  twenty  more,  and  still  "you 
would  understand  them  otherwise."  The 
life  of  man,  yea  of  Methuselah,  would  hardly 
suffice  to  prove,  object,  and  defend,  all  that 
might  be  alleged  on  both  sides  in  this  way; 
and  at  last  we  should  leave  off  as  we  began, 
more  fully  confirmed  in  our  own  opinions, 
unless  the  Lord,  by  his  Holy  Spirit,  should 
be  pleased  to  show  the  person  who  main- 
tained the  wrong  side  of  the  argument  where 
his  mistake  lay.  However,  I  mean  to  take 
some  notice  of  your  queries  as  they  offer 
themselves. 

The  first  which  occurs  is  complicated. 
The  substance  I  think  is,  Whether  such  be- 
lief and  aims  as  you  possess,  will  stand  you 
in  no  stead  unless  you  likewise  believe  grace 
irresistible,  predestination  absolute,  faith  in 
supernatural  impulses,  &c.?  You  may  have 
observed,  I  have  several  times  waived  speak- 
ing about  predestination  or  election,  not  that 
I  am  ashamed  of  the  doctrine;  because,  if  it 
be  indeed  absurd,  shocking,  and  unjust,  the 
blame  will  not  deservedly  fall  upon  me,  for 
I  did  not  invent  it,  but  upon  the  Scriptures, 
where  I  am  sure  it  is  laid  down  in  as  plain 
terms,  as  that  God  created  the  heavens  and 
the  earth.  I  own  I  cannot  but  wonder,  that 
persons  professing  any  reverence  for  the 
Bible  should  so  openly  and  strongly  declare 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  201 

their  abhorrence  of  what  the  Bible  so  ex- 
pressly teaches;  namely,  that  there  is  a  dis- 
crimination of  persons  by  the  grace  and  good 
pleasure  of  God,  where  by  nature  there  is 
no  difference;  and  that  all  things  respecting 
the  salvation  of  these  persons  is  infallibly  se- 
cured by  a  divine  predestination. 

I  do  not  offer  this  as  a  rational  doctrine 
though  it  be  highly  so  to  me;  but  it  is  Scrip- 
tural, or  else  the  Scriptures  are  a  mere  nose 
of  wax,  and  without  a  determinate  meaning. 
What  ingenuity  is  needful  to  interpret  many 
passages  in  a  sense  more  favourable  to  our 
natural  prejudices  against  God's  sovereignty ! 
Matt.  xi.  25,  26,  and  xiii.  10 — 17;  Mark  xiii. 
20.22;  John  xvii.passim;  John  x.26;  Rom. 
viii.  28 — 30,  and  ix.  13 — 24,  and  xi.  7;  Eph. 
i.  4,  5;  1  Pet.  i.  2.  Were  I  fond  of  dis- 
puting, as  I  am  not,  I  think  I  could  put  a 
close  reasoner  hard  to  it,  to  maintain  the 
truth  of  Scripture-prophecies,  or  the  belief 
of  a  particular  providence,  unless  he  would 
admit  a  divine  predestination  of  causes  and 
events  as  the  grounds  of  his  arguments.  How- 
ever, as  I  said,  I  have  chosen  to  waive  the 
point;  because,  however  true  and  necessary 
in  itself,  the  knowledge  and  comprehension 
of  it  is  not  necessary  to  the  being  of  a  true 
Christian,  though  I  can  hardly  conceive  he 
can  be  an  established  consistent  believer 
without  it.  This  doctrine  is  not  the  turning 
point  between  you  and  me;  the  nature  of 
justification,  and  the  method  of  a  sinner's  ac- 


202  LETTERS    TO    THE 

ceptance  with  God,  are  of  much  more  imme- 
diate importance;  and  therefore,  if  I  am  to 
speak  plainly,  I  must  say,  that  I  look  upon 
your  present  sentiments,  attainments,  and 
advances,  as  you  describe  them,  to  constitute 
that  kind  of  gain  the  apostle  speaks  of,  and 
concerning  which  I  hope  you  will  one  day 
be  of  his  mind,  and  be  glad  to  account  it  all 
loss,  that  you  may  win  Christ,  and  be  found 
in  him, "  not  having  your  own  righteousness, 
which  is  of  the  law,  but  the  righteousness 
which  is  of  God  by  faith,"  Phil.  iii.  4.  7—10. 
For,  as  you  tell  me,  you  never  remember  a 
time  when  you  were  not  conscious  before 
God  of  great  unworthiness,  and  intervals  of 
earnest  endeavours  to  serve  him,  though  not 
with  the  same  success,  yet  something  in  the 
same  way,  as  at  present;  this  is  but  saying, 
in  other  words,  you  never  remember  a  time 
when  old  things  passed  away,  and  all  things 
became  new;  and  yet  the  apostle  insists 
much  upon  this,  2  Cor.  iv.  6,  and  v.  17.  The 
convictions  of  natural  conscience,  and  those 
which  are  wrought  in  the  heart  by  the  Holy 
Spirit,  are  different,  not  only  in  degree,  but 
in  kind ;  the  light  of  a  glow-worm  and  of  the 
sun  do  not  more  essentially  differ.  The  for- 
mer are  partial  and  superficial,  leave  us  in 
possession  of  a  supposed  power  of  our  own, 
are  pacified  by  some  appearances  of  an  out- 
ward change,  and  make  us  no  farther  sensi- 
ble of  the  necessity  of  a  Saviour,  than  to 
make  our  doings  and  duties  (if  I  may  so  ex- 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  203 

press  myself)  full  weight,  which  perhaps 
might  otherwise  be  a  little  deficient  when 
brought  to  the  balance  of  the  sanctuary. 
But  truly  spiritual  convictions  give  us  far 
other  views  of  sin;  they  lead  us  to  a  deep 
and  awful  consideration  of  the  root  of  our 
total  absolute  depravity,  and  our  utter  apos- 
tasy from  God  by  which  we  are  as  incapable 
of  doing  good,  as  a  dead  man  is  of  perform- 
ing the  functions  of  life.  They  lead  us  to  the 
rule  and  standard,  the  strict,  holy,  inflexible 
law  of  God,  which  reaches  to  the  thoughts 
and  intents  of  the  heart;  requires  perfect, 
universal,  persevering  obedience ;  denounces 
a  curse  upon  every  failure,  (Gal.  iii.  10,)  and 
affords  neither  place  nor  strength  for  repent- 
ance. Thus  they  sweep  away  every  hope 
and  refuge  we  had  before,  and  fix  upon  us 
a  sense  of  guilt  and  condemnation,  from 
which  there  is  no  relief,  till  we  can  look  to 
Jesus,  as  the  wounded  Israelites  did  to  the 
brazen  serpent;  which  was  not  to  give  effi- 
cacy to  medicines,  and  plasters  of  their  own 
appHcation,  but  to  heal  them  completely  of 
itself  by  looking  at  it.  John  iii.  14, 15,  and 
vi.  40;  Isaiah  xhii.  22. 

You  wish  me  to  explain  my  distinction 
between  faith  and  rational  assent ;  and  though 
I  know  no  two  things  in  the  world  more 
clearly  distinct  in  themselves,  or  more  ex- 
pressly distinguished  in  Scripture,  yet  I  fear 
I  may  not  easily  make  it  appear  to  you.  You 
allow  faith,  in  your  sense,  to  be  the  gift  of 


204  LETTERS   TO    THE 

God;  but  in  my  sense,  it  is  likewise  wrought 
by  the  operation  of  God,  Col.  ii.  12,  "  Buried 
with  him  in  baptism,  wherein  also  ye  are 
risen  with  him  through  the  faith  of  the  ope- 
ration of  God,  who  hath  raised  him  from  the 
dead."  Ephes.  i.  19,  "And  what  is  the  ex- 
ceeding greatness  of  his  power  to  us-ward 
who  believe,  according  to  the  working  of  his 
mighty  power;"  the  same  energy  of  the 
power  of  his  strength,  by  which  the  dead 
body  of  Jesus  was  raised  from  the  dead.  Can 
these  strong  expressions  intend  no  more  than 
a  rational  assent,  such  as  we  give  to  a  pro- 
position in  Euclid?  I  believe  fallen  reason 
is,  of  itself,  utterly  incapable  even  of  assent- 
ing to  the  great  truths  of  revelation;  it  may 
assent  to  the  terms  in  which  they  are  pro- 
posed, but  it  must  put  its  own  interpretation 
upon  them,  or  it  would  despise  them.  The 
natural  man  can  neither  receive  nor  discern 
the  things  of  God;  and  if  any  one  would  be 
wise,  the  apostle's  first  advice  to  him  is,  Let 
him  become  a  fool,  that  he  may  be  wise;  for 
the  wisdom  of  the  world  is  foolishness  with 
God. 

Indeed  when  the  heart  is  changed,  and  the 
mind  enlightened,  then  reason  is  sanctified, 
and  if  I  may  so  say,  baptized,  renounces  its 
curious  disquisitions,  and  is  content  humbly 
to  tread  in  the  path  of  revelation.  This  is 
one  difference;  assent  may  be  the  act  of  our 
natural  reason;  faith  is  the  effect  of  immedi- 
ate almighty  power.    Another  difference  is, 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  205 

faith  is  always  efficacious,  "it  worketh  by- 
love;''  whereas  assent  is  often  given  where 
it  has  little  or  no  influence  upon  the  conduct. 
Thus,  for  instance,  every  one  will  assent  to 
this  truth,  All  men  are  mortal.  Yet  the  great- 
est part  of  mankind,  though  they  readily  as- 
sent to  the  proposition,  and  it  would  be  highly 
irrational  to  do  otherwise,  live  as  they  might 
do  if  the  reverse  were  true.  But  they  who 
have  divine  faith  feel,  as  well  as  say,  they  are 
pilgrims  and  sojourners  upon  earth.  Again, 
faith  gives  peace  of  conscience,  access  to  God, 
and  a  sure  evidence  and  subsistence  of  things 
not  seen  (Rom.  v.  1,2;  Heb.  xi.  1;)  whereas, 
a  calm  dispassionate  reasoner  may  be  com- 
pelled to  assent  to  the  external  arguments  in 
fkvour  of  Christianity,  and  yet  remain  a  total 
stranger  to  that  communion  with  God,  that 
spirit  of  adoption,  that  foretaste  of  glory, 
which  is  the  privilege  and  portion  of  believ- 
ers. So  hkewise  faith  overcomes  the  world, 
which  rational  assent  will  not  do.  Witness 
the  lives  and  tempers  of  thousands,  who  yet 
would  be  affronted,  if  their  assent  to  the  Gos- 
pel should  be  questioned.  To  sum  up  all  in 
a  word,  "He  that  believes  shall  be  saved." 
But  surely  many  who  give  a  rational  assent 
to  the  Gospel  live  and  die  in  those  sins  which 
exclude  from  the  kingdom  of  God,  Gal.  v. 
19 — 21.  Faith  is  the  effect  of  a  principle  of 
new  life  implanted  in  the  soul,  that  was  be- 
fore dead  in  trespasses  and  sins;  and  it  quali- 
fies not  only  for  obeying  the  Saviour's  pre- 


206  LETTERS   TO    THE 

cepts,  but  chiefly  and  primarily  for  receiving 
from  and  rejoicing  in  his  fulness,  admiring 
his  love,  his  work,  his  person,  his  glory,  his 
advocacy.  It  makes  Christ  precious,  en- 
thrones him  in  the  heart,  presents  him  as  the 
most  delightful  object  to  our  meditations; 
as  our  wisdom,  righteousness,  sanctification, 
and  strength;  our  root,  head,  life,  shepherd, 
and  husband.  These  are  all  Scriptural  ex- 
pressions and  images,  setting  forth,  so  far  as 
words  can  declare,  what  Jesus  is  in  himself 
and  to  his  believing  people.  But  how  cold 
is  the  comment  which  rational  assent  puts 
upon  very  many  passages  wherein  the  apos- 
tle Paul  endeavours,  but  in  vain,  to  express 
the  fulness  of  his  heart  upon  this  subject. 
A  most  valued  friend  of  mine,  a  clergyman, 
now  living,  had  for  many  years  given  a  ra- 
tional assent  to  the  Gospel.  He  laboured 
with  much  earnestness  upon  your  plan,  was 
very  exemplary  in  his  whole  conduct,  preach- 
ed almost  incessantly  (two  or  three  times 
every  day  in  the  week  for  years,)  having  a 
parish  in  the  remote  parts  of  Yorkshire,  of 
great  extent,  and  containing  five  or  six  dif- 
ferent hamlets  at  some  distance  from  each 
other.  He  succeeded  likewise  with  his  peo- 
ple, so  far  as  to  break  them  off  from  outward 
irregularities;  and  was  mentioned  in  a  let- 
ter to  the  Society  for  Propagating  the  Gos- 
pel, which  I  have  seen  in  print,  as  the  most 
perfect  example  of  a  parish-priest  which  this 
nation,  or  perhaps  this  age,  has  produced. 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  207 

Thus  he  went  on  for  many  years  teaching 
his  people  what  he  knew,  for  he  could  teach 
them  no  more.  He  lived  in  such  retirement 
and  recess,  that  he  was  unacquainted  with 
the  persons  and  principles  of  any  who  are 
now  branded  as  enthusiasts  and  methodists. 
One  day  reading  Ephes.  iii.  in  his  Greek 
Testament,  his  thoughts  were  stopped  by 
the  word  aveUxviaatov,  in  verse  8.  He  was 
struck,  and  led  to  think  with  himself,  to  this 
purpose: — "The  apostle,  when  speaking  of 
the  love  and  riches  of  Christ,  uses  remarka- 
ble expressions;  he  speaks  of  heights,  depths, 
and  lengths,  and  breadths,  and  unsearcha- 
bles,  where  I  seem  to  find  every  thing  plain, 
easy,  and  rational.  He  finds  mysteries  where 
I  can  perceive  none.  Surely,  though  I  use 
the  words  gospel,  faith,  and  grace  with  him, 
my  ideas  of  them  must  be  different  from 
his."  This  led  him  to  a  close  examination 
of  all  his  epistles,  and,  by  the  blessings  of 
God,  brought  on  a  total  change  in  his  views 
and  preaching.  He  no  longer  set  his  people 
to  keep  a  law  of  faith,  to  trust  in  their  sin- 
cerity and  endeavours  upon  some  general 
hope  that  Christ  would  help  them  out  where 
they  came  short;  but  he  preached  Christ 
himself,  as  the  end  of  the  law  for  righteous- 
ness to  every  one  that  believeth.  He  felt 
himself,  and  laboured  to  convince  others, 
that  there  is  no  hope  for  a  sinner,  but  merely 
in  the  blood  of  Jesus,  and  no  possibility  of 
his  doing  any  works  acceptable  to  God,  till 


208  LETTERS    TO    THE 

he  himself  be  first  made  accepted  in  the  Be- 
loved. Nor  did  he  labour  in  vain.  Now  his 
preaching  effected  not  only  an  outward  re- 
formation, but  a  real  change  of  heart,  in  very 
many  of  his  hearers.  The  word  was  received, 
as  Paul  expresses  it,  not  with  a  rational  as- 
sent only, but  with  demonstration  and  power 
in  the  Holy  Ghost,  and  in  much  assurance; 
and  their  endeavours  to  observe  the  gospel 
precepts  were  abundantly  more  extensive, 
uniform,  and  successful,  when  they  were 
brought  to  say,  with  the  apostle,  "  I  am 
crucified  with  Christ:  nevertheless  I  live, yet 
not  I,  but  Christ  liveth  in  me ;  and  the  life  I 
live  in  the  flesh,  I  live  by  faith  in  the  Son  of 
God.'^ 

Such  a  change  of  views  and  sentiments  I 
pray  God  my  friend  may  experience.  These 
things  may  appear  uncouth  to  you  at  present, 
as  they  have  done  to  many,  who  now  bless 
God  for  showing  them  what  their  reason 
could  never  have  taught  them.  My  divinity 
is  unfashionable  enough  at  present,  but  it  was 
not  so  always;  you  will  find  few  books  writ- 
ten from  the  era  of  the  Reformation  till  a 
little  before  Laud's  time,  that  set  forth  any 
other.  There  were  few  pulpits  till  after  the 
Restoration  from  which  any  other  was  heard. 
A  lamentable  change  has  indeed  since  taken 
place;  but  God  has  not  left  himself  with- 
out witnesses.  You  think,  though  I  dis- 
claim infallibility,  I  arrogate  too  much,  in 
speaking  with  so  much  certainty.     I  am  fal- 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  209 

lible,  indeed;  but  I  am  sure  of  the  main 
points  of  doctrine  I  hold.  I  am  not  in  the 
least  doubt,  whether  salvation  be  of  faith  or 
of  works;  whether  faith  be  of  our  own  power, 
or  of  God's  operation;  whether  Christ's  obe- 
dience or  our  own  be  the  just  ground  of  our 
hope;  whether  a  man  can  truly  call  Jesus 
Lord,  but  by  the  teaching  of  the  Ploly  Ghost. 
I  have  no  more  hesitation  about  these  points 
than  I  should  have,  were  I  asked,  Whether 
it  was  God  or  man  that  created  the  heavens 
and  the  earth  ?  Besides,  as  I  have  more 
than  once  observed,  your  sentiments  were 
once  my  own;  so  that  I,  who  have  travelled 
both  roads,  may  have, perhaps,  some  stronger 
reason  to  determine  me  which  is  the  right,  than 
you  can  have,  who  have  only  travelled  one. 

Your  two  sheets  may  lead  me  to  write  as 
many  quires,  if  I  do  not  check  myself.  I 
now  come  to  the  two  queries  you  propose, 
the  solution  of  which,  you  think,  will  clearly 
mark  the  difference  of  our  sentiments.  The 
substance  of  them  is,  1st,  Whether  I  think 
any  sinner  ever  perished  in  his  sins,  (to  whom 
the  Gospel  has  been  preaclied,)  because  God 
refused  to  supply  him  with  such  a  proportion 
of  his  assistance  as  was  absolutely  necessary 
to  his  believing  and  repenting,  or  wilhout  his 
having  previously  rejected  the  incitements  of 
his  Holy  Spirit?  A  full  answer  to  this  would 
require  a  sheet.  BlU  briefly,  I  believe,  that 
all  mankind  being  corrupt  and  guilty  before 
God,  he  might,  without  impeachment  to  his 
18 


210  LETTERS   TO    THE 

justice,  have  left  them  all  to  perish,  as  we  are 
assured  he  did  the  fallen  angels.  But  he  was 
pleased  to  show  mercy,  and  mercy  must  be 
free.  If  the  sinner  has  any  claim  to  it,  so  far 
it  is  justice  not  mercy.  He  who  is  to  be  our 
Judge  assures  us,  that  few  find  the  gate  that 
leadeth  to  life,  while  many  throng  the  road  to 
destruction.  Your  question  seems  to  imply, 
that  you  think  God  either  did  make  salvation 
equally  open  to  all,  or  that  it  would  have 
been  more  becoming  his  goodness  to  have 
done  so. 

But  he  is  the  potter,  we  are  the  clay;  his 
ways  and  thoughts  are  above  ours,  as  the 
heavens  are  higher  than  the  earth.  The 
Judge  of  all  the  earth  will  do  right.  He  has 
appointed  a  day,  when  he  will  manifest,  to 
the  conviction  of  all,  that  he  has  done  right. 
Till  then,  I  hold  it  best  to  take  things  upon 
his  word,  and  not  too  rashly  determine 
what  it  becomes  Jehovah  to  do.  Instead  of 
saying  what  I  think,  let  it  suffice  to  remind 
you  of  what  St.  Paul  thought,  Rom.  ix.  15 — 
21.  But  further,  I  say,  that  unless  mercy 
were  aff'orded  to  those  who  are  saved,  in  a 
way  peculiar  to  themselves,  and  which  is  not 
aff'orded  to  those  who  perish,  I  believe  no 
one  soul  could  be  saved.  For  I  believe  fallen 
man,  universally  considered  as  such,  is  as  in- 
capable of  doing  the  least  thing  towards  his 
salvation  till  prevented  by  the  grace  of  God 
(as  our  Article  speaks,)  as  a  dead  body  is  of 
restoring  itself  to  fife.     Whatever  difference 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT,  211 

takes  place  between  men  in  this  respect  is  of 
grace,  that  is,  of  God,  undeserved.  Yea,  his 
first  approaches  to  our  hearts  are  undesired 
too;  for  till  he  seeks  us,  we  cannot,  we  will 
not,  seek  him,  Psalm  ex.  3.  It  is  in  the  day 
of  his  power,  and  not  before,  his  people  are 
made  willing.  But  I  believe,  where  the  Gos- 
pel is  preached,  they  who  do  perish,  do  wil- 
fully resist  the  light,  and  choose  and  cleave 
to  darkness,  and  stifle  the  convictions  which 
the  truths  of  God,  when  his  true  Gospel  is 
indeed  preached,  will,  in  one  degree  or  other, 
force  upon  their  minds.  The  cares  of  this 
world,  the  deceitfulness  of  riches,  the  love  of 
other  things,  the  violence  of  sinful  appetites, 
their  prejudices,  pride,  and  self-righteousness, 
either  prevent  the  reception,  or  choke  the 
growth,  of  the  good  seed:  thus  their  own 
sin  and  obstinacy  is  the  proper  cause  of  their 
destruction;  they  will  not  come  to  Christ, 
that  they  may  have  life.  At  the  same  time, 
it  is  true  that  they  cannot,  unless  they  are 
supernaturally  drawn  of  God,  John  v.  40, 
vi.  44.  They  will  not,  and  they  cannot 
come.  Both  are  equally  true,  and  they  are 
consistent.  For  a  man's  cannot  is  not  a  na- 
tural, but  a  moral  inability;  not  an  impossi- 
bility in  the  nature  of  things,  as  it  is  for  me 
to  walk  upon  the  water,  or  to  fly  in  the  air; 
but  such  an  inability  as,  instead  of  extenu- 
ating, does  exceedingly  enhance  and  aggra- 
vate his  guilt.  He  is  so  blinded  by  Satan, 
so  alienated  from  God  by  nature  and  wicked 


212  LETTERS    TO    THE 

works,  so  given  up  to  sin,  so  averse  from 
that  way  of  salvation,  which  is  contrary  to 
his  pride  and  natural  wisdom,  that  he  will 
not  embrace  it,  or  seek  after  it ;  and  there- 
fore he  cannot,  till  the  grace  of  God  power- 
fully enlightens  his  mind,  and  overcomes  his 
obstacles.  But  this  brings  me  to  your  second 
query: 

2.  Do  I  think  that  God,  in  the  ordinary 
course  of  his  providence,  grants  this  assist- 
ance in  an  irresistible  manner,  or  effects 
faith  and  conversion,  without  the  sinner's 
own  hearty  consent  and  concurrence?  I 
rather  choose  to  term  grace  invincible  than 
irresistible:  for  it  is  too  often  resisted  even 
by  those  who  believe;  but  because  it  is  in- 
vincible, it  triumphs  overall  resistance  when 
He  is  pleased  to  bestovv  it.  For  the  rest,  I 
believe  no  sinner  is  converted  without  his 
own  hearty  will  and  concurrence.  But  he 
is  not  willing  till  he  is  made  so.  Why  does 
he  at  all  refuse?  Because  he  is  insensible 
of  his  state;  because  he  knows  not  the  evil 
of  sin,  the  strictness  of  the  law,  the  majesty 
of  God  whom  he  has  offended,  nor  the  total 
apostasy  of  his  heart;  because  he  is  blind  to 
eternity,  and  ignorant  of  the  excellency  of 
Christ;  because  he  is  comparatively  whole, 
and  sees  not  his  need  of  this  great  physician; 
because  he  relies  upon  his  own  wisdom, 
power,  and  supposed  righteousness.  Now, 
in  this  state  of  things,  when  God  comes  with 
a  purpose  of  mercy,  he  begins  by  convincing 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  213 

the  person  of  sin,  judgment,  and  righteous- 
ness, causes  him  to  feel  and  know  that  he  is 
a  lost,  condemned,  helpless  creature,  and 
then  discovers  to  him  the  necessity,  suffi- 
ciency, and  willingness,  of  Christ  to  save 
them  that  are  ready  to  perish,  without  money 
or  price,  without  doings  or  deservings.  Then 
he  sees  faith  to  be  very  different  from  a 
rational  assent,  finds  that  nothing  but  the 
power  of  God  can  produce  a  well-grounded 
hope  in  the  heart  of  a  convinced  sinner; 
therefore  looks  to  Jesus,  who  is  the  author 
and  finisher  of  faith,  to  enable  him  to  believe. 
For  this  he  waits  in  what  we  call  the  means 
of  grace;  he  prays,  he  reads  the  word,  he 
thirsts  for  God,  as  the  hart  pants  for  the 
water  brooks;  and  though,  perhaps,  for  a 
while  he  is  distressed  with  many  doubts  and 
fears,  he  is  encouraged  to  wait  on,  because 
Jesus  has  said,  '^  Him  that  cometh  unto  me, 
I  will  in  no  wise  cast  out.^'  The  obstinacy 
of  the  will  remains  while  the  understanding 
is  dark,  and  ceases  when  that  is  enlightened. 
Suppose  a  man  walking  in  the  dark,  where 
there  are  pits  and  precipices  of  which  he  is 
not  aware.  You  are  sensible  of  his  danger, 
and  call  after  him:  but  he  thinks  he  knows 
better  than  you,  refuses  your  advice,  and  is 
perhaps  angry  with  you  for  your  importunity. 
He  sees  no  danger,  therefore  will  not  be  per- 
suaded there  is  any;  but  if  you  go  with  a 
light,  get  before  him,  and  show  him  plainly 
that  if  he  takes  another  step  he  falls  beyond 


214  LETTERS    TO    THE 

the  power  of  recovery;  then  he  will  stop  of 
his  own  accord,  blame  himself  for  not  mind- 
ing you  before,  and  be  ready  to  comply  with 
your  further  directions.  In  either  case  man's 
will  acts  with  equal  freedom ;  the  difference 
of  his  conduct  arises  from  conviction.  Some- 
thing like  this  is  the  case  of  our  spiritual 
concerns.  Sinners  are  called  and  warned  by 
the  word;  but  they  are  wise  in  their  own 
eyes,  and  take  but  little  notice  till  the  Lord 
gives  them  light,  which  he  is  not  bound  to 
give  to  any,  and  therefore  cannot  be  bound 
to  give  to  all.  They  who  have  it  have  reason 
to  be  thankful,  and  subscribe  to  the  apos- 
tle's words,  "  By  grace  are  ye  saved,  through 
faith;  and  that  not  of  yourselves,  it  is  the 
gift  of  God." 

I  have  not  yet  half  done  with  the  first  sheet: 
I  shall  consider  the  rest  at  leisure,  but  send 
this  as  a  specimen  of  my  willingness  to  clear 
my  sentiments  to  you  as  far  as  I  can.  Un- 
less it  should  please  God  to  make  what  I  offer 
satisfactory,  I  well  know  beforehand  what 
objections  and  answers  will  occur  to  you,  for 
these  points  have  been  often  debated;  and, 
after  a  course  of  twenty- seven  years,  in 
which  religion  has  been  the  chief  object  of 
my  thoughts  and  inquiries,  I  am  not  entirely 
a  stranger  to  what  can  be  offered  on  either 
side.  What  I  write,  I  write  simply  and  in 
love,  beseeching  him  who  alone  can  set  a 
seal  to  his  own  truth  to  guide  you  and  bless 
you.     This  letter  has  been  more  than  a  week 


EEV.    DR.    SCOTT.  215 

in  hand:  I  have  been  called  from  it,  I  sup- 
pose, ten  times,  frequently  in  the  middle  of 
a  period  or  a  line.  My  leisure,  which  before 
was  small,  is  now  reduced  almost  to  a  no- 
thing. But  I  am  desirous  to  keep  up  my 
correspondence  with  you,  because  I  feel  an 
affectionate  interest  in  you,  and  because  it 
pleased  God  to  put  it  into  your  heart  to  ap- 
ply to  me.  You  carmot  think  how  your  first 
letter  struck  me :  it  was  so  unexpected,  and 
seemed  so  improbable  that  you  should  open 
your  mind  to  me,  I  immediately  conceived  a 
hope  it  would  prove  for  good.  Nor  am  I 
yet  discouraged. 

When  you  have  leisure  and  inclination, 
write;  I  shall  always  be  glad  to  hear  from 
you,  and  I  will  proceed  in  answering  what  I 
have  already  by  me  as  fast  as  I  can.  But  I 
have  many  letters  now  waiting  for  answers, 
which  must  be  attended  to. 

I  recommend  you  to  the  blessing  and  care 
of  the  great  Shepherd,  and  remain,  &c. 


LETTER  VIII. 

December  8,  1775. 
My  dear  Friend, — Are  you  willing  I  should 
still  call  you  so,  or  are  you  quite  weary  of 
me  ?  Your  silence  makes  me  suspect  the 
latter.  However,  it  is  my  part  to  fulfil  my 
promise,  and  then  leave  the  event  to  God. 
As  I  have  but  an  imperfect  remembrance  of 


216  LETTERS    TO   THE 

what  I  have  already  written,  I  may  be  Uable 
to  some  repetitions.  I  cannot  stay  to  com- 
ment upon  every  line  in  your  letter,  but  I  pro- 
ceed to  notice  such  passages  as  seem  most  to 
affect  the  subject  in  debate.  When  you 
speak  of  the  Scriptures  maintaining  one  con- 
sistent sense,  which,  if  the  word  of  God,  it 
certainly  must  do,  you  say  you  read  and  un- 
derstand it  in  this  one  consistent  sense;  nay, 
you  cannot  remember  the  time  when  you 
did  not.  It  is  otherwise  with  me  and  with 
multitudes;  we  remember  when  it  v/as  a 
sealed  book,  and  we  are  sure  it  would  have 
been  so  still,  had  not  the  Holy  Spirit  opened 
our  understandings.  But  when  you  add, 
though  I  pretend  not  to  understand  the  whole, 
yet  what  I  do  understand  appears  perfectly 
consistent,  I  know  not  how  far  this  exception 
may  extend,  for  perhaps  the  reason  why  you 
allow  you  do  not  understand  some  parts,  is 
because  you  cannot  make  them  consistent 
with  the  sense  you  put  upon  other  parts. 
You  quote  my  words,  ^'That  when  we  are 
conscious  of  our  depravity,  reasoning  stands 
us  in  no  stead."  Undoubtedly  reason  al  ways 
will  stand  rational  creatures  in  some  stead; 
but  my  meaning  is,  that  when  we  are  deeply 
convinced  of  sin,  all  our  former  reasonings 
upon  the  ways  of  God,  while  we  made  our 
conceptions  the  standard  by  which  we  judge 
what  is  befitting  him  to  do,  as  if  he  were 
altogether  such  an  one  as  ourselves, — all 
these  cobweb  reasonings  are  swept  away, 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  217 

and  we  submit  to  his  avroj  ttprj  without  rea- 
soning, though  not  without  reason.  For  we 
have  the  strongest  reason  imaginable  to  ac- 
knowledge ourselves  vile  and  lost  without 
righteousness  and  strength,  when  we  actu- 
ally feel  ourselves  to  be  so.  You  speak  of 
the  gospel  terms  of  justification.  This  term 
is  faith.  Mark  xvi.  16,  Acts  xiii.  29.  The 
gospel  propounds,  admits  no  other  term. 
But  this  faith,  as  I  endeavoured  to  show  in 
my  former  letter,  is  very  different  from  ra- 
tional assent.  You  speak  hkewise  of  the 
law  of  faith,  by  which,  if  you  mean  what 
some  call  the  remedial  law,  which  we  are  to 
obey  as  well  as  we  can,  and  such  obedience, 
together  with  our  faith,  will  entitle  us  to  ac- 
ceptance with  God,  I  am  persuaded  the  Scrip- 
tures speak  of  no  such  thing.  Grace  and 
works  of  any  kind,  in  the  point  of  acceptance 
with  God,  are  mentioned  by  the  apostle  not 
only  as  opposites  or  contraries,  but  as  abso- 
lutely contradictory  to  each  other,  like  fire 
and  water,  light  and  darkness;  so  that  the 
affirmation  of  one  is  the  denial  of  the  other. 
Rom.  iv.  5,  and  xi.  6.  God  justifies  freely, 
justifies  the  ungodly,  and  him  that  worketh 
not.  Though  justifying  faith  be  indeed  an 
active  principle,  it  worketh  by  love,  yet  not 
for  acceptance.  Those  whom  the  apostle 
exhorts  "to  work  out  their  own  salvation 
with  fear  and  trembling,^'  he  considers  as 
justified  already;  for  he  considers  them  as 
believers,  in  whom  he  supposed  God  ha4 
19 


218  LETTERS    TO    THE 

already  begun  a  good  work;  and  if  so,  was 
confident  he  would  accomplish  it,  Phil.  i.  6. 
To  them,  the  consideration  that  God,  who 
dwells  in  the  heart  of  believers,  wrought  in 
them  to  will  and  to  do,  was  a  powerful  mo- 
tive and  encouragement  to  them  to  work, 
that  is,  to  give  all  diligence  in  his  appointed 
means,  as  a  right  sense  of  the  sin  that  dwell- 
eth  in  us,  and  the  snares  and  temptations 
around  us,  will  teach  us  still  to  work  with 
fear  and  trembling.  You  suppose  a  differ- 
ence between  Christians  (so  called)  who  are 
devoted  to  God  in  baptism,  and  those  who 
in  the  first  ages  were  converted  from  abom- 
inable superstitions  and  idolatrous  vices.  It 
is  true  in  Christian  countries  we  do  not  wor- 
ship heathen  divinities  by  that  name,  and  this 
is  the  principal  difference  I  can  find.  Nei- 
ther reason  nor  observation  will  allow  me  to 
think,  that  human  nature  is  a  whit  better  now 
than  it  was  in  the  apostle's  time.  I  know  no 
kindsor  degrees  of  wickedness  which  prevail- 
ed among  heathens  which  are  not  prevalent 
among  nominal  Christians,  who  have  perhaps 
been  baptized  in  their  infancy;  and  therefore, 
as  the  streams  in  the  life  are  equally  worldly, 
sensual,  devilish,  I  doubt  not  but  the  foun- 
tain of  the  heart  is  equally  polluted  and  poi- 
sonous; and  that  is  as  true,  as  in  the  days  of 
Christ  and  his  apostles,  that  unless  a  man  be 
born  again,  he  cannot  see  the  kingdom  of 
God.  You  sent  me  a  sermon  upon  the  new 
birth,  or  regeneration,  and  you  have  several 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  219 

of  mine  on  the  same  subject.  I  wish  you  to 
compare  them  with  each  other,  and  with 
Scripture;  and  I  pray  God  to  show  you 
wherein  the  difference  consists,  and  on  which 
side  the  truth  Ues. 

When  you  desire  me  to  reconcile  God's 
being  the  author  of  sin  with  his  justice,  you 
show  that  you  misunderstand  the  whole 
strain  of  my  sentiments;  for  I  am  persuaded 
you  would  not  misrepresent  them.  It  is 
easy  to  charge  harsh  consequences,  which  I 
neither  allow,  nor  indeed  do  they  follow  from 
my  sentiments.  God  cannot  be  the  author 
of  sin  in  that  sense  you  would  fix  upon  me; 
but  is  it  possible  that  upon  your  plan  you 
find  no  difficulty  in  what  the  Scriptures  teach 
us  upon  this  subject?  I  conceive  that  those 
who  were  concerned  in  the  death  of  Christ 
were  very  great  sinners,  and  that  in  nailing 
him  to  the  cross  they  committed  atrocious 
wickedness;  yet  if  the  apostle  may  be  be- 
lieved, all  this  was  according  to  the  determi- 
nate counsel  and  foreknowledge  of  God,  Acts 
ii.  23;  and  they  did  no  more  than  what  his 
hand  and  purpose  had  determined  should  be 
done,  chap.  iv.  28.  And  you  will  observe 
that  this  wicked  act,  (wicked  with  respect  to 
the  perpetrators)  was  not  only  permitted,  but 
fore-ordained  in  the  strongest  and  most  ab- 
solute sense  of  the  word.  The  glory  of  God 
and  the  salvation  of  men  depended  upon  its 
being  dorje,  and  just  in  that  manner,  and, 
with  all  those  circumstances  which  actually 


220  LETTERS    TO    THE 

took  place,  and  yet  Judas  and  the  rest  acted 
freely,  and  their  wickedness  was  probably 
their  own.  Now,  my  friend,  the  arguments 
which  satisfy  you  that  the  Scriptures  do  not 
represent  God  as  the  author  of  this  sin  in 
this  appointment,  will  plead  for  me  at  the 
same  time;  and  when  you  think  you  easily 
overcome  me  by  asking,  "  Can  God  be  the 
author  of  sin?''  your  imputation  falls  as  di- 
rectly upon  the  word  of  God  himself.  God 
is  no  more  the  author  of  sin  than  the  sun  is 
the  cause  of  ice;  but  it  is  in  the  nature  of 
water  to  congeal  into  ice  when  the  sun's  in- 
iSiuence  is  suspended  to  a  certain  degree. 
So  there  is  sin  enough  in  the  hearts  of  men 
to  make  the  earth  the  very  image  of  hell, 
and  to  prove  that  men  are  no  better  than  in- 
carnate devils,  were  he  to  suspend  his  in- 
fluence and  restraint.  Sometimes,  and  in 
some  instances,  he  is  pleased  to  suspend  it 
considerably,  and  so  far  as  he  does,  human 
nature  quickly  appears  in  its  true  colours. 
Objections  of  this  kind  have  been  repeated 
and  refuted  before  either  you  or  I  were  born; 
and  the  apostle  evidently  supposes  they 
would  be  urged  against  the  doctrine,  when 
he  obviates  the  question,  "  Why  doth  he  yet 
find  fault;  who  hath  resisted  his  will.^"  To 
which  he  gives  no  other  answer  than  by  re- 
ferring it  to  God's  sovereignty,  and  the 
power  which  a  potter  has  over  the  clay.  I 
think  I  have  in  a  former  letter  made  some 
reply  to  the  charge  of  positiveness  in  my 


KEV.    DE.    SCOTT.  221 

own  opinion.  I  acknowledge  that  I  am  falli- 
ble, yet  I  must  again  lay  claim  to  a  certainty 
about  the  way  of  salvation.  I  am  as  sure 
of  some  things  as  of  my  own  existence:  I 
should  be  so  if  there  was  no  human  creature 
upon  earth  but  myself  However,  my  senti- 
ments are  confirmed  by  the  suffrages  of  thou- 
sands who  have  lived  before  me,  of  many 
with  whom  I  have  personally  conversed  in 
different  places  and  circumstances,  unknown 
to  each  other;  yet  all  have  received  the  same 
views,  because  taught  by  the  same  Spirit. 
And  I  have  likewise  been  greatly  confirmed 
by  the  testimony  of  many  with  whom  I  have 
conversed  in  their  dying  hours.  I  have  seen 
them  rejoicing  in  the  prospect  of  death,  free 
from  fears,  breathing  the  air  of  immortality; 
heartily  disclaiming  their  duties  and  perform- 
ances; acknowledging  that  their  best  actions 
were  attended  with  evil  sufficient  to  condemn 
them ;  renouncing  every  shadow  of  hope, 
but  what  they  derived  from  the  blood  of 
Christ,  as  the  sole  cause  of  their  acceptance; 
yet  triumphing  in  him  over  every  enemy  and 
fear,  and  as  sure  of  heaven  as  if  they  were 
already  there.  And  such  were  the  apostle's 
hopes,  wholly  founded  on  knowing  whom 
he  had  believed,  and  his  persuasion  of  his 
ability  to  keep  that  which  he  had  committed 
unto  him.  This  is  faith,  a  renouncing  of 
every  thing  we  are  apt  to  call  our  own,  and 
relying  wholly  upon  the  blood,  righteous- 
ness, and  intercession  of  Jesus.     However, 


222  LETTERS    TO   THE 

I  cannot  communicate  this  my  certainty  to 
you;  I  only  tell  you  there  is  such  a  thing,  in 
hopes,  if  you  do  not  think  I  wilfully  lie  both 
to  God  and  man,  you  will  be  earnest  to  seek 
it  from  him  who  bestowed  it  on  me,  and 
who  will  bestow  it  upon  all  who  will  sin- 
cerely apply  to  him,  and  patiently  wait  upon 
him  for  it. 

I  cannot  but  wonder,  that  while  you  pro- 
fess to  believe  the  depravity  of  human  na- 
ture, you  should  speak  of  good  qualities  in- 
herent in  it.  The  word  of  God,  describes  it 
as  evil,  only  evil,  and  that  continually.  That 
there  are  such  quahties  as  Stoics  and  infidels 
call  virtue,  I  allow.  God  has  not  left  man 
destitute  of  such  dispositions  as  are  neces- 
sary to  the  peace  of  society;  but  I  deny  there 
is  any  moral  goodne^js  in  them,  unless  they 
are  founded  in  a  supreme  love  to  God,  have 
his  glory  for  their  aim,  and  are  produced  by 
faith  in  Jesus  Christ.  A  man  may  give  all 
his  goods  to  feed  the  poor,  and  his  body  to 
be  burned,  in  zeal  for  the  truth,  and  yet  be 
a  mere  nothing,  a  tinkling  cymbal,  in  the 
sight  of  him  who  seeth  not  as  man  seeth, 
but  judgeth  the  heart.  Many  infidels  and 
avowed  enemies  to  the  grace  and  Gospel  of 
Christ,  have  made  a  fair  show  of  what  the 
world  call  virtue;  but  Christian  virtue  is 
grace,  the  effect  of  a  new  nature  and  new 
life ;  and  works  thus  wrought  in  God,  are  as 
diff'erent  from  the  faint,  partial  imitations  of 
them  which  fallen  nature  is  capable  of  pro- 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT. 


223 


ducing,  as  a  living  man  is  from  a  statue.  A 
statue  may  express  the  features  and  linea- 
ments of  the  person  whom  it  represents,  but 
there  is  no  life. 

Your  comment  on  the  seventh  to  the  Ro- 
mans, latter  part,  contradicts  my  feelings. 
You  are  either  of  a  different  make  and  na- 
ture from  me,  or  else  you  are  not  rightly  ap- 
prized of  your  own  state,  if  you  do  not  find 
the  apostle's  complaint  very  suitable  to  your- 
self. I  believe  it  applicable  to  the  most  holy 
Christian  upon  earth.  But  controversies  of 
this  kind  are  worn  thread-bare.  When  you 
speak  of  the  spiritual  part  of  a  natural  man, 
it  sounds  to  me  like  the  living  part  of  a  dead 
man,  or  the  seeing  part  of  a  blind  man. 
Paul  tells  me,  that  the  natural  man,  what- 
ever his  spiritual  part  may  be,  can  neither 
receive  nor  discern  the  things  of  God.  What 
the  apostle  speaks  of  himself  (Rom.  vii.)  is 
no  more,  when  rightly  understood,  than  what 
he  affirms  of  all  who  are  partakers  of  a  spi- 
ritual life,  or  who  are  true  believers,  Gal.  v. 
17.  The  carnal  natural  mind  is  enmity 
against  God,  not  subject  to  the  law  of  God, 
neither  indeed  can  be.  When  you  subjoin, 
"Till  it  be  set  at  liberty  from  the  law  of 
sin,"  you  do  not  comment  upon  the  text,  but 
make  an  addition  of  your  own,  which  the 
text  will  by  no  means  bear.  The  carnal 
mind  is  enmity.  An  enemy  may  be  recon- 
ciled, but  enmity  itself  is  incurable.  This 
carnal  mind,  natural  man,  old  man,  flesh  (for 


224 


LETTERS    TO   THE 


the  expressions  are  all  equivalent,  and  de- 
note and  include  the  heart  of  man  as  he  is 
by  nature,)  may  be  crucified,  must  be  morti- 
fied, but  cannot  be  sanctified.     All  that  is 
good  and  gracious,  is  the  effect  of  a  new 
creation,  a  supernatural  principle,  wrought 
in  the  heart  by  the  gospel  of  Christ,  and  the 
agency  of  his  Spirit;  and,  till  that  is  effected, 
the  highest  attainment,  the  finest  qualifica- 
tions in  man,  however  they  may  exalt  him 
in  his  own  eyes,  or  recommend  him  to  the 
notice  of  his  fellow-worms,  are  but  abomi- 
nation in  the  sight  of  God,  Luke  xvi.  15. 
The  gospel   is   calculated   and  designed  to 
stain  the  pride  of  human  glory.      It  is  pro- 
vided, not  for  the  wise  and  the  righteous,  for 
those  who  think  they  have  good  dispositions 
and  good  works  to  plead,  but  for  the  guilty, 
the  helpless,  the  wretched,  for  those  who  are 
ready  to  perish;  it  fills  the  hungry  with  good 
things,  but  it  sends   the  rich  empty  away. 
See  Rev.  iii.  17,  18. 

You  ask,  If  man  can  do  nothing  without 
an  extraordinary  impulse  from  on  high,  is 
he  to  sit  still  and  careless?  By  no  means — 
I  am  far  from  saying  man  can  do  nothing, 
though  I  believe  he  cannot  open  his  own 
eyes,  or  give  himself  faith.  I  wish  every 
man  to  abstain  carefully  from  sinful  com- 
pany, and  sinful  actions,  to  read  the  Bible,  to 
pray  to  God  for  his  heavenly  teaching.  For 
this  waiting  upon  God  he  has  a  moral  abili- 
ty; and  if  he  persevere  thus  in  seeking,  the 


REV.    DR.   SCOTT.  225 

promise  is  sure,  that  he  shall  not  seek  in 
vain.  But  I  would  not  have  him  mistake 
the  means  for  the  end;  think  himself  good 
because  he  is  preserved  from  gross  vices  and 
follies,  or  trust  to  his  religious  course  of  duties 
for  acceptance,  nor  be  satisfied  till  Christ  be 
revealed  in  him,  formed  within  him,  dwell 
in  his  heart  by  faith,  and  till  he  can  say  upon 
good  grounds,  "I  am  crucified  with  Christ; 
nevertheless  I  live;  yet  not  I,  but  Christ 
liveth  in  me."  I  need  not  tell  you,  these  are 
Scriptural  expressions;  I  am  persuaded,  if 
they  were  not,  they  would  be  exploded  by 
many  as  unintelligible  jargon.  True  faith, 
my  dear  Sir,  unites  the  soul  to  Christ,  and 
thereby  gives  access  to  God,  and  fills  it  with 
a  peace  passing  understanding,  a  hope,  a  joy 
unspeakable  and  full  of  glory;  teaches  us 
that  we  are  weak  in  ourselves,  but  enables 
us  to  be  strong  in  the  Lord,  and  in  the 
power  of  his  might.  To  those  who  thus  be- 
lieve, Christ  is  precious,  their  beloved;  they 
hear  and  know  his  voice:  the  very  sound  of 
his  name  gladdens  their  hearts,  and  he  mani- 
fests himself  to  them  as  he  does  not  to  the 
world.  Thus  the  Scriptures  speak,  thus  the 
first  Christians  experienced ;  and  this  is  pre- 
cisely the  language,  which,  in  our  days,  is 
despised  as  enthusiasm  and  folly.  For  it  is 
now  as  it  was  then,  though  these  things  are 
revealed  to  babes,  and  they  are  as  sure  of 
them  as  that  they  see  the  noon-day  sun,  they 
are  hidden  from  the  wise  and  prudent,  till 


226  LETTEES   TO   THE 

the  Lord  makes  them  willing  to  renounce 
their  own  wisdom,  and  to  become  fools,  that 
they  may  be  truly  wise,  1  Cor.  i.  IS,  19;  iii. 
8;  viii.  2.  Attention  to  the  education  of 
children  is  an  undoubted  duty ;  and  it  is  a 
mercy  when  it  so  far  succeeds  as  to  preserve 
them  from  gross  wickedness;  but  it  will  not 
change  the  heart.  They  who  receive  Christ 
are  born,  not  of  blood,  nor  of  the  will  of  the 
flesh,  nor  of  the  will  of  man,  but  of  God, 
John  i.  13. 

If  a  man  profess  to  love  the  Lord  Jesus, 
I  am  willing  to  believe  him,  if  he  does  not 
give  me  proof  to  the  contrary;  but  I  am  sure, 
at  the  same  time,  no  one  can  love  him  in  the 
Scriptural  sense,  who  does  not  know  the  need 
and  the  worth  of  a  Saviour;  in  other  words, 
who  is  not  brought,  as  a  ruined,  helpless  sin- 
ner, to  live  upon  him  for  wisdom,  righteous- 
ness, sanctification,  and  redemption.  They 
who  love  him  thus  will  speak  highly  of  him, 
and  acknowledge  that  he  is  their  all  in  all. 
And  they  who  thus  love  him,  and  speak  of 
him,  will  get  little  thanks  for  their  pains  in 
such  a  world  as  this:  "  All  that  live  godly  in 
Christ  Jesus  must  suffer  persecution;''  the 
world  that  hated  him,  will  hate  them.  And 
though  it  is  possible,  by  his  grace  to  put  to 
silence,  in  some  measure,  the  ignorance  of 
foolish  men;  and  though  his  providence  can 
protect  his  people,  so  that  not  a  hair  of  their 
heads  can  be  hurt  without  his  permission:  yet 
the  world  will  show  their  teeth,  if  they  are 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  227 

not  suffered  to  bite.     The  apostles  were  ac- 
counted  babblers,  c«j  Tts^ixaOa^ixata  T'ox)  xosfiov 

xab  Ttavtcov  rti^i'^ri^ia.  I  need  not  point  out  to 
you  the  force  of  these  expressions.  We  are 
no  better  than  the  apostles;  nor  have  we 
reason  to  expect  much  better  treatment,  so 
far  as  we  walk  in  their  steps.  On  the  other 
hand,  there  is  a  sober,  decent  way  of  speak- 
ing of  God,  and  goodness,  and  benevolence, 
and  sobriety,  which  the  world  will  bear  well 
enough ;  nay,  we  may  say  a  little  about  Jesus 
Christ,  as  ready  to  make  up  the  deficiencies 
of  our  honest  and  good  endeavours,  and  this 
will  not  displease  them.  But  if  we  preach 
him  as  the  only  foundation,  lay  open  the 
horrid  evils  of  the  human  heart,  tell  our 
hearers  that  they  are  dead  in  trespasses  and 
sins,  and  have  no  better  ground  of  hope  in 
themselves  than  the  vilest  malefactors,  in 
order  to  exalt  the  glory  of  Jesus,  as  saving 
those  who  are  saved  wholly  and  freely  for 
his  own  name's  sake;  if  we  tell  the  virtuous 
and  decent,  as  well  as  the  profligate,  that 
unless  they  are  born  again,  and  made  par- 
takers of  living  faith,  and  count  all  things  loss 
for  the  excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ, 
they  cannot  be  saved:  this  the  world  cannot 
bear.  We  shall  be  called  knaves  or  fools, 
uncharitable  bigots,  and  twenty  hard  names. 
If  you  have  met  with  nothing  like  this,  I 
wish  it  may  lead  you  to  suspect  whether  you 
have  yet  received  the  right  key  to  the  doc- 
trines of  Christ:  for  depend  upon  it,  the  of- 
fence of  the  cross  is  not  ceased. 


228  LETTERS    TO    THE 

I  am  grieved  and  surprised  that  you  seem 
to  take  little  notice  of  any  thing  in  the  ac- 
count of  my  deceased  friend,  but  his  wishing 
himself  to  be  a  deist,  and  his  having  play- 
books  about  him  in  his  illness.     Your  remark 
on  the  other  point  shows  that  you  are  not 
much  acquainted  with  the  exercises  of  the 
human  mind  under  certain  circumstances.    I 
believe  I  observed  formerly,  that  it  was  not 
a  libertine  wish.     Had  you  known  him,  you 
would  have  known  one  of  the  most  amiable 
and   unblemished    characters.      Few    were 
more  beloved  and  admired  for  an  uniform 
course  of  integrity,  moderation,  and  benevo- 
lence; but  he  was  discouraged.     He  studied 
the  Bible,  believed  it  in  general  to  be  the 
word  of  God;   but  his  wisdom,  his  strong 
turn  for  reasoning,  stood  so  in  his  way,  that 
he  could  get  no  solid  comfort  from  it.     He 
felt  the  vanity  of  the  schemes  proposed  by 
many  men  admired  in  the  world  as  teachers 
of  divinity;  and  he  felt  the  vanity  likewise 
of  his  own.     He  was  also  a  minister,  and 
had   a  sincere   design  of  doing  good.     He 
wished  to  reform  the  profligate,  and  comfort 
the  afflicted  by  his  preaching;  but  as  he  was 
not  acquainted  with  that  one  kind  of  preach- 
ing which  God  owns  to  the  edification  of 
the  hearers,  he  found  he  could  do  neither. 
A  sense  of  disappointments  of  this  kind  dis- 
tressed him.     Finding  in  himself  none   of 
that  peace  which  the  Scriptures  speak  of, 
and  none  of  the  influence  he  hoped  for  at- 
tending his  ministry,  he  was  led  sometimes 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  229 

to  question  the  truth  of  the  Scriptures.  We 
have  a  spiritual  enemy  always  near,  to  press 
upon  a  mind  in  this  desponding  situation: 
nor  am  I  surprised  that  he  should  then  wish 
himself  a  deist;  since,  if  there  were  any  hope 
for  a  sinner  but  by  faith  in  the  blood  of 
Jesus,  he  had  as  much  of  his  own  goodness 
to  depend  upon  as  most  I  have  known.  As 
for  the  rest,  if  you  could  see  nothing  admir- 
able and  wonderful  in  the  clearness,  the  dig- 
nity, the  spirituality  of  his  expressions,  after 
the  Lord  revealed  the  gospel  to  him,  I  can 
only  say,  I  am  sorry  for  it.  This  I  know, 
that  some  persons  of  sense,  taste,  learning, 
and  reason,  and  far  enough  from  my  senti- 
ments, have  been  greatly  struck  with  them. 
You  say,  a  death-bed  repentance  is  what  you 
would  be  sorry  to  give  any  hope  of.  My 
dear  friend,  it  is  well  for  poor  sinners  that 
God's  thoughts  and  ways  are  as  much  above 
men's,  as  the  heavens  are  higher  than  the 
earth.  We  agreed  to  communicate  our  senti- 
ments freely,  and  promised  not  to  be  offend- 
ed with  each  other's  freedom,  if  we  could 
help  it.  I  am  afraid  of  offending  you  by  a 
thought  just  now  upon  my  mind,  and  yet  I 
dare  not  in  conscience  suppress  it.  I  must 
therefore  venture  to  say,  that  I  hope  they 
who  depend  upon  such  a  repentance  as  your 
scheme  points  out,  will  repent  of  their  re- 
pentance itself  upon  their  death-bed  at  least, 
if  not  sooner.  You  and  I  perhaps,  should 
have  encouraged  the  fair  spoken  young  man 


230  LETTERS    TO    THE 

who  said  he  had  kept  all  the  commandments 
from  his  youth,  and  rather  have  left  the  thief 
upon  the  cross  to  perish  like  a  villain  as  he 
lived.  But  Jesus  thought  differently.  I  do 
not  encourage  sinners  to  defer  their  repent- 
ance to  their  death-beds.  I  press  the  neces- 
sity of  a  repentance  this  moment.  But  then 
I  take  care  to  tell  them,  that  repentance  is 
the  gift  of  God ;  that  Jesus  is  exalted  to  be- 
stow it;  and  that  all  their  endeavours  that 
way,  unless  they  seek  to  him  for  grace,  will 
be  vain  as  washing  a  blackmoor,  and  tran- 
sient as  washing  a  sow  which  will  soon  re- 
turn to  the  mire  again.  I  know  the  evil 
heart  will  abuse  the  grace  of  God;  the  apostle 
knew  this  likewise,  Rom.  iii.  8,  and  vi.  3. 
But  this  did  not  tempt  him  to  suppress  the 
glorious  grace  of  the  gospel,  the  power  of 
Jesus  to  save  to  the  uttermost,  and  his  mer- 
ciful promise,  that  whosoever  cometh  unto 
him,  he  will  in  no  wise  cast  him  out.  The 
repentance  of  a  natural  heart  proceeding 
wholly  from  fear,  like  that  of  some  malefac- 
tors, who  are  sorry,  not  that  they  have  com- 
mitted robbery  or  murder,  but  that  they  must 
be  hanged  for  it;  this  undoubtedly  is  nothing 
worth,  whether  in  time  of  health,  or  in  a 
dying  hour.  But  that  ^ufi^avota,  that  gracious 
change  of  heart,  views,  and  dispositions, 
which  always  takes  place  when  Jesus  is  made 
known  to  the  soul  as  having  died,  that  the 
sinner  might  live,  and  been  wounded,  that 
he  might  be  healed;  this,  at  whatever  period 


REV.    DR.    SCOTT.  231 

God  is  pleased  to  afford  and  effect  it  by  his 
Spirit,  brings  a  sure  and  everlasting  salva- 
tion with  it. 

Still  I  find  I  have  not  done:  you  ask  my 
exposition  of  the  parables  of  the  talents  and 
pounds;  but  at  present  I  can  write  no  more, 
I  have  only  just  time  to  tell  you,  that  when 
I  begged  your  acceptance  of  Omicron,  noth- 
ing was  further  from  my  expectation  than  a 
correspondence  with  you.  The  frank  and 
kind  manner  in  which  you  wrote  presently 
won  upon  my  heart.  In  the  course  of  our 
letters  upon  subscription,  I  observed  an  in- 
tegrity and  disinterestedness  in  you,  which 
endeared  you  to  me  still  more.  Since  that 
our  debates  have  taken  a  much  more  inter- 
esting turn;  I  have  considered  it  as  a  call, 
and  an  opportunity  put  in  my  hand,  by  the 
special  providence  of  him  who  ruleth  over 
all.  I  have  embraced  the  occasion,  to  lay 
before  you  simply,  and  rather  in  a  way  of 
testimony  than  argumentation,  what,  in  the 
main,  I  am  sure  is  truth.  I  have  done 
enough  to  discharge  my  conscience,  but  shall 
never  think  I  do  enough  to  answer  the  affec- 
tion I  bear  you.  I  have  done  enough  like- 
wise to  make  you  weary  of  my  correspon- 
dence, unless  it  should  please  God  to  fix  the 
subject  deeply  upon  your  mind,  and  make 
you  attentive  to  the  possibility  and  vast  im- 
portance of  a  mistake  in  matters  of  ever- 
lasting concernment.  I  pray  that  the  good 
Spirit  of  God  may  guide  you  into  all  truths. 


232    LETTERS  TO  THE  REV.  DR.  SCOTT. 

He  only  is  the  effectual  teacher.  I  still  retain 
a  cheerful  hope,  that  some  things  you  cannot 
at  present  receive,  will  hereafter  be  the  joy 
and  comfort  of  your  heart;  but  I  know  it 
cannot  be  till  the  Lord's  own  time.  I  can- 
not promise  to  give  such  long  answers  as 
your  letters  require,  to  clear  up  every  text 
that  may  be  proposed,  and  to  answer  every 
objection  that  may  be  started;  yet  I  shall  be 
glad  to  change  a  letter  now  and  then.  At 
present,  it  remains  with  you  whether  our 
correspondence  continues  or  not,  and  this  is 
the  third  letter  I  have  written  since  I  heard 
from  you,  and  therefore  must  be  the  last  till 
I  do.  I  should  think  what  remains  might  be 
better  settled  viva  voce;  for  which  purpose  I 
shall  be  glad  to  see  you,  or  ready  to  wait  on 
you  when  leisure  will  permit,  and  when  I 
know  it  will  be  agreeable:  but  if  (as  life  and 
all  its  affairs  are  precarious)  we  should  never 
meet  in  this  world,  I  pray  God  we  may 
meet  at  the  right  hand  of  Jesus,  in  the  great 
day  when  he  shall  come  to  gather  up  his 
jewels  and  to  judge  the  world.  There  is  an 
endless  diversity  of  opinions  in  matters  of  re- 
ligion; which  of  them  are  right  and  safe,  and 
will  lead  to  eternal  glory,  that  day  will  show. 
I  am  still  in  a  manner  lost  amidst  more  en- 
gagements than  I  have  time  to  comply  with; 
but  I  feel  and  know  that  I  am,  &c. 


THE  END. 


DATE  DUE 

'tHMMB 

1 

^^m 

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GAYLORD 

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